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Rytha

Rytha Lew Chiu Min
劉秋敏
21/06/1994
lionheaddragonclaw@hotmail.com
Nan Chiau Primary School(graduated)
Peicai Secondary School
4F '10
Female
Past Interact Club President
NCC(Sea) Staff Sergeant
Kayaker
Adidas Lover

[In my world, take backs only happen once.]
[You found my blog? Good, that means you know where you stand.]


I have a mouth for a reason

a monster that make boys cry
Monday, April 25, 2011 4:52 PM

Happiness. and Joy.
Strength.
Sadness.
Anger.

When I first came into Republic, I thought. It would be like secondary school. I would just be my normal me, not close to anyone, but a friend to everyone. Then first came the FOP. Fun, too much fun. So close to my mates, and putting our everything into it for the people who put the best in us. Then it followed to the clique. Friends, so close, so friendly, so...talkable. What am I to say? It was a blast knowing them. Happiness flowed into me, I might just stick to them forever in poly. Why not? Again, it felt so right. So what am I supposed to do but just stay and enjoy. So much happiness flowing.

With them around, I felt strong. I had people around me, who cared for me, and I acted like such a big sister. I took care of them, in a way or another. I set my mind to always make sure they were safe. I felt POWERFUL. I felt strength being put into my hands. I took things a little too far though. Maybe just a little too far. To even Bukit Batok.

Then why sadness had to come, I don't understand. We started fighting. More people got hurt. I was hurt. I got things I wasn't supposed to get. I'm a person who just lets this move on. However, she took over and started to clear things up. And this was something I couldn't do ever for myself. Maybe that's the reason nobody actually stays around me. I could clear other's problems, but not my own. And this came in, and I was left dumbfounded. I started to keep quiet, because it seemed meaningless for me to say anything. I would either hurt someone else, or do something stupid. And I swore to just stand by her and do nothing but protect her, and hopefully them as well. She's taking it harder than me, and I know how it hurts, and I don't want her to suffer, especially because of them. It has become pain, even before the suffering start.

Anger. They didn't bother. Why don't you ever bother. You try to help her, but now you cut everything off from me. What is this? What has this clique become? It became a debate team, with oppositions and neutrals. What to do now, you tell me. We try our best to do what we can to keep this together, yet the few of you are taking it apart with your bullshit and also your will to do nothing more than you are now. What are you doing? Being the momma's boy. Not trying to even fight for your right to spend time with us. I was on the verge of saying, are you seriously a man? It's okay to me, but what for the rest of us. And what's more. See her anger. I want to protect her, and yet I can't stop you from hurting her. Because she cares about you. And I do too. But what you're doing is just absolutely bullshit. People want to help you, and you just do this and that that piss us all off. At most times I'm so close to opening my mouth to scold you until you start crying. But what will that help? I will just loose a friend, and more problems will be created. So I keep myself shut. Until you're willing to say sorry. So you better do. I care, if not I wouldn't even be bothered and just leave. And I really want to protect her. So just please do what you need to do, as a man. Clear things out, and apologise.

My emotions will take the better of me. So control me.

Friday, April 22, 2011 11:35 PM

Happy you can say? I guess that's true. After going through Republic Poly's Freshmen Orientation Programme, I felt so much more livelier. I can't live without my batch of friends. I guess I'm starting to rely on people too much. My guard is being let down, my emotions are flowing sky high and I don't know how to control myself. Maybe I should take another few more protein balls and just run rounds around the school. I had so much fun, made so many friends and just rocked the world.

I have nothing much to say except that I really just enjoyed myself too much during my first few weeks in Republic Poly. I am now officially a Republican. And I am rocking it.

Tomorrow is 3 star assessment. How do I feel? Let's just put it. I feel like I'm not prepared again. To face the sea. To do my skills which I failed. To be taken under Calvin. I AM SCARED. And what am I going to do? I'm just going to stand tall and do the best I can. And mug the shit out of the stupid orange book.

AND I BETTER PASS.

clique: I love you guys. So please don't misunderstand me.

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