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Rytha

Rytha Lew Chiu Min
劉秋敏
21/06/1994
lionheaddragonclaw@hotmail.com
Nan Chiau Primary School(graduated)
Peicai Secondary School
4F '10
Female
Past Interact Club President
NCC(Sea) Staff Sergeant
Kayaker
Adidas Lover

[In my world, take backs only happen once.]
[You found my blog? Good, that means you know where you stand.]


I have a mouth for a reason

a monster that make boys cry
Saturday, February 26, 2011 12:23 AM

When I start putting everything aside, and I start to clear my mind. And when the conversation started with my friends. It led to something communist. Then it led to poor and underprivileged people. And it led to this thought. How come I'm here, complaining about every piece of shit that comes to me. Having the privilege to even blog, not to mention every other thing I was gifted with when I was born till now. How I'm able to live under a roof, have food like it flows in a river. Have an education that has such high standards, and have such a thing called the internet. To be given so much, and take grant of it is such a waste. Especially on me. And every other spoilt brat out there.

We were born with hands to write and hold, with legs to walk and run, with a brain to think and decide. Ears to listen, a nose to smell, a tongue to taste, eyes to see, and the ability to touch. A heart to feel, to feel pain, to feel love, to feel grief, anger, sadness, happiness, ecstasy.

What about the autistic child who can't feel but think feelings are an image in their head which their emotions follow.

What about the child who was born blind, and have never seen the real meaning of colours.

What about the child who can never hear, and listen to the perfect pitch in music.

What about the child who couldn't smell nor taste, because his nerves were mismatched.

What about the children with neither arms nor legs, the inability to write nor walk.

What about the special children, unable to express what they want.

What about the animals and people who rot to death on the streets, and no one stopped to care?

What about the strongest and smartest men in the world, they lose out because they weren't given the chance to go to their fullest potential and die of slavery and aids.

What about the orphans in the camps?

What about the people in old aged homes, with no family there for them?

What about the insane and demented people, who can't be understood by people?

Start to appreciate the smallest things in life. Because they might just come only once.

And I'm not going to waste anymore time on anyone anymore. No regrets!

Monday, February 21, 2011 11:13 PM

I was thinking, if this would happen, and what you would do, or how you'd react.

If I was kidnapped randomly by some idiot, and if I called for your help. Would you come to my rescue, like you once promised you would?

If I was lost, and for the first time, I couldn't find my way home. Would you come to my aid and get me out of my fear?

If I told you now, or later, that my feelings or thoughts have never died down. Would you still come back to me, or would you even care?

When you said I'd be yours and you'd protect me as long as you live, but took back your words, I forgave you. When you got angry at me and shouted at me, I forgave you. When you left me, I forgave you. When you deleted me, when I should have gotten pissed, I forgave you. When I should have screwed you upside down for making the days pass by awfully, I forgave you. When you left me a day before valentine's day, I forgave you. When you treated me as a trial and error test, I forgave you.

What I don't get is why you wouldn't even give it a second chance. I can't let go, and you know that I won't, for at least a really long time. Because knowing as much as I want to, I can't get myself to. You gave me the power to put so much faith into something so hard to let go.

How can you say you're a man, when you're not a man of your words? How can you protect your friends and family, if you can't even protect me? How can you be so heartless, when you said you felt so much? How can you say that you don't want even a little bit of intimacy, when you said relationships need intimacy? How can you talk about how the story about the coffee, the eggs and the potato when your past makes you so afraid of the future?

You said you weren't perfect, I already knew you weren't. But neither am I. I'm not perfect, and far from it. But you weren't contented. Not one bit. You said you didn't know what you wanted, but knew what you didn't want. You're just a clueless little boy.

You're not shameless, you don't want to be seen as weak. You're not an asshole, you just don't want people to see how you really feel. You don't hate people talking about the subject, you just want to move on without any pain. You're not selfish, you were thinking about both of us when you made that decision.

My maturity made you come to me. My insanity made me interesting. My childish parts made me look cute. But my emotions made me look immature. My crying made you walk. My voice made you stop. So from now on, I shall be less heartless, I shall not cry, and I shall not speak, unless need be. Unless you stop me now and say that these things aren't true, then you should tell me now.

My mind tells me you're not worth thinking about. My heart tells me that I'm not prepared to leave. I'm confused yet again.

Mics

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