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Rytha Rytha Lew Chiu Min 劉秋敏 21/06/1994 lionheaddragonclaw@hotmail.com Nan Chiau Primary School(graduated) Peicai Secondary School 4F '10 Female Past Interact Club President NCC(Sea) Staff Sergeant Kayaker Adidas Lover [In my world, take backs only happen once.] [You found my blog? Good, that means you know where you stand.] |
I have a mouth for a reason
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| a monster that make boys cry | |
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Thursday, March 5, 2009 5:46 AM
I have alot of problems now, including the headache I keep having after the ball hit my eye. The EL department in my school is sending me for so many courses, NCC is sending me for spec course 2 weeks later, and also for the next AKE if I find a partner soon enough. And I have 2 maths test today and I'm totally unprepared. Have also tons of school work which I need the time to do and also alot alot of help with. And my exams are coming up next week, I really need to study. My mental capacity is going really really low. The cross-stitch thingy is the only thing that'll keep my mind at peace for now. I can only get comfort from people near me, especially Joseph. I now have another problem...... I just wanted a small break from all these problems. I know you well enough and really hoped you would just listen for once. I know someone told you I was at mac. No one told you that my rehersal had been cancelled though. And I really just needed to talk to David and Justin and Syafiq. I had to discuss something with them that you couldn't know. But I know you'd hurt if you were there. It hurts me as much as it hurts you. The comfort that I always needed didn't come from you, but Joseph. But he was the one that pushed me to stay by your side. ... I didn't want to tell you that my rehersal was cancelled because I needed to talk to David and Justin in private. So far as I know, Justin is close enough to you to help me with information. Atleast I'll be able to know that you're doing fine in school. Is that not simple enough? You have really good friends in your school, just take the time to trust them. I didn't want to meet you because I really needed the time off to talk to them. They told me alot of things that made me more unhappy than I wanted to be. And just talk to Joseph, can you? It's not like he'll kill you or something. He's my brother, and he's always tried his best to be there for me. ... And I never left you because I loved you. I never had a doubt that you'd love me too. But today just made me lose my heart. The answer you gave was a big shock to me, and now it is really hard to recover from it. No one is to get blamed for telling me anything, especially those close to you or are trying to help you. I stuck to you because I just wanted to be with you, not because of how you looked or who you were. You were just too close to me already. If I didn't love you at all, I would like been like others who would leave you because of your bad attitude, your lacking in any initiative and looks. None of this had affected me that much. But now you're already talking about breaking up, so why? I thought you really loved me, and everybody knows you're the only thing I care about most now. I just wish you would understand. And when you were walking at the opposite block, I was scared already. I already knew you had doubts of me. I know I'm short, I'm not that smart, I'm not pretty or divine looking as you would want your girlfriend to be. I already have doubts about myself, and I know you'd also have doubts about me. I can understand if you want to break up. I also didn't expect this to happen. Whatever the choice, I leave it up to you. I'm just going to sleep all my sadness away on friday, and have a long chat with David tomorrow. ... Everyone just hopes you would change for the better, even me. But all I really ask for is for you to be beside me and be true to me. I know you only asked for stead last time because there wasn't any other girls around you, and you really had alot of help from Scott. But ever since I accepted you as my boyfriend, I just wish you would stay with me. Please think of how I would feel, and to how everyone feels. The world doesn't just revolve around you, it revolves around everybody. And the we are all trying our best to help you, so just please... ... THINK ABOUT OTHERS TOO. |
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