Rytha

2011-08-15T13:49:00.002+08:00

If you love me, show me. Words don't count when your actions mean show much more.

Don't hug me, don't even touch me, when your eyes are on someone else.

How would feel if I talked about all the hot, smart and nice guys when you're around? When I start eyeing them as they walked by? Would you ever have liked it.

I'm not only sensitive, I'm just thinking all the time if you really love me. Because people do crazy things when they're in love. You're not doing anything at all. You broke all your promises. You didn't mean what you say. When we confronted, instead of hugging me, you just sat down and did nothing. You kept thinking of yourself. You didn't think of me. Or us. Every time I'd end up in your class. Do you actually think before you ask me to do things? Do girls go or boys go? Who's making the effort now? Who's waiting for you after IG? Who's making time for who? Who's the one which doesn't come up with so many reasons? Who's the one who doesn't want to go the extra mile?

I try my best to surprise you. I want you to be happy with the random acts of hugs and kisses. But you don't know what to do. When you're around you just stone. I want a surprise, just one small one.

You already ruined my birthday, everyday I go to your class I also get angry. It's very hard to take all these pain. I've suffered enough in the first relationship, more than enough within the time that we were separated, and now I'm still hurting. People think I'm stupid getting back with you. Don't make me support them and call myself a stupid person.

HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME, AND THEN TELL ME YOU'LL LEAVE ME SOMEDAY?

Banning of social network: You think this is funny?!

2011-07-14T14:04:00.002+08:00

To: Dr Janice Khoo
From: Rytha Lew Chiu Min

Sports and Exercise Sciences
Date: 14 Jul 2011
Subject: Banning of social networks

Dear Dr Khoo,

I am Rytha Lew from class E25P,and I have written this letter to address the banning of social networks. As a student of the School of Sports, Health and Leisure(SHL), I myself am affected by this and I feel that it should be not implemented. Why the need to ban social networks such as facebook or twitter, when it has never affected any students in their work or even their attitudes.

To a student’s point of view, if the banning of social networks were to be implemented, will be a drastic move to all of us. We assume that the reasons that caused you to actually initiate the banning of social networks was because that you feel that it is a distraction to the students, which is your most worrying factor. However, other factors considered would also be the shortening of our attention spans, or weakening of our immune system. This however, only happens to students whom are in active, and I believe that very few of these students would be present, especially as we belong to SHL.

The effects of banning social networks would be drastic, as many students do actually rely on these social networks for communication purposes and also a source of primary information. If students were not allowed into their social networks, they would definitely be enraged and affected. Many of them rely on social networks to communicate and to solve their daily problems in their problem based learning(PBL), which we need to do every day. This will cause us to do worse for our daily problems, and it will cause us to get lower grades. This will cause many students to be affected and they would rather stay at home than to come to school, knowing that they will not do well with the limited resources that we are given.

Social networks such as facebook, twitter, and also msn are great resources for students, and even staff, as it is easier to communicate and also to pass out information. It gives them a platform to speak their minds, and also hear and be heard from different people, such as those from other students in other schools. It opens a platform for everyone from every place to do speak up about the problems which we face during our PBL. I am very sure that many students will agree with me on this, because we all do use social networking for daily purposes.

As students, we are just mere voices within the school. What we can do would be to give suggestions on how the administrative board can work on the implementation of banning social networks. What we can suggest would be that you do not ban our usage of social networking, but deny it’s access during the 3^rd meeting, as it is the most important part of the day. Speed and time is of the essence, and I am sure that the facilitators and staff of our school would agree with me as well. It is much easier to ask a friend whom is in another block within seconds on social networking rather than walking all the way and using up our precious time.

I do hope that you do understand our point of view, and that you do get back to me about the banning of social networks. Please do think twice because this is something of very high importance to all students of the school. Please do contact me back at 113848@myrp.edu.sg.

Yours Faithfully,

Rytha Lew Chiu Min(representing class E25P ’11)

113848

Sports and Exercise Sciences

School of Sports, Health and Leisure

2011-05-31T23:57:00.003+08:00

When will you ever have time. When will you ever have proper time management. Obviously I asked you to go out with me on friday because we can spend the most time on that day. I repeat time and time again that I have trainings on mondays and wednesdays, and I coach on saturdays and sundays. I work on tuesdays also. I thought I made it really damn clear.

You always don't talk to me first, and I always have to start the conversation. Okay, most of the time. And you always talk half way and run away. How the heck am I supposed to have a proper conversation with you. I'm taking away a lot of things to spend time with you, and I don't see you giving back the same effort.

If you're busy doing work, I'll understand. But when you tell me you're doing work, and you're all over the place instead, of course I'm pissed. When I talk to you, I want to know whether you're really there talking to me. I see you giving heart shapes to other girls, and I'm pissed. I know I'm a little insane to follow you through your whole twitter, but isn't that what twitter is about? I tell you not to say vulgarities, and you go on and on and on and on with them, like it's not bothering me one bit. When you smoke, and you know I'm going to find out, or you're lying to me about it, which you have done every time, you're going to hell one step on and on. And with all that you're pushing me with, it's really Fucked up. Seriously. I'm at my edge already.

The only one big thing that I asked you to do was give up on smoking. I know it's hard, but why can't you just make the effort for me. Is it so hard just to please me just this little bit.

You talk to her, I just let it be. I don't even wanna know what you talk to her about. But it bothers me, but I don't want my bothering to bother you.

When you didn't have me, you were chasing me like nobody's business. Now that you have me, I feel like I'm taken for granted. You're not appreciating the fact that I'm around. You can't even come up with some proper common sense.

I wanna say everything good about you, which I have been, for a while. But after all this crap coming, how can I? How can I hide the fact that I'm unhappy with you? You're just not making the effort. I don't give a shit if you don't have any money, or if you have limited time. But can you just make the best out of it? I'm going my all out for it and you're actually standing there and waiting for that magic trick to come out of my hands? Come on, I went into this because I wanted to do this whole thing with you. It's one sided now. You're on your side, and I'm on my side. Decide when you wanna join sides, then tell me. Because I don't wanna drag a 2 person boat by myself, even when I know I can.

I need you there. I need your support. I need someone. I'm lonely. I'm emotionally unstable. I'm cranky. I'm crazy. Over you. Stop pushing me on the edge. I'm on my own borderline. I'm working, studying, training, coaching, and going mad internally. I look normal, seem normal, sound normal, and make everyone think I'm normal. Everyone's wrong.

You don't even tell me you love me anymore.

What is a group, when the feelings burst?

2011-04-25T16:52:00.004+08:00

Happiness. and Joy.

Strength.

Sadness.

Anger.

When I first came into Republic, I thought. It would be like secondary school. I would just be my normal me, not close to anyone, but a friend to everyone. Then first came the FOP. Fun, too much fun. So close to my mates, and putting our everything into it for the people who put the best in us. Then it followed to the clique. Friends, so close, so friendly, so...talkable. What am I to say? It was a blast knowing them. Happiness flowed into me, I might just stick to them forever in poly. Why not? Again, it felt so right. So what am I supposed to do but just stay and enjoy. So much happiness flowing.

With them around, I felt strong. I had people around me, who cared for me, and I acted like such a big sister. I took care of them, in a way or another. I set my mind to always make sure they were safe. I felt POWERFUL. I felt strength being put into my hands. I took things a little too far though. Maybe just a little too far. To even Bukit Batok.

Then why sadness had to come, I don't understand. We started fighting. More people got hurt. I was hurt. I got things I wasn't supposed to get. I'm a person who just lets this move on. However, she took over and started to clear things up. And this was something I couldn't do ever for myself. Maybe that's the reason nobody actually stays around me. I could clear other's problems, but not my own. And this came in, and I was left dumbfounded. I started to keep quiet, because it seemed meaningless for me to say anything. I would either hurt someone else, or do something stupid. And I swore to just stand by her and do nothing but protect her, and hopefully them as well. She's taking it harder than me, and I know how it hurts, and I don't want her to suffer, especially because of them. It has become pain, even before the suffering start.

Anger. They didn't bother. Why don't you ever bother. You try to help her, but now you cut everything off from me. What is this? What has this clique become? It became a debate team, with oppositions and neutrals. What to do now, you tell me. We try our best to do what we can to keep this together, yet the few of you are taking it apart with your bullshit and also your will to do nothing more than you are now. What are you doing? Being the momma's boy. Not trying to even fight for your right to spend time with us. I was on the verge of saying, are you seriously a man? It's okay to me, but what for the rest of us. And what's more. See her anger. I want to protect her, and yet I can't stop you from hurting her. Because she cares about you. And I do too. But what you're doing is just absolutely bullshit. People want to help you, and you just do this and that that piss us all off. At most times I'm so close to opening my mouth to scold you until you start crying. But what will that help? I will just loose a friend, and more problems will be created. So I keep myself shut. Until you're willing to say sorry. So you better do. I care, if not I wouldn't even be bothered and just leave. And I really want to protect her. So just please do what you need to do, as a man. Clear things out, and apologise.

My emotions will take the better of me. So control me.

2011-04-22T23:35:00.002+08:00

Happy you can say? I guess that's true. After going through Republic Poly's Freshmen Orientation Programme, I felt so much more livelier. I can't live without my batch of friends. I guess I'm starting to rely on people too much. My guard is being let down, my emotions are flowing sky high and I don't know how to control myself. Maybe I should take another few more protein balls and just run rounds around the school. I had so much fun, made so many friends and just rocked the world.

I have nothing much to say except that I really just enjoyed myself too much during my first few weeks in Republic Poly. I am now officially a Republican. And I am rocking it.

Tomorrow is 3 star assessment. How do I feel? Let's just put it. I feel like I'm not prepared again. To face the sea. To do my skills which I failed. To be taken under Calvin. I AM SCARED. And what am I going to do? I'm just going to stand tall and do the best I can. And mug the shit out of the stupid orange book.

AND I BETTER PASS.

clique: I love you guys. So please don't misunderstand me.

2011-03-15T22:51:00.003+08:00

Ask yourself, are you broken yet?

Yes I've broken.

Ask yourself, are you broken yet?

Yes, I've said, I've broken.

Ask yourself, are you broken yet?

Yes, I have broken. And I'm still going to say yes.

Well, why don't you just jump off a building. Because if you say you're broken, I don't think you'll ever fix yourself. You won't even be talking. You'd be dead. Or stoned. Instead of doing everything else there in life, you're just wasting your time. Doing nothing. So what are you going to do. You're going to walk, look around, observe a little, and then feel. Because when you see other people broken, you know you've not suffered as much as them. So you start feeling better about yourself. And then you say to yourself, I'm so selfish. You start looking at the pretty things around you. You appreciate them, for just being them. The flower, for being so pretty, the grass, for being so soft. You appreciate your parents, for raising you to become who you are, a fine strong lady. You stood up for yourself all these years, why let one thing break you down now after you've come so far? So you stand up, you wake up, and tell yourself, I'm not going to give up just yet. Winner never quit, and quitters never win. So from then on, you don't quit. You suffer, take the pain, cry the tears, and you move on. You stand up, you walk, you smile, and you take a stand.

I may have broken, but I'm fixing myself right now. As that beautiful glass shatters, the big pieces which still stand firm are able to be rebuilt and recreated, and maybe into something much more beautiful and strong. And as it modifies, and as you modify, you grow stronger, and you grow even better and beautiful. Life's all about moving. And the moment you stop, you're not going to go anywhere until you start moving again.

I can't stop. Because I know people rely on me. And I know I'm not weak anymore. I can stand up on my own two feet and walk, run and move. It doesn't take a smart person to say, I can still do it. And it doesn't take a strong willed person to say, I'm not going to give up. We were all born with a will, and now it depends on us on how we build this will to say "I will not quit".

Are you broken now?
Yes I broke, but I'm fixing myself back. And as I fix myself, I'll modify myself, and make myself even better, because I know that the crack that caused my life to break, has gone and now I have the ability to change for the better. Although new cracks and breaks will come in, I will have the power now to say that I will still fix myself. And that's what I'm going to do.

2011-03-08T00:42:00.003+08:00

I found this in my notes in my files a few years back, and I did this note when I was in church once, and I feel this needs to be shared. Well, at least it doesn't have any christian quotes or whatsoever, so it can be applied no matter what.

Why the best leaders are the best leaders

The Best Leaders Give Their Best to Their People by...

1. Growing

- To give people your best, you have to elevate your leadership capacity.

- Metaphor: When walking up a narrow staircase, you can only go as fast as the person in front of you. When leaders grow, they ascend the stairs and create space for those behind them to climb higher.

-Personal growth involves challenging yourself, and pushing beyond the realm of comfort.

2. Serving

[Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile-Albert Einstein]

-Serving others is an attitude issue.

-But sadly, many leaders operate under a king-of-the-hill mentality.

-Best leaders take a different approach.

-They extend a hand to lift the performance of teammates and coworkers.

-They function with a mindset of abundance and wield their influence to prop others up rather than to elevate themselves.

-Serving is a motives issue, and the crux of the matter boils down to a simple question: "who?"

-The best leaders set a tony by serving and prove they are deserving of being out in front.

3.Modelling

-Growing leaders have something to share.

-Serving leaders have something to give.

-Modelling leaders have something to show.

[Leaders tell, but never teach, until they practice what they preach-VJ Featherstone]

-The best leaders embody their values.

-Their passion exudes from every pore and demands respect.

The Best Leaders Get the Best from Their People By...

1.Listening

-The smartest leaders realise the limitations of their wisdom, and they listen to their people to capture invaluable insights.

-They don't listen just to gain knowledge, they also listen to give people permission.

.permission to challenge the process

.permission to test assumptions

.permission to take risks

-Nothing turns off an up-and-coming leader like the dear ear of a superior.

-Best leaders don't simply listen to incoming ideads, they proactively draw them out of their people.

-They listen actively, not passively.

2.Relating

-Leaders touch a heart before they ask for a hand.

-To touch a heart, a leader has to be open to disclosing his or her identity by sharing personal stories and owning up to professional weaknesses.

-Mysterious or aloof leaders may be successful decision-makers, but they won't get the heartfelt loyalty that comes from authentic relationships.

-Making a person feel known correlates powerfully to their job satisfaction.

-Leaders dignify their people by studying their interests, learning about their families and finding out their hobbies.

-Conscious of the power of connection, the best leaders refuse to be barricaded inside an office, and they take responsibility for relating with others on a regular basis.

3.Teaching

-The best leaders have an infectious thirst for knowledge, and they take pride in cultivating knowledge of their craft and awareness of their industry.

-A leader's teaching ability depends upon ongoing personal growth.

[If you stop growing today, you stop teaching tomorrow-Howard Hendricks]

4.Developing

-The best leaders understand the differences between training people for tasks and developing people to be better leaders.

Training Developing

[Focus on the job] [Focus on the person]

[Adds value to specific things] [Adds value to everything]

[Helpful for a short time] [Helpful for a lifetime]

[Changes a performance] [Changes the performer]

-The best leaders view their people as appreciable assets and prioritise investing in the talent of their teams.

5.Motivating

-If you listen, relate, teach, and develop your people, then they will be motivated.

-Sustained motivation comes by creating the right environment for your people and by doing the right things consistently nurture them.

-Considering a flower

.cannot grow in the artic(requires a climate conductive to growth)

.but in the right environment, the flower must be[to fill in]

.planted in hospitable soil, exposed to sunlight, watered, and freed of weeds.

2011-02-26T00:23:00.002+08:00

When I start putting everything aside, and I start to clear my mind. And when the conversation started with my friends. It led to something communist. Then it led to poor and underprivileged people. And it led to this thought. How come I'm here, complaining about every piece of shit that comes to me. Having the privilege to even blog, not to mention every other thing I was gifted with when I was born till now. How I'm able to live under a roof, have food like it flows in a river. Have an education that has such high standards, and have such a thing called the internet. To be given so much, and take grant of it is such a waste. Especially on me. And every other spoilt brat out there.

We were born with hands to write and hold, with legs to walk and run, with a brain to think and decide. Ears to listen, a nose to smell, a tongue to taste, eyes to see, and the ability to touch. A heart to feel, to feel pain, to feel love, to feel grief, anger, sadness, happiness, ecstasy.

What about the autistic child who can't feel but think feelings are an image in their head which their emotions follow.

What about the child who was born blind, and have never seen the real meaning of colours.

What about the child who can never hear, and listen to the perfect pitch in music.

What about the child who couldn't smell nor taste, because his nerves were mismatched.

What about the children with neither arms nor legs, the inability to write nor walk.

What about the special children, unable to express what they want.

What about the animals and people who rot to death on the streets, and no one stopped to care?

What about the strongest and smartest men in the world, they lose out because they weren't given the chance to go to their fullest potential and die of slavery and aids.

What about the orphans in the camps?

What about the people in old aged homes, with no family there for them?

What about the insane and demented people, who can't be understood by people?

Start to appreciate the smallest things in life. Because they might just come only once.

And I'm not going to waste anymore time on anyone anymore. No regrets!

2011-02-21T23:13:00.002+08:00

I was thinking, if this would happen, and what you would do, or how you'd react.

If I was kidnapped randomly by some idiot, and if I called for your help. Would you come to my rescue, like you once promised you would?

If I was lost, and for the first time, I couldn't find my way home. Would you come to my aid and get me out of my fear?

If I told you now, or later, that my feelings or thoughts have never died down. Would you still come back to me, or would you even care?

When you said I'd be yours and you'd protect me as long as you live, but took back your words, I forgave you. When you got angry at me and shouted at me, I forgave you. When you left me, I forgave you. When you deleted me, when I should have gotten pissed, I forgave you. When I should have screwed you upside down for making the days pass by awfully, I forgave you. When you left me a day before valentine's day, I forgave you. When you treated me as a trial and error test, I forgave you.

What I don't get is why you wouldn't even give it a second chance. I can't let go, and you know that I won't, for at least a really long time. Because knowing as much as I want to, I can't get myself to. You gave me the power to put so much faith into something so hard to let go.

How can you say you're a man, when you're not a man of your words? How can you protect your friends and family, if you can't even protect me? How can you be so heartless, when you said you felt so much? How can you say that you don't want even a little bit of intimacy, when you said relationships need intimacy? How can you talk about how the story about the coffee, the eggs and the potato when your past makes you so afraid of the future?

You said you weren't perfect, I already knew you weren't. But neither am I. I'm not perfect, and far from it. But you weren't contented. Not one bit. You said you didn't know what you wanted, but knew what you didn't want. You're just a clueless little boy.

You're not shameless, you don't want to be seen as weak. You're not an asshole, you just don't want people to see how you really feel. You don't hate people talking about the subject, you just want to move on without any pain. You're not selfish, you were thinking about both of us when you made that decision.

My maturity made you come to me. My insanity made me interesting. My childish parts made me look cute. But my emotions made me look immature. My crying made you walk. My voice made you stop. So from now on, I shall be less heartless, I shall not cry, and I shall not speak, unless need be. Unless you stop me now and say that these things aren't true, then you should tell me now.

My mind tells me you're not worth thinking about. My heart tells me that I'm not prepared to leave. I'm confused yet again.

2011-01-29T02:54:00.001+08:00

Yes, It's finally time to post something good about something great for the best reasons. I finally moved on and I have someone great to thank for. But there are other things I want to thank too.

1. Gavin: without you, he wouldn't have linked up to me.

2. Mark Zuckerberg, for creating facebook, a portal for him to know me in the first place and add me.

3. That God gave me such kinds of attitude and behaviour similar to his.

4. God gave me a chance to know a guy like him.

He makes me feel like I am loved, I am cared for, I finally became a proper girl. You tried talking me into a better girl, and you knew me inside out. I didn't even have to open my mouth and you opened my heart. We only met once and you gave me a whole new splurge or energy and adrenaline. You called me names, and they make me feel so loved. You make me feel pretty. You gave me a solid strong first kiss. You know what I want. You know what you want. You made everything feel right. Doesn't that give you a reason for me to love you even more?(:

I'm not really sure what else to say, but this sorta first date really made me feel happy. And I love hugging your warm body, even if I have to look up just to see you. I love you, my awesomest, most unique and special flubby teddy bear!♥

It's a new day, It's a new start

It's alive with the beating of a young heart

It's a new day, It's a new plan

I've been waiting for you, here I am.

2011-01-05T03:57:00.002+08:00

I'm sick, I can't sleep, my chest is inflamed and I'm alone. Every time, wonder why it's always you in my head. I hate you, I really do, but it just keeps bothering me day and night. I hate you. A lot. It just snaps back into my mind all the time. It's been almost a week, and I still can't let it go. I can't let it go, I just can't. I'm not able to let go, at least not yet. It's human nature, it's my nature, to not let go, at least without any remorse. Even if letting go was my fault, I would be upset, even guilty. But you don't feeling anything, no shit at all. You don't feel pain, you don't feel useless, unwilling, unable to do anything while a person you care for and loved walk away heartlessly.

I hate you. I can't let go of you. I want you to say sorry. Properly. My head is being driven nuts by you. I wanna cry yet I can't. I feel alone. I want distractions yet I can't because of the stupid shingles. I'm not allowed to work, I can't go out with friends, and do you know how shitty that feels? Alone, unable to do anything, friends unable to do anything about it? I'm a person who can't stand to be alone, and you should know that clearly. Yet you still left me when I was most lonely, where I didn't have my family, where I didn't have the company I needed. You have needs, what about me? You thought about the best of yourself, what about me? You selfish ass, you only thought about yourself.

I'm sick, I'm alone, I'm upset. Does that make you happy now? Thanks for wasting my time, fooling me, making me sacrifice for an asshole like you. Shingles suck, but you're worse. You made me suffer. Shingles were just a small side problem in life. It may be painful but I had myself to blame. You were a mistake. The time I had with you wasted me away.

I didn't choose to hate you, I just do. You chose to make hurt me, not that you were even thinking about it. If I see you on Thursday, you better watch out. I'm gonna punch you, even in your own school.

2011-01-05T03:15:00.001+08:00

2010-12-24T02:13:00.012+08:00

You should die for what you did. You left. And for what reason may I ask? You didn't tell me the truth, while you lie to me on and on, and I forgave you so that no complications arise.

"hmmm, I've been thinking about this for awhile now... But i really think that we should just be good friends instead of being together.. My studies have been affected, together with a lot of other things... So i thought that instead of leading you on, i should just end it instead of piercing the dagger deeper into my own heart and yours.. I'm sorry... But the past few months spent with you have definitely been the best in my life and i want to thank you for giving me that (o:"

This is bullshit. How can you just leave like that without any sadness or remorse? You're a total asshole. However, knowing something like this was going to happen sooner or later, I don't really blame you totally. But you're still an ass. TTYL isn't going to come, is it? I trusted you.

You don't blame me when your results get like shit. You don't leave me when I need you most. You don't call me baby and 2 days later sms me something this bad while I was still in JB. You don't play with my feelings and run away just like that. And with some other girl.

Now I understand why you didn't dare to even hug me in my own house. You're on my mum's "I'm going to kill you" list now. Be proud, you're on the top.

If you have the brains, you would be reading this. If you cared, even just a little, you would do something about this. If you're really sorry, you would write me an essay why you left. If you're smart, avoid me at all cost, and protect your head.

Beware. You've just made another enemy.

2010-12-08T02:10:00.003+08:00

Let me make this as straight as I can.

I hate it when I hear the "F" word.

I hate people who are obsessed with kpop.

I hate people who act like pai kias and get their ass kicked the next moment.

I hate pai kias.

I hate guys with piercings.

I hate guys who look like a piece of crap and think they look awesome.

I hate guys that don't give a shit.

I hate guys who don't know anything.

I hate irritating people.

I hate idiots who act smart.

I hate my phone.

I hate the idiots that surround my life.

I hate people who add me on facebook and msn and make no shit out of themselves.

I hate people who don't cut and clean their nails.

I hate idiots with too long hair.

I hate people who have asshole attitudes.

Maybe change the "hate" to "dislike". It's too strong.

2010-11-20T23:09:00.001+08:00

WHY IS IT WHEN I NEED YOU THE MOST, YOU RUN AWAY AND DON'T LOOK ME IN THE EYE?

2010-11-10T02:19:00.003+08:00

I can't sleep. I still can't sleep. Panadol doesn't do anything. I think I should just stay awake all night till tomorrow morning to wish bestie all the best for his exam. Thanks a lot insomnia. And thanks a lot anger.

Non-fat yogurt doesn't taste sour at all anymore.

2010-11-09T22:02:00.005+08:00

I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE PISSED OFF, SHOUT VULGAR IN FRONT OF EVERYONE, GO OUT AND FEAST ON MUMBO BUFFETS, BURN MY WORKSHEETS AND WORKBOOKS ON THE SPOT, BREAK EVERY SINGLE THING I CAN IN THE HOUSE, SCREAM, CRY, TORMENT THE WHOLE WORLD, GO TO THE GYM AND BREAK DOWN THE BOXING THINGY, AND SET THE MICROWAVE ON FIRE. I'M SICK OF GETTING ANGRY. SAD THING I'M NOT HOME YET.

2010-11-03T18:12:00.003+08:00

Being the strongest in the family just means more work for you. You gotta carry the grocery, you gotta carry the chairs, you gotta clear the plates. You get the respect for being the strongest because you have the ability to move things physically, able to stay healthy the longest, giving no problems to the family. Well, we're only respected when we're given a task and it comes out just perfectly. We carry it out. In the end, what do we get? "You're the strongest mah, you should be the one carrying the food instead of your brothers and sisters". This isn't funny, neither is it fair.

Being the so-called smartest in the family, doesn't mean you can blame everything on me. When I get bad grades, you should know, frankly, I'm not a person who would study. Like you said, if you sent me to the states, I'd be in a really high grade university by now. I'm not a person with good memory, how many shitty times must I tell you. When the computer crashes, don't blame me when that happens, just because I'm the only one in the house who knows how to plant viruses and do shit online. Yes, I'm good at it, but it doesn't mean that I have to take the crap that it spoils all the time. And no, just because I'm the smartest, don't find me for every problem you have. It may only take me 5 mins to do what you want, but do it yourself, even if it takes you 2 hours. It's not my job, even if I'm the "smart" one.

Being the biggest sized in the family is just bullshit. Being called "ah fat", "pui jie", "fat pig", is that really nice? Seriously, when you call me that, do you think I don't feel anything just because we're blood related? Yes, you may be skinny and all, but at least don't call me fat. You're skinny, but you fall sick all the time. You're small, you're easily attacked. You're spoilt, you spend like there's no tomorrow while this whole family is going through a crisis together. Shouldn't you be helping? Instead, you're going for a $68,000 course. After redoing your Os and getting kicked out of polytechnic. You're pulling us down, and you still are. Sure, I may be bigger, but at least I don't give as much problems to this family unlike you. Sure, I eat the most, I cost the most when it comes to food. But at least the food doesn't rot at home like yours. It doesn't stay there for years and wait for ants to chew on them. And I buy normal food, unlike you, a lifetime worth of pokky. And sweets that you don't eat but put at home.

1. Don't expect me to do everything.
2. Don't expect me to do well in everything just because I do well in many.
3. Don't insult me, I just want a sincere compliment which I should have been given years ago, but still haven't gotten it for my whole life. Fair isn't it?

Dearie's birthday eulogy

2010-10-25T00:06:00.004+08:00

DEDICATION TO JOSHUA MEOW MEOW LEE:D

When I first met you on the 25th September 2010, you were really charming and I couldn’t stop smiling while you were around. When you asked me for my number as you wakled me to the bus, I felt something click between us, and I bet you felt the same way too. 3 days later, on the 28th September 2010, when you told me that you liked me, I didn’t believe it because I didn’t think that a guy like you would like someone like me, especially in such a short time. Two days later, on the 30th September 2010, when you brought me out for our first date, I felt really really happy, and you just made me smile the whole day.
The consecutive days which you brought me out were all great, and they made me wish every moment didn't end. You were the first guy who didn't make me regret going out on a date with you(:
You always made me laugh, and you could always make me smile when I'm down by sending me all those cheesy but super sweet messages.
We don't really see eye to eye much, but you're willing to make compromises with the punishments that you owe me(muahahaha!).
The hugs you give and the kisses you pour make my heart pound. Everyday I wish they wouldn't end, and that you could be with me forever, pouring love on me like I am on you.
It's exactly 1 month since we last met, and I've never regretted a single minute with you. Life brought me this far, and fate brought me to you.
Although I can't spend this special day with you, I want you to know that I love you and I'll always be there for you, full of kisses and hugs and any kind of super sweet stuffs.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEARIE! I LOVE YOU MEOW MEOW!♥

2010-10-22T01:43:00.006+08:00

Muahahahahaha. I know Joshua might kill me for this, but I deserve to post this at least(:

Yesterday was the most horrible day I had with O levels. The practical exam was horrible. No, 2 colourless solutions giving clear dark red solutions do not give any conclusions. Even if it did, we didn't learn it. It's bullshit! Anyway, what's done is done, so we might as well move on for the next exam. ENGLISH~
Physics was unplanned, didn't expect the burette was for the physics paper. I hate the stupid cambridge people, for putting the damn burette on the table, because I couldn't even reach the top without clambering onto a chair and looking like a stupid small kid with a freaking big forehead. Gotta hate them for not putting the burette on the chair instead. Anyway, it sucked. Rather have taken the bio combi paper instead. I heard it was sooooo much easier.

Anyway, I had a great time playing badminton with you two days ago. Really really enjoyed myself(: I had exercise after a month, so all that lactic acid just built up within my body yesterday. Didn't expect to see Arthur there also but it was awesome seeing a close brother after such a long time. But the fun I had was too much to bother about the strain I conjured. I felt so nice with you, holding your hand, walking around like some one was taking care of me. The feeling to be taken care of and feeling that someone was there for me, there to protect me, was so nice. It's been a long time since I felt like that, like I'm not the older one to take care of the people around me. It just feels right to be with you. I love you dearie, and I'm happy just being with you(: It's 3 more days! I'm sad I can't spend that day with you, but I just hope you spend it greatly. Read this blog in 3 days okay! There'll be something here special for you since I can't see you on that day. Or until my exams end anyway. Okay dearie? Since you already blocked me from my MSN and facebook. Which is sorta KILLING ME NOWWWWWW~ But it's for the best of me, that's why I love you(:

I'm up now, trying to go to sleep, but I don't seem to be able to. My head's a little too full of Meow meow now, so I can't really go to bed(: I wanna be hugging him in my bed, snugging him and snogging him through the night. I SUPER miss him, I hate Os, and I really love life(: AWESOME~

2010-10-09T13:16:00.002+08:00

It was the last day of school. I just couldn't bear leaving the school. I wasn't prepared to leave. I was prepared to get out of my comfort zone. I know I'd get to see my friends some times sooner or later. But I just wasn't prepared to leave the school. My life was about to take a new step out of the boundary. I am to feel what I felt 4 years ago. The scared little girl trying to fit in and be who she is. In a whole new world. Which might just take a whole new turn. My friends that I bullshit with are gone, the teachers and staff that I've been with and by my side have left me. I'm on my own. And now I have to face the challenges. To go out and explore, to go out and have fun. But right now, I have to go out and feel my way through this thick black cloud which just covered me. I'm going to be prepared. To go where my results and my heart takes me. I know my friends will still be there for me, but I need to do this on my own. I'll definitely take Mark's advice. I need to pull my heart and my mind together, after separating them for such a long time.

Time to work hard, move on in life, make miracles happen and let the whole world see what you can do! Good luck for the people taking Os! You've got two weeks to change history!:D

2010-10-03T21:30:00.004+08:00

Remember the last time why I told you I'd broken up with you? Because I said these words. YOU ARE IMMATURE. Now can you see why? You commented on my blog, leaving no name, and you think people don't know it's you. Acting strong, you know you're breaking down inside. I don't need to tell you how to feel, you know it yourself. I already said I have no feelings, so why do you want to be the next Jevons? That's just incredibly stupid. Be angry all you want, I don't wish to care anymore. You think the whole world doesn't know? Oh, they all know. They can see my blog, they can see your blog, they can see your facebook and they can definitely see mine. I don't have to waste time on you, you know that too. And I'm not. Because I'm out there enjoying life, making the best of who I am, as I always have been.

I enjoyed my time(: I laughed, I ate, and I just felt happy the whole time. I didn't have to ask for anything, because everything was so nicely planned out. The place, the food, the transport, the comfort. For once, I did not plan anything and I just felt like it was so perfect. And the best part, everything I wanted in a person was right in front of me, giving me the praise of an angel's harp. No craving, no anger, no false truth, romance didn't have to be added in, it just took place on the very spot.

Life is short, and I'm going to make the best out of it. I've only got this long to live, and this period to do what I can. Mum made a point, I'm either gonna care about it or not care about it. So I'll just live my life the way I like it and let nothing else disrupt what I want. And so far, no one has changed that fact(:

2010-09-21T21:52:00.004+08:00

My last day of kayaking was one of the best. Although there were weird feelings, bad students, some I have hoped that would have passed, and some I wish would have shown better attitudes, I loved that period of time in the water. My last day was one of my best, even with out my bestest of friends around, my kayaking clique. It was an awesome day lah, thanks to everyone out there who went back to school tanned. I'm proud of the people who managed to go through those 2 tiring days and went back victorious, it takes real courage to do kayaking.

I guess for the past few times I was too complacent. I always thought I could breeze through it, and in another fact, I made it worse than better. I guess it's time to find some people to help me already. BESTIE, YOU HEAR THAT! I'M GONNA NEED YOUR HELP! I just wanna pass all my subjects except for maybe A maths, and then continue on with life and do well for my other stuff. I have, for the past few months, been in short periods of depression, and I guess no one really knows why except bestie. So I'm just gonna work hard, work really really hard, strive real hard, and then do my best. I know I'm not really gonna do well, but I might as well try. It's hard but I know I can do it.

My dear, like I said, I'm stubborn, I'm a hard-to-change person. I'm stubborn, and if things don't go my way, I'll go screw myself up. When I'm pissed, I'll screw you up. So please don't try to drive me up the wall when I'm pissed. And remember, DON'T ASK ME QUESTIONS~ I'll drive you up the wall and I'll screw you upside down with everyway I can.

I feel screwed up by you. After what happened, I still feel screwed up. Everytime I go there, and when I see you, I just feel that urge of something much worse than adrenalin run through my blood, wanting me to scold you for being such a immature and childish person, even with your age. I really hate it, and it makes me erk, to a point where you deserve to be where you are now. I know you know how I feel right now, because I still feel the same way for some reason.

MY LIFE WILL GO ON A LONG PAUSE FOR NOW, HOPEFULLY, AND RESTART ONLY AFTER MY O LEVELS. I HOPE THE SAME GOES FOR RONALD. English workshop starts tomorrow. Maybe topping the school for english composition was a good thing(:

ALL THE BEST TO PEOPLE OUT THERE! HOPE IS THERE! MY TRUST IS IN YOU!:D KUDOS TO YOU GUYS MAN!

2010-09-01T22:12:00.004+08:00

Written by someone on facebook.

Hahah, curious to know? :P hmm. well i've gotten over it but not completely. if u want to know sms me.. erm i'm worried about ur O levels, please work hard, please concentrate. Don't let anything be a distraction ok? :) i'll be praying for you.I want you to be happy in everything u do. okay? thanks for all you have done for me :) i appreciate it alot. i mean it.

Worried? my ass is worried.
distraction? ohhh, i'm blind lah, can't see distractions.
praying for me? what, that i end up in shit in the future?
appreciate? you're using everything you can against me.
mean it? what means do i have to trust you now? you don't deserve anyone's trust.

I wanna see what happens in future. I really do.

2010-08-31T23:14:00.003+08:00

For the sake of us being together in the past....... YEA RIGHT. IF YOU FUCKING DON'T GIVE A SHIT TO ME WHY SHOULD I GIVE A SHIT TO YOU.
I'm finally standing up for myself...... you're being an arrogant bitch now.
Your sis loves the attention...... I know that stupid. Which girl doesn't like to get surrounded with guys?
I don't care about your feelings...... I know. Since when have you ever cared and when have you even given a shit about it in the past.

Just because you changed doesn't mean you changed for the better. You selfish little arrogant bitch, don't bother trying to say I mean the whole world to you or you miss me or all those bullshit, you know they aren't real. When I'm fighting with you, you make me wanna cry when I get so damn pissed off. You don't deserve my time. And I have every right to be angry. Thanks for wasting my time utterly on trying to make you happy.

2010-08-08T00:16:00.003+08:00

I was so enraged with anger just now that when the guy just puked when I was getting off the bus, I didn't even bother to help him, just being shocked standing there. I was so angry that I totally forgot there was a plastic bag in my hand and I was so reluctant to even shift by a bit to move towards him, instead, moved back. I can't believe I was so blocked with anger that fear came out of me and made me walk even faster away from the bus. The liquor from the smell of the vomit made me remind me of how angry I was. Maybe the guy was just as angry, but only took it out by over drinking. I understood how he felt, but I couldn't believe I just stood there and did nothing.

I can't be ruled over my emotions anymore. I can't be that useless in a situation that my emotions would overcome me in a time of someone's crisis. I can't believe I'm like that. Please slap me. Every intention to help that poor guy was blocked because I was just selfish and thinking about my own emotions and problems. I wish I'd been a better person. I hate myself.

2010-07-28T22:06:00.003+08:00

Maybe I overreacted yesterday. I guess I wasn't feeling well, and my body just wanted to blame the whole world for it. I just wish I could relax and get rid of this damn flu, so I wouldn't feel so bad. Maybe if God just gave me a damn cure for my flu and sorethroat, I wouldn't be cursing away at everything that comes to my mind. I should have been more controlled. I need my discipline back, I just wish I would get it back soon. Just know that I'm sorry. and I feel stupid.

2010-07-28T00:40:00.003+08:00

The more I think, the more I feel like you'd say something bad about everything I say. So I shall just note it down here. I have a bad ass attitude and I don't think anyone would be able to change that. I love myself for who I am. I don't regret what I'm doing. Or what I did. If you wish to blame me, it's totally up to you. I wasn't the one who was going around liking people just for their assets, and staring at them like some weirdo. I wasn't the one walking around with no clothes on and trying to do stuff with me. I'm not the only one who wants to bang my head on the table every time I think about stupid things. I just wished you took things more professionally. Thinking you're a 17 year old, I should have thought twice.

Yes, I am in somewhat the wrong, but I know you wished you didn't do it too. I want to say sorry, but does it look like we talk much anymore? Can't things just return to normal? We can talk, and just be friends. I'll explain everything now then. All things happen for a reason. I did all those, because I had felt something, and you're warm, and welcoming. Of course attraction would happen right? Law of forces proves everything! And if you're thinking why I always wear that kind of clothing, well I like it. I'm like that. I like to be loose, because I sweat a hell lot and I don't like anything covering below my neck. I feel really uncomfortable. And it takes more than just time to change habits which die real hard. It's as hard as asking you not to say the F word. And I like what I wear. Like Vanga said, if you got it, flaunt it. And I'm not sorry to wear what I want. I make my own decisions, and you can dislike it as much as you like. Guess you're just trying to hide the fact that something happened, but you should know that's never going to happen. Running away won't solve anything either. Just to advise you, I mean. I may be young, doesn't mean I'm not as strong mentally. I may be selfish, yes, but I'm trying my hardest not to ruin it for everyone already. I know I made a mistake, but I just want to take a step back so that it doesn't worsen for everyone else.

This is bullshit except for those from WV:D
Written at 1am in the night, with a bottle of johnny walker and memories of...... stuff.

2010-07-24T02:56:00.003+08:00

I guess everyday, I look at my blog, and get too lazy to post anything, because there really isn't anything much to post about. Well, there's the Racial Harmony Day thing, but other than that, there isn't much of anything else. Oh, and if you're thinking why I'm eating noodles and blogging in the early morning, I just can't sleep. I want some company but there doesn't seem to be any. It's ok, I'm fine on my own(:

Racial Harmony Day was quite awesome. No school, plus get to wear costumes:D I was quite happy, what's more, I went to watch Despicable Me at AMK and also met Joseph on the way. Kept talking all kinds of sick crap, which was quite normal every time we met. Made me spend money of them again. But it was worth the time, I guess.

Also, hugs are nice:D Really really nice. I love hugs. And everyone knows that. Hug here and hug there! Loving hugs all the way!

Should I cut my hair? To cut or not to cut, that is the question. It's getting really long and really thick. Or should I just cut it all the way up above my neck? Hmm, it's an option. Or should I just layer? OK, you know what? It doesn't really matter.

And I need to find a song to sing. Any suggestions? Vanga, you can input here also:D and no laughing! For teachers' Day. Hmm, still finding songs. Need help! Gotta submit names by monday.

I NEED TO EXCERSISE! HAVE BEEN EATING TOO MUCH COMFORT FOOD! Should have saved the money instead, for the upcoming stuff that I wanna buy. Anyway, that should be about it. I've been stoning in front of the com for too long, watching glee and online crap that I shouldn't, and waiting for facebook to react to something before I stone to death.

You cheated my feelings

2010-07-11T22:45:00.003+08:00

What am I supposed to feel now? I don't know. Am I supposed to feel, yay, it's not going to cause any more problems? Or am I suppose to feel, shit, it's not going to make anyone happy? Well, I don't know, but I don't want to feel any pain right now, so I'm just going to feel absolutely nothing. Or at least pretend I don't feel anything.

Well, had kayaking today, around Sembawang again. I should really get out of the area for awhile, before I get too attached to the place. I'm going to promanade to kayak soon for the opening of the marina whatever. And I'm so going to enjoy myself.

My urge to do anything has been lost, my will to sleep is gone as insomnia struck, I should have drunk that vodka. I worry, yet I myself am stuck in an emotional shitty position. I always want people to be happy, so is that why I can't stop smiling when I'm still so messed up inside? I've lost the urge for food already, I'm losing a lot more weight than I should be. Taking a lot of things up these few days, and challenging myself, will I still be doing well in school? My brain is mixed, my feelings are pissed, my arms are so willing to punch things right now, just wishing I could find a punching bag.

If I'm still awake later at 2.30, I'll be up watching the world cup. And the person I'd blame for giving me insomnia isn't Jevons le, it's pancake head! And if I really do stay awake, next week, I'M SO GONNA TAU POK HIM! And I just remember I have a test tomorrow. Crap. Nevermind. I had my exercise and I'm happy enough. Hope Hanson is feeling better after today. AND HOLLAND BETTER WIN. OR I'M KILLING SOMEONE TOMORROW IN SCHOOL. BET WITH ME I WILL! After I raise the flag and change out of my uniform. And show off my damn nice arm muscles:D

I'll just get some sleep tonight, I guess. Bring me to sleep. I'm so going to need the sleep, before the insomnia leads through the week. I feel pissed. And I'm so eating a lot of crap tomorrow.

2010-07-07T17:12:00.003+08:00

Ah, i just can't go to sleep
Cause it feels like I've fallen for you
It's getting way too deep
And i know that it's love because

I can't sleep til you're next to me
No i can't live without you no more (without you no more)
Oh i stay up til you're next to me (to me)
Til this house feels like it did before
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah

I found this, and well, the song just got stuck into my head and gave me insomnia. Seems like the fact that I keep forgetting what I want to say on my blog. That is how shitty my memory is. Well, anyway, I've not been sleeping well, cursing the person who took my phone. Well, what I can do, I do. And I'll do without my phone first.

Having obsessions of awesome dancers or dances. Envy people with the ability to dance. They swish here and there with ease, making the passion in your heart burn. Bringing every feeling to push you to move your body to the music, and dream about what you desire all your life. And they remind of every memory you loved. And every moment you enjoyed in your life.

Well, school's been quite insane, I guess. I kept stoning in every period, and fell asleep in bio class. Then I started day dreaming for hours for the whole day, but at least I'm able to answer everything the teacher asks me. Thank God for tuition, if not I would be lost by now. I'm still stoning by the way. Knock me out of my trance for God's sake! I'm totally not thinking right!

I'm not eating right. Is something wrong with me? I'm having stomach aches now and then. I keep having the urge to go running, and also the urge of gyming all the time. There must be something wrong with me totally. But I'm feeling fine, so what's going on? Can someone tell me? I'm still confused in many areas.

Sleep? I'm not feeling sleepy. Work? Can't get myself to do. Eat? I'm not hungry. Talk? There's no one around to talk to. Play? No one to play with. I'm trying to cherish everything around me, but there's nothing to cherish right now. I'm just looking forward to school tomorrow.

Thanks a lot insomnia!

2010-07-05T05:38:00.007+08:00

I could always use a little dash of spice in my life. Haha, my life these few days have been tiring. Firstly, I'll talk backwards. Had kayaking yesterday, from morning to evening. Kenneth Lim Pancake Head accompanied me into the water to train. Capsized soooo many times. Stupid Pancake head. Haha. Anyway, had a lot of fun though. Wish Vanga was there too, to TOW HIM AWAY!!! Anyway, I've met new friends, got a broken middle finger, found out Kenneth was a sicko, and a had a lot a lot of fun. Great day:D

On friday, like I said, I'm moving backwards, my school had ignite. Stupid teacher said stuff about my clothes, so what? And my damn skirt is just below my knee, thank you very much, if you're blind enough to see. And I'm talking about my NCC skirt. Anyway, at least I had a great time during that concert. Slept 13 hours after the concert. Must have been too tired after the first week of school. I still am though. I still can't really balance everything together, but at least I'm trying and at least I'm not degrading. Well, putting everything together, it's been good. I miss you so much darling. SHREK TOMORROW! By the way, I would like to ask everyone to watch A-Team! It's an awesome movie:D

I shall never eat spicy food at Ajisen. Thank you pancake head>.<

Small post to give Vanga some eye candy:D

2010-06-26T23:08:00.003+08:00

This is going to be a short short post(:

Vanga, I know you're reading this, so read on! Rotten bananas take their area in blog stalking.

Anyway, I had a great time today, wasting almost a lot of time trying to do the eskimo roll. Haha, but at least I managed to get it done. Kayaking for the past few days nearly killed me, but what the heck, it's fun, and it'll get me my cert. Making me into miss pomato is stupid, but eye catching.

I emphasise on the ms "pomato" because I look like some retarded potato skinned person, and my face looks like some tomato from annoying orange. Funny colour though, it's really eye catching when you look at yourself in the reflection of the MRT window.

Went for the Installation of St Andrew's Sec, Dunman Sec and Rotaract Club of Marina City after kayaking. Felt so sleepy but at least managed to get back something from the place(: but i felt stupid wasting $20 trying to find the place, going to the same place twice.

Well, I'm home now, I'm tired, I'm going to sleep soon, I wish David all the best to his problems. I'm always that small little girl you can sms your problems to, where I may be to help you with a listening ear, and also when you can PMS on your blog, and I shall be there to read! Don't break down bro. Remember, if you think it's bad, there's always someone else shittier than you.

I'm gonna sleep, goodnight Vanga, goodnight David, goodnight dear Jekjan, goodnight world!:D

2010-06-14T01:09:00.003+08:00

It's a monday early morning, can't say that I'm suffering from insomnia anymore, but just staying up to update everything(:

Well, it's been a great weekend, or shall I say a great week. I talked about the great week already, so I shall emphasise more on the great weekend. This saturday, was Kor kor G's and Jie jie Siska's wedding. Was so beatiful, funny and so romantic. To see them kiss, wah, the whole room sparked. Was wearing formal so was wearing heels, which tried to tear my feet apart, but they're still alive now and super blistered. Argh. It's ok, it was great, the atmosphere was great, and I'm glad to see them having a great time(:

Then on sunday, I woke up to find out that my insomnia was gone and I woke up at twelve plus since the past night. Wonderful!! I finally cured my insomnia. What's more, my darling is back!! Although still suffering from jetlag, I was so happy to hear his voice, OMG, I'M SO HAPPY^^ Anyway, moving on. Although I wasn't really graced to go to his party, Kieron still invited me to his birthday party, which was where I had an awesome time:D The food was magical, the people and I were having so much fun, I beat you in Singstar, HAHA, and I was happy you had such a great time on your birthday. And I gotta say, AMAZING HOUSE YOU HAVE. Marvelous to say. Shocked and amazed I was. If I were you, I'd kowtow to the house everyday. You are not what you seem Kieron Ng. Anyway, first time playing Nerf War, and it was AWESOME!!! I couldn't believe how childish we were, how much fun we were having, how messy the place was filled with bullets. It was so fun, we lost track of time. However, memories will still be there. It was great, and thanks for the party^^

Yeow Boon, I'll continue hitting your head with that gay purple balloon:D

Back to the case, MY DARLING CAME BACK!!! I think that's why the insomnia went away(: I'm so happy, it seems so happening that I've been enjoying the best and worsts of life this week, and it seems so fast and furious, I've been having so much fun. Too much fun till I can't really stop. I wanna get back on track, but it doesn't seem like I am. It's ok anyway, since I have time to relax. I know people are hating me for relaxing and having so much fun, but WHO CARES. Seriously, I wanna tell people out there my friends, especially the BOWERS CLAN, have made my june holidays awesome. It has been awesome my friends, and I'm ready for more awesomeness to come:D

Tuesday I'm totally booked for you dear. I'm so looking forward to meeting you<3 You owe me loads of kisses and hugs, and many pictures also^^ I miss you so so much, and I'm so wanting to kiss you badly.

MONDAY BOWERS MAKAN AT MY HOUSE. ROTI PRATA ON ME:D BOWERS FTW!!!

2010-06-11T01:40:00.003+08:00

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1437189003751&ref=mf

Feels like insomnia, ahahhhhh...., Feels like insomnia, ahahhhh
Lol, after sunday, after that stupid fight, after the stupid idiot who tried to fight thinking he was right, it hit me again. Like after those sleepless nights during November and December. The same reason hit me. I'd agree with Joshua, was it a bad sign? You wouldn't know, neither would I. But it's ok, because this has all been ok with the help of the holidays. The late nights, and late mornings are quite helpful, and the fact that I could always have fun in the afternoon and evening was so awesome. Well, for the people who know, I went to stalk his house. Haha, it's been such a long time before I was this childish. OMG, I really wanted to pour curry into his shoes after looking at those stupid old white track shoes that he wears every single day of his life. Anyway, that wasn't the main point, the main point was that I was finally having so much fun. Thank God that I have friends^^

Anyway, due to the fussy Will. I. Am's request, I shall blog about wednesday. I went out with the BOWERS clan, and had SO MUCH FUN!! Joshua Chan, William Tan, Marcus Foo, Jieyi Tan, Xin Yun Toh made my day awesome:D Daytona and JUBEAT:D Also that sucky DDR. Can die de lor, make me dance so fast. I get As that time don't want video, I getting straight Fs then you guys take until happy happy lor>.< Haha, just reminded me of how that idiot hug girls then become "happy happy" downstairs(: Anyway, it was a great day, had fun playing rockband at MF's house, then went for tuition>.< AWESOMEST HOLIDAYS!! THANKS BOWERS(:

My darlingest Tan Jekjan, I hope you're coming back soon darling^^ I'm waiting for you to come back from Germany soon. I'm missing you so badly. I want you in my arms right now. I love you darling, I want you to come back into my arms so much. I want to kiss you a lot right now. I miss you darling, please come back soon>.<

2010-06-07T01:17:00.003+08:00

Yes, I had a great day just now. A really great day. Like today was a fairy tale(: until that stupid idiot had to come ruin my day. I was just online with my friends, Nick Soo, William and Joshua. Then when I was just going to go sleep, you have to come fight and get defensive. For the reason I put your name on facebook. I get it. But what the hell have you to do? When I'm just saying like there was just a girl with your name, does it have anything to do with you? When I said I knew a lot about you, was it a crime? When we got out of each others' life, didn't we agree that we wouldn't bother about each other? What has some other person of a different gender with the same name have to do with you? Just get off of my back, loser with no life. I live my life, you live yours. I have freedom of speech, so do you. You can say whatever you want in school, I can say whatever I want online. Fine? If not, too bad. What I do has nothing to do with you anymore, so don't even bother asking me why I did this or that to get attention. I get attention from my friends, even if you like it or not. I don't need to seek attention you moron, you do. Get defensive over stupid things. Smart guy my ass. Blog dedicated to cursing that stupid Dooa. For once be a freaking man and pay attention to the correct things lah.

Lastly, JEVONS DOOA, I DON'T CARE IF YOU SEE THIS OR NOT. GET OUT OF MY LIFE. I SAY WHAT I WANT, DO WHAT I WANT, AND IF YOU WANT TO SUE ME, HIT ME, CONFRONT ME, DARE ME, SHOUT AT ME, EFF OFF. YOU'RE JUST SOME SMALL KID.

Anyway, I had a great time today(: Thank you Joshua for inviting me^^ I really wish I could wish last night never ended(: Thanks for letting me make new friends, to have fun all night, and not get drunk on the way^^ The music was great, the atmosphere was great, the people were great(:

I miss you darling, come back soon ok?^^

2010-06-04T21:25:00.003+08:00

I guess sleep does help to kill pain and anger. I'll explain it later in my post.

I sent Jekjan to Germany already. Sad to see him leave, but at least I hope he has a good time there. I'm missing him really badly though. I want him to take pictures, have fun, learn new things and have a great time. All the best darling!! God protect him.

Anyway, back to pain and anger. Well. One reason for pain. RASHES!!! For quite a few days. Yes, they make me feel ugly and untamed. It makes me feel so damn dirty. Worse than not showering after kayaking. Well, hope they end soon. Having to drink ginger water and bathing in dettol washing "detergent". Cool way to solve rashes by burning away the spots.

Anger. Not really anger bah, but it made me really unhappy. I shall explain. I don't like it when you asked me to go swimming with you. At Tampines. I was fine with it, and looking forward to it actually. Due to the fact that I needed the exercise and I didn't want to be alone. What's more, to see an old friend makes me feel nice. No guy changes his mind that slowly. Apparently, you should know that it's not nice to ask me out and then change your mind so directly, after I walked all the way to the bus stop and changed. Gosh, I just wanted to swim. That's all. MJJ, you did not make my day.

Secondly, Joseph. I don't care who you put first in your line of family, but clearly I don't seem to be anywhere near the top. So forget about saying sorry and saying "I don't know" when I ask you what you are gonna do. If you don't want to piss other people off, I'm fine with it. But when you piss me off to make other people happy, I won't forgive you. I won't forgive you for the fact that you smoke. I won't forgive you for the fact that you keep wanting to have sex with girls. I won't forgive you for making me feel so damn guilty for everything. Forget about me and move on. So stop telling me I'm your mei mei and shit. I'm not happy, so eff off.

PMS just ended yesterday. And I'm still getting pissed today. Is something wrong with me or is this world trying to drive me nuts and piss me off? Seriously, guys nowadays are just out to confuse and make girls nuts. Darling, I want you to come back soon. I want you to hug me, because I miss you.

"Honestly, you're too attractive for me" ~quoted by Joel M.
THIS IS TOTALLY BULLSHIT. I AM NOT ATTRACTIVE, AND I KNOW THAT WELL ENOUGH.

2010-05-31T02:11:00.003+08:00

Hmm, it's been a long time since I blogged. Well, it's been a messy month. Exams after exams. At least I'm improving from an L1R4 of 35 to 30, it's quite a good jump, I guess.

I've been thinking, of all the times I got angry. I posted the feelings I had on my blog. Then I thought about the things I think after I got angry. I'd feel sad for myself, because getting angry about these things weren't really smart. Even if I didn't want to angry, I still was, like any other human would be. Thinking back, I feel stupid again. Like I was that small little child, only doing things that would make me happy. I guess I'm still like that now. Thinking about myself all the time, thinking that everything was a part of me, and that I owned everything. I'm still like that, an ignorant small child. I just wanna stay like that. I'm still small, I just want to be ignorant to everything again. To have that blur mind set. But it's just not going to come back, is it.

Well, kayaking yesterday was fun. I had a great time. And Tricia was so funny when she got drunk and capsized. It was so funny, like a small child trying to climb up a boat. haha. funny:D

Good luck for all those taking O level MT paper tomorrow. THANK YOU CLB!!!

Dear, I miss you:(

2010-05-15T22:47:00.004+08:00

When I'm upset, I just need time.
When I'm crying, don't ask why or tell me not to cry, I won't listen.
When I want you to listen, I just want you to.
When I don't reply with heart shapes, you know I'm not right.
As important as she is to you, everyone else is to me.
I'm sensitive, way more than you can imagine.
I forgive people like they deserve the second chance.
I just hate hating people.
Crying has become a norm after I found you.
I don't like you stubborn, I want to teach you.
And I want you to listen.

2010-05-04T00:56:00.004+08:00

I hate to do it, but it breaks my heart to see me break yours. I'm attached, and I love him. Please understand how much you like me will never amount to that. You're a really nice person, but I don't wish to see you get hurt.

Anyway, let's not start it off on a bad note. Yes, MYEs are coming and we're all getting prepared. Textbooks are coming out, and we are studying our asses off. Tutors have been called up to help, which are awesome because they really help a lot. Friends are good references to help aid any subject. All we wanna do is do well and finish up the stupid O levels. And after that slack our asses off for the next 4 months while waiting for the rest to catch up on work. So while I finish off, I'll help JJ with his work and the rest of my younger friends.

Work, I'm going to attack you tomorrow. Give me your best target, and I'm going to hit that for you.

Darling, it's only been a few days and I miss you like crazy already. I hate your mum for not letting us meet, and that we can't meet due to the stupid exams. I miss you so bloody much that I have to keep my phone away just not to think of you, but I still reluctantly do. I wanna give you a good life, I want us to breeze through this difficult period together. After all these bullshit and a few years down the road, I wanna baby. And I want to make it with you. Darling, I love you so much. I will die if you ever left me, and I'd give up everything for you. I love you.

Yes, people, I would like to note that I'm a little cold hearted. No one is perfect in this world, especially me. I would like to tell the whole world that. And things done repetitively are meaningless and hurtless by the 3rd time. I can always forgive, but I can never forget.

And David, girls may be hot, but not all of them can make boys hard. I can bet with you on that. And good luck for your H1 papers(: they're tough, I can see.

I miss my darling<3

I'll love you forever

2010-04-04T12:05:00.003+08:00

I'm just blogging because everyone including my darling is going for shao mu. And all 4 grandparents are still alive, so I don't need to go shao mu, thank goodness. But it's so boring now.

I'm so enjoying myself for this whole weekend. I'm having a holy great time with friends right now. And especially with my darling Jekjan^^

Friday was one of the most memorable days of my life I've ever had. If only it could re-run my whole life time. The 5 packets of maggie mee and bottles of green tea was awesome. I wish you would come and hug me from the back so much. It makes me feel so loved. I love you so much darling. I trust you 100%. I'll do whatever you want me to do. I love you too much to care about anything and anyone else. I just want to love you forever.

I wish food came in buckets and trays then in small plates and platters. It's just too little. Although I've been gaining weight, I'M STILL HUNGRY!!!!!

I love food, but I love you more my future husband^^

It's been a great day(:

2010-03-27T17:12:00.006+08:00

Ok..... I was asked to post something about the camp so might as well do it now.

Firstly, I'd like to thank the Rotarians for allowing me to go for the camp even though I submitted the form late due to my trip to Malaysia.
I was placed with a group of great people, and we were called Ureka. The word Eureka meant that we did it and that we succeeded. My team was made out of me, Hilary, Ian, Lynn, Jovy, Chloe, Sylvia, Yan Hui, Jia En, Yuliz, Zixin and yes, TIMOTHY!!!! Everyone came from diverse backgrounds and we were so friendly to each other during the camp. We were very open minded and we worked together as a team. Although there were many things that we couldn't beat the other teams, we were still able to do our best as a team. And as a team, we won the 2nd place for the camp. Wonderful job, Ureka! One thing I noticed, was that our team was filled with people who didn't like to stand out from the crowd. But as we worked as a team, we stood out together, and we stood side by side. Our team, led by Mentor Murni, the District Governor's daughter, was also by our side. On the last day, we celebrated by giving her a piece of our prize of 2nd place. After the 3 days of fun, it was time to say goodbye to our friends. Many bonds were made and it was just a splendid moment for us. RYLA was definitely a life changing moment for us. My friends from Malacca, Brunei, Mersing, Brunei and also India, I would like to thank you guys for making this a really great time for me. Go Ureka!!!

Ok, after this post, it's back to the old stuff. I miss my darling so so much!!! I wanna hug him and love him and kiss him like crazy!!! Miss you loads darling<3 Everything will get better, I promise>.< I love you my darling.

I love you so much

2010-03-22T21:30:00.002+08:00

I did this drawing when I was bored and you gave me inspiration to draw something^^ Did this in maths class and still could catch everything the teacher said(:

Bad results for common test. not good. gotta buck up.

LOOKING FORWARD TO TOMORROW SO MUCH!!! GOING TO SEE MY BABY<3

everyone's asking when the question's going to pop out of your mouth>.< i'm eager also.

I love you darling^^

2010-03-19T10:56:00.004+08:00

I love you so so much. I just wish we could keep doing it all over and over again. I wish we could get even closer. Everyone's asking when the question will come out>.< I love you so much, I'll stay with you no matter what. The feeling that I get when I'm with you is just too much to explain with words. The bench just left great memories, and I'll never forget them. I love you so so much. I will forever be with you, I'll never regret being with you, even though I'm older and everything. I'm not confused anymore. All I want to do is just to be with you and be beside you. I love you so much, and I miss you so so much. I don't want you to be confused just because of me. I just love you so so much.

I LOVE YOU J ♥

Tomorrow's the day!

2010-03-16T21:46:00.004+08:00

I just came back from my trip in Malaysia. It was just awesome. I feel a little blur, having not touch my computer for quite a long time. My fingers are still taking awhile to adapt. Using this blog to catch up and also talk about past few days. Had loads of fun at malaysia, and the class bonding really got together real great. I had loads of great fun and enjoyed myself like crazy. At the same time, I kept missing Jekjan>.< Let's recap:

1. good naps on the bus.
2. great boat ride at the Orang Asli settlement.
3. good rest at the hotels.
4. great food everywhere.
5. rock cliffs were memories brought back.
6. waterfall was awesome!!!
7. Batik place was quite cool(:
8. Forest Research Intstitute of Malaysia(FRIM) was also quite cool.
9. Good Samaritan Home made me cry!
10. Beautiful scenery all around.
11. Great shopping places.
12. Great friends and people around.

these 12 things just made the trip all worth while.

I miss you so much when I went there you know>.< Missed all the times when we hugged and played with each other. Looking forward to tomorrow so much!! I'm really not playing with anyone's feelings, what I say and feel are true. I'd be a real bastard to say that I was lying. That feeling just keeps coming back every time I see your face on my mind. I love you so much. I don't know what I'd do without you. I love you so much.

For those people who sang at the Good Samaritan Home, the link below may show you how much this means to the people who need your support and help.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwrkGtjj8b4&feature=fvst

I ♥ J FOREVER!!!

LOVES LOADS!!

2010-03-07T00:45:00.002+08:00

I ♥ J!!!

I love Jekjan so much!!! I know you're in much pain now, and I'm really sorry to be the source of it. I love your hugs and your cute little smiles, your funny reactions and also the sound of your voice everyday=3 Love you so much!!

Exams this week man!! Killer!! Hope I can go through it easily, and breeze through it. Everything has been quite harsh to me, and I hope it'll be better. 3 more days!!! ENDURE!!!

Freestyle was awesome dudes. And I hate blogger for having to keep changing the stupid emails that my last post was totally deleted. ARGH!!! HOHOHO!!! Great work everybody(:

Hope this hell ends soon(: Miss him so much already. Wish he was just here so I could hug him a little longer this time(: I love you Jekjan^^

many secrets. i just can't tell you J. sorry>.<

2010-02-14T10:13:00.005+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day everyone. Well, the gifts were all delivered already, and I thank all my friends that made friday such a wonderful day for me. In school, I received love from my classmates, my older brothers and many more people, even the teachers. I appreciated your love, knowing that I'll always stand by you guys as you have stood by me. Meeting my primary school teacher, Mr Chew, after such a long time is great. A little confession would be that I got 2 oranges for him, each costing only 35 cents. Too bad he's moved from Nan Chiau Primary School, to North View Primary. No matter what, he's still my teacher and my favourite. Well, hope his day was fine.

The concert at night was awesome(: People had fun, I had so much fun, and well, Marist teachers are just amazing. Didn't expect them to do these kind of things. Just for the students. Shocked. Wish I had teachers like that. Headed home with Jekjan and some of his friends. Gave him his presents and had some jokes with him. So cute!! Yes, I'm quite sure the idiot is cursing me now, for not giving him a good valentine's. Know why? Some guy who broke my heart ain't deserving enough to get a good valentine's. FROM ANYONE(:

Anyway, I'm still pissed. It's valentine's day. First call. Rejected. Second call. Bye was all I heard. Nice? I'm being not nice anymore. It's not going to work out. Not like that again. Not what happened on 14/02/2008. I've had enough. Even if you got me something for valentine's, it's not going to be mine if you don't meet me. You're not meeting my expectations again, and you know how I feel about it. And your blog. It's pissing me off to the core.

Well, I hope everyone else enjoys their New Year and Valentine's. Don't be like me(:

TGIM

2010-02-08T00:50:00.006+08:00

Maybe right now, what can put me at peace, would be a good explanation, a hug, maybe a kiss, and just giving my mind a mouth for 20 seconds. It would make me happy for quite a while. Why does everyone ask this question, not that I mind you guys asking. It's because I have such a problem telling you the answer.

"How's you're boyfriend?"
"Haven't seen him in a long while, he doesn't pick up my calls, and also rejects them, doesn't take me seriously, only GIRLS go to his blog, he didn't link me after the 2 months, but other girls are linked already, lying like I'm some FumbDuck, and thinking I don't know. Ain't that good bah bro. I'm just being lenient right now."
"Thank God it will last till valentine's only."
"That's because I'm giving him till valentine's. Does it look like I'm going to wait? No."

Thank God there are comedies on youtube to make me so much happier right now. And also fun people like Jekjan and Joshua to talk to me to keep me company. Life sucks? Damn hell of course. Good thing not many read my blog. Except David. My words can hurt. Seriously. Enough guys crying. Who knew people like that are quite unaware.

Unaware: dumb and not emotionally strong enough to see from another perspective fast enough.

If you're trying to get what I mean, read the book called "Right-brained Children in a Left-brained world", written by Jeffrey Freed, M.A.T., and Laurie Parsons. Good book.

For the far off mature kind, read "Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar...", written by Thomas Cathcart & Daniel Klein. Also a really good book, if you get what it means fast.

To end it off, valentine's day, a failure? Maybe so. You know what happens, and you know what will happen. Either that, you're dreaming too big.

@Mdm Leck: An expected distinction for English is tough. Give me a lot of help. I want to earn it. A1, and I swear I'm not going to fail you.

[I feel evil for some reason, even though I'm so adorably innocent.]

get the hell away from me.

2010-02-01T16:47:00.003+08:00

I just have a few words to say to that bitch. DON'T YOU DARE COME INTO MY LIFE AND MESS THINGS UP JUST BECAUSE YOUR BOYFRIEND IS A COMPLAIN KING. IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT HE IS AN ASSHOLE, IT'S THAT HE'S JUST A DUMB ASSHOLE WHO DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE BUT HIMSELF. DON'T THINK I'M RIGHT? LAST OVER 2 MONTHS WITH HIM, I'LL SEE HOW YOU MAKE IT THROUGH. AND DAMN, I'M THE ONE WITH THE EXPERIENCE AND EVERYTHING. DON'T COME IN, ADD ALL MY BROTHERS AND FRIENDS AND THINK THEY'RE YOUR FRIENDS JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE NICE TO YOU. DON'T BE A STUPID GIRL AND THINK JUST BECAUSE HE'S YOUR BOYFRIEND YOU CAN GO AROUND BITCHING TO HIS EX. WHAT CRAP YOU DON'T KNOW, DON'T GUESS AND SAY. I MAY BE SUFFERING RIGHT NOW, BUT DON'T YOU THINK I HAVE A SAY? DO YOU THINK IT WAS SO EASY TO STAY BY HIS SIDE FOR SUCH A LONG TIME? HIS KAO BEI ATTITUDE MAKES ME SAVE HIS ASS ALL THE TIME. I JUST WANT TO SEE HOW LONG YOU GUYS WILL LAST. SEE WHO GETS THE LAST LAUGH WHEN YOU THINK YOU WANNA SAY ALL THIS SHIT TO ME NOW. I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU, SO WHY COME MESS AROUND WITH ME? I DO YOU THE FAVOR IN STAYING AWAY FROM YOUR BOYFRIEND, SO CAN YOU DO ME THE FAVOR OF STAYING AWAY FROM ME? YOU WANNA FIGHT? I DON'T MIND. SERIOUSLY. IT'S TOTALLY FINE WITH ME. I MAY BE PROUD, BUT AT LEAST I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. DO YOU? DON'T MESS WITH ME. YOU DON'T WANT TO PLAY AROUND.

Jekjan's birthday is coming soon(: dream about your gift^^

For you know who: You're seriously not meeting my expectations. Do not keep on cancelling things last minute. It's pissing me off now. I may be lenient now, but it's not going to last very long. I know I may look ok, but it's not going to last much. Seriously. School ain't good already. Don't make things worse. I know you are habouring a lot of secrets, but just tell me. It's not like I'm going to eat you up or something. Your standard wasn't what I expected. Be a little better. That's all I ask. I didn't ask for the best, just ample. Don't get it? Ask me personally.

I' M WAITING FOR "V" DAY(:

What should I say?

2010-01-29T04:52:00.000+08:00

It has been quite a long time since I put up a post. So I'm going to do one now. Well, Valentine's day is coming close, and I'm really looking forward to it. For many guys, this is a good day, because you'll be getting something from me. Especially my cute little Jekjan, because your birthday is coming, so you'll be getting 2!! Yays!! Also, I'm expecting something also, I hope. I'm not the only girl in the world. I haven't gotten anything for Valentine's day for my whole life, so I hope this year is different.

Also, I was hoping to post some pictures on my blog about Justin's birthday chalet. It was AWESOME. Anyone who wants the pictures, I already tagged. And you can go check it out on his facebook or mine. It was totally awesome. When we went to Wild wild wet, it was totally fun. It may only be my second time in, but it was totally fun. It was really memorable.

I'm catching up in school also, for the first month of school, it ain't that bad, to be able to catch up that fast. I shall listen to Arthur and get my time right. Oh, and Arthur shocked me with his dance. AWESOME. I was like WOW. And the people were really funny. And I was sitting there observing you guys, so I wasn't bored, don't worry kor^^ Great that you got into Temasek^^

Also, I have noticed many of my friends aren't going through nice times, even if I can't see it happening. I was awakened just today when Lisa was talking to me. I mean, it isn't fair of me to concern myself only to the parts obvious to me. I should be concerning myself to the non obvious, because it's what matters the most, because it's what people are hiding, to make sure you can't see their tears. I may be really kaypo about other people, but it's really because I want to know because I care. I want people to open up, not close up. I wish people would talk more and say more so that we might worry less and be more secure and close to each other. I just want everyone to be happy, that's all.

Am I really to bothered about others that I don't wish to bother about myself? Should I stop? I can't get myself to. Maybe I'll just continue till I piss people off. You never know if a listening ear helps.

And I don't get something. How come people who don't care about those around them, can care so much about celebrities? About how they look? But can't see anything right in their face which needs help? It's really stupid, and I can't believe there are so many of them in this world. Knowing some people like that, I don't get it. All of them are really jerks in life, but what can I do? Sit and wait. But it's ok. Idols are ok, but obsessive over a celebrity is stupid. Good for the celeb though, but it's just dumb. But nevermind, I don't want to care about guys who are dumb. Because they're just dumb(:

I have one last thing to say to everyone, and maybe some people should apply it.STANDARDS STANDARDS STANDARDS.
Meet them.

We love getting waken up by your sister at 2.30 in the morning and being unable to go back to sleep.

Afraid I guess?

2010-01-12T00:00:00.003+08:00

cute pic^^ Zheng Hong will love it.

Well, I've been reading through my past posts. Never noticed it has all been about me. Ben was somewhat caring much more about the ones around him. I have been in many mood swings and also a lot of problems. But I haven't really noticed, are the people around me having more or less problems then me? Are their well being ok? Or are they suffering around? We're fortunate, so why not take it as a gift or a blessing or luck that we're all healthy, we're all doing well, in our own ways, and that life ain't that bad?

At least I know a few of my problems are getting fixed on their own. Like the stupid problems that mess my time table up. The study thing, still getting fixed. Not confirmed whether I'll do well this year. My basis for last year was really weak. Going into mugging mode soon. Need loads of help. Had a good inspiration to buck up, after the scores for O's came out for school.

Btw, Joseph, remember our deal. He'll break up 2 weeks tops. I'm certain, no need confirmation. I've been with him long enough to know(:

Anyway, this next comment, I hope won't insult or make you feel uncomfortable, Ben Wong. As you know, the both of you, YS and JK, he looks sooooo much like my ex. It's a chore to not like him. You know what the feeling's like right? And he's got lots of good traits, so it's hard to not like you. It's lucky I'm used to being around guys, so it ain't that hard to resist. A random question: Are you afraid of falling in love? It would be a good topic to start a conversation on. I mean seriously, boys getting heart broken, girls getting heart broken, the drama replays on and on. It's usual to see it, but it's how people react. And since we're born with our own emotions, we can't really change to suit others much. I can feel lots of pain while you can easily numb it off by playing around with another person's feelings.

People are all different. But the bad thing is that everyone is treated the same. I mean fairness plays a part too, but what about the minority who are having difficulties? We're faced with the same situations that don't put us in a good place. Giving some good leeway for the different or unique would help us so much more, if only the world knew. Change for the better, not because it's the best for you, but for those that need your help so much more than you can offer.

I guess I should stop before I sink my post in words. Seriously, take me seriously, unless you find that some things don't make you feel comfortable. And I just changed my blog recently, so the cbox might take a while to load and the rest are still taking some time.

Well, that's all I have to say. Oh, and the school locker sucks.

We love hugging DAVE!!!

New Year, New Life

2010-01-01T20:44:00.002+08:00

Yes, it's the next decade. I at least had a fun time with my friends before the decade ended. But not so much when it striked 12 midnight. Bad day at home. Wish we all had the money to continue the night through. Sad we couldn't though. Well, let's see the good stuff that passed. Ben created a blog, AWESOME(: My problems have yet not been solved, but at least I know I have friends around me who care about me loads. And I managed to send HAPPY NEW YEAR to all my facebook friends. AWESOME(: And I'm getting over stupid stuff that kept my life backwards. AWESOME(:

Anyway, I'm just going to make some resolutions for the next year onwards, but they'll only be temporary because I don't really know what to wish for now.

1. Get at least all passes in my O's.

2. Get my life scheduled back in order, if not it's going to kill me.

3. Score at least passes during term 1 to get back on my feet so that I can finish my Interact Club nicely.

4. Get my beautiful dark chocolate brown hair back so that I'll be happy with myself again.

5. Save enough money to buy a trumpet by november for my own present to celebrate.

6. Eat lesser carbohydrates, because I'm already underweight and still fat>.<

7. Get some proper sleep, even if Chem is a lullaby class and staying up late to help people with their life situations have to be minimised.

8. Create a story. About all of us. Devoting in it all my memories(:

9. Naval Diving Unit!!!

10. Grow just a little taller? Even if it's impossible? God help me??

Anyways, just hope that I can fulfill all these, and hope I have the perseverance to do well. I also don't want relationship problems to crop up that it makes me worry, like the past 2 years that killed my exams real bad. NCC has gotta wait a little more this time. I can't cope so much, but I really want my Master's. I deserve it. And I gotta tell more stories to Ben WOO!!. Because he can learn new things about other people. It's good. And plus, he can teach me bio. That's good.

Well, the next story I'll talk about is about a Thankful Attitude. That's all about it. First day of school was killer. Mr Sia ain't around anymore. WOOTS!! Well, I'll just be happy with what I have now. School looks like shit, and I hate homeroom, even though I think the teachers deserve it. Ok, I'll be going to sleep soon, I guess, before insomnia hits tomorrow.

We love "JELLY AND DOGS" the movie!!

Christmas Eve Sucks?

2009-12-24T23:53:00.002+08:00

Can I just say that christmas eve sucks a big time, even though it's a good day? I hate it to the core. Especially with my family. I hate spending time with them. I shall list out why...

1. My asshole brother is saying stuff about me, making me damn angry, and just because my brother is an asshole monk, everybody must give way. Assholes. Damn idiotic. And it's not like no one gets hurt emotionally.

2. My sis acts like she's some queen. She needs all the attention. Like "Oh, I'm the oldest. So I must get all the damn bloody respect around. I get to be extra to my siblings." Shitty.

3. My parents think it's so bloody easy just to take all the bullshit from my siblings. Think it's so easy to live with it for the rest of my life? Think again.

4. Damn bloody ass father. So what if you're angry? Don't you think I'm angry too? I don't stay around because you'll scold me, and I'll still get scolded because I'm not around. Damn bloody give me some respect. I'm trying my best and you still think I'm not reaching expectations. Bloody, give me some time. I'm the bloody child you always scold for the tiniest thing ever. Shitty.

5. Hate the stress, pain, anger, and shit given by the family. Wish to escape the house whenever possible. Then hate the fact that I can't get out of the house. Even going out with friends is so bloody hard.

6. Still suffering from the damn depression some guy sent to me by making me feel so damn broken-hearted. So I can't even concentrate on my work, gaining weight is a everyday thing, and it's damn bloody obvious and I feel that I'm not being fair to Dickson because of this. Hate all this bullshit, seriously. But who really cares? Only those smart enough to see. So I'm standing alone is this, I guess.

7. Can't really say I hate this, but I just hate the fact, I guess. My boyfriend is like a noob in a relationship, but I shan't ask for much, since I agreed and this is his first relationship. So I'll just take it slow.

8. Hate the fact that my sis keeps calling me a hostess for wearing a mini skirt while she jumps around in short skirts and pants every day of her life. Bitch.

The good news comes now...

1. I super uber love the earphones my aunt, grandfather and grandmother gave me. Will love it a lot.

2. Finally got a proper school bag(:

3. Got a new pencil case.

4. Going out to find people to celebrate christmas tomorrow, just to make myself happy(:

That's about it, I guess. Hope it'll be a better day tomorrow. Hate to stay home.

Anyway... MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE^^

An Apology Letter

2009-12-17T18:19:00.002+08:00

This is to all those people out there whom I'm venting my anger on. I'm sorry, if I made you feel unhappy or anything, but I just want you to know that I'm emotionally still unstable now after a recent accident of mine. I still am the same happy laughing girl who goes around smiling, but now I'm hiding a face which is still crying on the inside. Those who know about it, please don't probe. Does who don't, I suggest you stay away from me until next year. Then I'll be able to hide fully. For people like Dave, thanks for being there for me when I needed you. And for Justin, Yee Seng, and the rest of the friends, I thank you for being there just for me. It's really nice to have such good friends. Zheng Hong, my son, I have to thank you for making me laugh a lot. And some credit also goes to Arnol. I love all you Maris people. If I'm acting up again or getting angry at you quickly, please stop me ok? Don't hesitate to stop me. Please and Thank you(:

This is for the guy which I can't stop thinking about

2009-11-19T13:18:00.004+08:00

I'm damn obsessed now..... WHAT SHOULD I DO??? And I can't bear waiting for so long. I'm hurting inside real bad right now.......
...
What should I do now? I've fallen in love with Jevons that it actually hurts to see that he doesn't talk to me much or hasn't even asked me the question. I really enjoyed the chalet a lot and I really enjoyed my time with you a lot, but I didn't succeed in what I was hoping for. I just wish you wouldn't have to drag this so long. Justin was by my side trying to help you get over all this confusion, but it seems like it didn't work and is also making me confused as well. I just want this pain to somehow stop, and that I could just spend time with you like during the chalet. And that I could hold your hand and walk around freely and to kiss anywhere we wanted to, not just under the blanket. I want these moments to rerun, except that the question would just pop out and it would be the end of all this confusion. I just want a clear confirmation. Because I've fallen in love with you and I can't stop thinking about you. I sound really desperate, and I am, but I just can't help it because this is how I feel about you. If you feel uncomfortable with it, you could always say so and I'll back off. All I just want is that you would be comfortable with what you are now and that I do not want to be a burden to you.
...
thanks to justin, I managed to get this close. I just want to go a little more closer.

Words of advice

2009-11-11T21:01:00.002+08:00

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT ME. I DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT HOW YOU BITCH ABOUT ME. I'M NOT AFFECTED, NEITHER IS ANYONE ELSE EXCEPT YOU. I DON'T CARE IF YOU THINK I'M A SLUT OF ANY KIND, BUT WHO REALLY CARES. I'M JUST AN AVERAGE GIRL, SO WHY CAN'T GUYS JUST LIKE ME? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ALWAYS FEELS INSECURE ABOUT EVERYTHING, INCLUDING YOURSELF. FOR ONCE, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. DON'T BE AN IDIOT ANYMORE.

You should at least know it hurts

2009-11-01T23:24:00.003+08:00

I know some people, after reading this post, is going to say, "haha, serves you right" or "I already told you" or "there it goes again". Well, say all you want. You people know that everybody will get upset some time.

Please, only the one who's suppose to read this, please read it. You know who you are.

I wrote those things on my pm, thinking that you would at least know how I feel. I say I want to make myself happy, it's because I don't want to be dragged down by you. I know you feel upset too, but don't you think I'm also really upset because of you? I smsed you on your birthday, at least hoping for a reply. Or even a call from a pay phone or something. I hated the feeling when you don't want to talk to me or you just run away without telling me everything. And I really hated it when you lied to me. I don't want you to be pulled down by your parents all the time. You don't even dare to talk to me online. You don't even say good morning or anything. You just scold me upfront. Do you think I wanted all this? The moment you look at me, your face just turns black. You know that I love you. Yet you don't even dare to say you love me. I don't know whether if you're with another girl or what, but you don't know how much it hurts when you don't even sms me for the past week. Or even talk to me online. Everyone knows who you are to me. You might not trust them, but you should at least know that they've been there for you all these time. You just don't bloody care.

You don't care if I cried because you called me a bitch. You don't care if I cried because you just said sorry and I had to forgive you because you are you. You don't care if I hated the fact that your parents hold me back from being with you. So what do you care about? You care about yourself. Only you. And your so called future. For yourself. I just want my future to be at least about you, or at least with other people. Why can't you at least do just that? You would give me up for your future, and you would give me up just for the sake of keeping your parents happy. I have been giving and giving in this relationship, so why can't you just do the same? For God's sake, I don't even get to talk to you face to face. So why can't you just be a man and just do something about it? I don't want to keep on getting hurt. I've gotten so used to it that I cry 4 times more than I ever did in my whole life. I just want you to love me, and prove to everyone that you love me. For once, make the effort. You don't even make the effort to get away from your parents just to be with me. Please, just do it for my sake. You used to do it, so why can't you do it now? You used to say "I love you", why can't you do it now?

Just do it once more for me. It won't cost you anything.

Well, kayaking was so bloody fun with the twins, ginseng, shit, Sam, Justinki, and the handsome medic. Going to hold a bowling one soon. Call all to join. Best fun we'll ever have. Oh, and by the way, my camera is dead gone and never coming back, so let's pray it'll go to heaven and all the pictures we took be stuck in our memories forever(:

58.jpg

2009-11-01T09:57:00.001+08:00

Click here to view these pictures larger

2009-09-12T14:03:00.000+08:00

Sorry guys for such a late posting. Was too tired and too bored to update my blog. Well, the sad days are now supposedly gone, but I'm now stuck at home to allow my friend to pass her exam. Ask me personally if you want to know why I'm grounded until so badly. If you want to know the obvious truth, just look at it on my head. Anyways, the previous post IS the previous post. I've gotten over it, so don't worry, I'll just be the happy, irritating girl I used to be. Moreover, I'll be studying, which is OMG something you won't see every day? Anyways, I've cleared up my stuff. After this short short holiday, I want to get better results(hopefully...). Then most likely going to take up dancing at Lina's church. Not, counting last week and this week. Going to take some time to rest now and then, and get some stuff done.

Hopefully you'll quit smoking. I hate smokers, I told you, and I'm being really really lenient already. One stick a day, maximum. No more. Hopefully less.

If you really cared for me you wouldn't so this

2009-08-26T20:03:00.000+08:00

I gave up so much for you. I love you so much. I thought you cared about how I felt. Why must you do this to me? Don't listen to stupid people who tell you the wrong things. I can't believe you're able to just let me go like that. You don't really know how I feel right? You don't know how much pain I'm going through, how many days and nights I've been crying just to make you think twice. It hurts me right now and I don't want to hurt so much anymore. I love you. I don't want to seperate from you. You're so harsh to me don't you know that? And do you know how hurt I felt when you said all this on our anniversary? And that you would rather go to Natalie instead of me. Don't bother asking if I'm alright. Because you won't even say good morning or goodnight to me. I wish I could say that I'm fine without you, but I'm just suffering so much depression whether I liked it or not. You don't even have the balls to see me. If you love me, you would atleast say sorry. I don't know if I can suffer one over year just to wait for you. It hurts me enough already now, and it'll continue hurting until you think things over. I can't believe you would just leave me like that. If you love me, you would change your mind. Or I'll really take things into my own hands.
...
I DON'T WANT TO KEEP ON CRYING EVERY NIGHT JUST TO KNOW YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE.

I hate to say this but I have to, my dear

2009-08-16T21:09:00.001+08:00

I'm really sorry to have to say this but it's what's hurting me most. I'm also sorry to say this to my honey but I've really got to let it out. Please read it. I'm sorry if I'm going to be very long winded.
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I'm just so upset with you now. I know it's unfair for me to say so but I really feel like I've given up almost everything in my life for you. And it's like you don't even dare to give up anything for me. I hate that. And it just hurts. Everyone thinks that you're you, that's why you are so unemotional and dense. Or maybe just plain stupid. I just feel like you aren't willing enough to give up anything to be with me. When you asked for webcam, I went online and just so I could talk to you. But you just told me the next moment that you couldn't talk. And for what? So that you could think of something that you wouldn't tell me.
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You told me that I could tell you anything. I did tell you everything. I'm even able to let you go so much deeper into me than anyone else. But now you are always hiding things from me and I just don't like it. I just want you to talk to me. About anything to me. But you won't. And I just hate it. And everytime when you told me everytime I do something wrong, when I say sorry, you just say the same thing. "Everytime you do it then say sorry de, it's always like that." And when you say sorry, it's like I have to forgive you and forget about it. I just want you to tell me everything. And I mean everything.
...
Another thing. I love you a lot. You should know that. And I pray that you love me too. I just pray you do. But you don't seem to love me anymore. You don't even want to tell me that you love me anymore, and every night, I stay up trying not to cry, thinking and praying that you still love me.
...
I love you. And I gave up almost everything. I let go of so many things just to be with you. I rejected many many guys, telling them I loved no one else but you. I have never loved anyone this much, not even God. I lost many good men. I know that you love me, I just pray you do, but I want you to show me, even when I'm not around. You won't even sms me that you love me. I know I keep telling you that I just want to know that you love me, but it's isn't.
...
You wouldn't even spare a few more minutes with me. And you couldn't even wait 15 more minutes when my meeting was dragged. I was fine to skip a few meetings and also dinner with my grandma and also wait over 5 hours just to spend the next half an hour with you. I was totally fine with that, because I always feared that may be my last time I might see you. Do you know how much it is to just sacrifice for you? Or just to even waste my time and energy on you? It hurts, and it hurts real bad.
...
I know your reputation in school is bad enough. Or just quite bad. And I know that it's not getting better. But I just want you to stop listening to the stupid idiots who talk about you. It's just dumb. I am proud enough to tell everyone that you're my boyfriend and that I love you a lot. But why can't you just do the same for me? And one more thing. Your parents. Why won't you just talk to them? Or get someone older to talk to them? Like David? He's willing to help. So is everyone. Just try doing something for me for once. Just for me.
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I love you, and I mean a lot. I just want you to know that. I just want to know that you love me too. And that you're willing to give up anything for me. You know how important this installation is to me. I just hope that you'll be there. Just for me.
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I love you.

Stupid people should be swallowed ar birth

2009-08-06T13:02:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is NDP. I'm in charge. My interact installation is on 22nd too. I've been staying up so late just to finish up everything. It's very tiring, I can assure you. Not everything is going my way also.

Well, some stupid asshole went to call my mum. I may not know who you are, but you better watch out. I'm in trouble with my parents all because of you. You're going to get it the moment I find out who you are. Causing me to lose my time with my dear. Or my friends. Or my kors. Or my happiness. Just for your one stupid joke.

Well, this is for my parents. They're losing their trust in me. I can't help that. But I have been truthful. But you cannot just take my freedom away from me just like that. I'm not a dog, I'm your daughter. I just want to spend time with my friends without parents spying on me. So what if I have alot of guy friends, is it a sin? It's just how I hang in life. That's how I have fun. They are all my good friends, and what are you to say about that? I'm old enough. Not that I'm that old I just want some freedom. And let me do what I like so that I will not displease you. That's all I want.

And stories about me are fake unless I say them. What can't I have what I want until I'm deprived of it when I'm older? Who doesn't want to live life to the fullest? Who won't want to have dreams, friends and freedom? I want my dreams, which is to spend time nicely with my friends. I want my friends, where I can spend my free time with them. I want my freedom, so that everything of mine will just fall in place. That's how I want it. It may not be for anyone else, but it's just nice for me. Stop me. Scold me. Ban me. Do whatever you want.

And do not ever talk crap with me that I'm not independent and that my friends are some stupid idiots. They're my friends. And be lucky that you have me as your daughter. I'm not a stupid person, you should be able to see that. If you weren't so blind. Atleast I'm still a virgin. Because of one stupid phone call you parents have to go haywire and say that kind of bullshit that we teenagers already know. I'm not going to come back with a baby. I'm not going to be idiotic like anyone I know. I am me. You as my parents should know that.

Plus, you guys should atleast know that I am not a normal girl. You know how tomboyish I am, and how many problems come about when I hang around with girls. That's why I stick with guys. Because they're more fun. They're more alive and active. They're may not be attractive or smart but atleast they care about each other. As my mum says, brothers are always together forever. So why can't we be? I'm not as stupid as to flirt with guys. I am old and mature enough to think for myself. Who are you to judge me? You made me, but I ain't part of you anymore. This is me, not you. Fight me and you might as well say that I'm just some inexperinced stupid kid trying to prove my parents right.

I love being who I am. You're taking my own future away from me by stopping me in my own tracks. Parents are suppose to guide, not to lead. Don't ever take my leading away from me.
My future is what I love to do. My cca, my board, my class stuff and all my friends and kors. Take them away and you will take away my own future, let alone me. I'm being as resonable as ever. So do not ever talk to me like that ever again. You look down on me as being a cheap girl just because I spend time more with guys. That's just blind and stupid. You tell me shit and I don't listen, then you call me unfilial. I should be calling you irritating blind idiots, but I don't because you are my parents. If you ever find this, make sure you read this and read it well. I don't welcome people who are to ruin my life. So if I'm staying away from you, so be it. I do not care what you will do to me. I shall do what I like and when I like. Do not stop me. I have every right to stop you.

Remember, I'm not you're dog. I lead, you guide. You take over, I'm finished. I will never be the daughter you wanted if you ever do that. My freedom is what I need the most. Do not ever take that away just because of some stupid phone call.

I hate my parent's blindness.

I love my ducky

2009-07-09T21:54:00.004+08:00

I got a ducky from my honey today. It's so cute. When I get my thumbdrive, I will post the picture of it very very quickly. So what have my past days been like? I've been damn super busy, and when I mean busy, I mean it. Plus I've been getting myself into alot of activities like SIP or stuff. It's quite fun and I really enjoy helping people about it. Then, what else can you say? I'm just really packed this few days, and I really hate the fact about it. Because of H1N1, everything has been postponed. Like the ITE Simei installation, our installation, ILTC camp and even my own personal time with anyone. Well, it's time to change all these. Now that I'm in charge, it's time to change things. Things are now to go my way, and no one is to stop me. Either they help, or please move aside and let me finish my missions with my 100%. My camera is doing me so much good, and believe me, it is really fun. Taking pictures of unimaginable beauty. I WILL post the pics soon, I promise. Btw, check out this link.
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http://mss-studentcouncil-taywili.blogspot.com/
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Go to it and leave a comment. Help Wi Li with the election my friends.
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We love my ducky!!!

Quizzy Post

2009-07-05T23:56:00.003+08:00

Long time has passed since I wrote on my blog. Sad to say, it'll be a long time before I write on it again.

...
So I'll make it short and simple by putting a quiz on my blog. It's going to be damn fun.
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Before you start, tag 15 people.(can't be bothered) Now start. .
I have. . . (point for each one)

1. smoked

2. consumed alcohol

3. slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex

4. slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex

5. kissed someone of the same sex

6. had sex

7. had someone in your room other than family

8. watched porn.

9. bought porn

10. tried drugs.

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MY TOTAL: 6
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1. taken painkillers

2. taken someone else's prescription medicine.

3. lied to your parents

4. lied to a friend.

5. snuck out of the house

6. done something illegal.

7. felt hurt.

8. hurt someone.

9. wished someone to die.

10. seen someone die.

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MY TOTAL: 14
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1. missed curfew.

2. stayed out all night.

3. eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself.

4. been to a therapist.

5. been to rehab.

6. dyed your hair.

7. received a ticket.

8. been in an accident.

9. been to a club.

10. been to a bar

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MY TOTAL: 18

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1. been to a wild party.

2. been to a Mardi Gras parade.

3. drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night.

4. had a spring break in Florida.

5. sniffed anything

6. wore black nail polish

7. wore arm bands.

8. wore t-shirts with band names.

9. listened to rap.

10. owned a 50 Cent CD.

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MY TOTAL: 22
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1. dressed gothic

2. dressed girly.

3. dressed punk.

4. dressed grunge.

5. stole something.

6. been too drunk to remember anything.

7. blacked out.

8. fainted.

9. had a crush on a neighbor.

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MY TOTAL: 25
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1. had a crush on a friend.

2. been to a concert.

3. dry-humped someone.

4. been called a slut.

5. called someone a slut.

6. installed speakers in your car.

7. broken a mirror.

8. showered at someone of the opposites sex's house

9. brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush.

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MY TOTAL: 31
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1. consider/considered Ludacris your favorite rapper.

2. seen an R-rated movie in theater.

3. cruised the mall.

4. skipped school.

5. had surgery

6. had an injury.

7. gone to court.

8. walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping.

9. caught something on fire.

10. lied about your age.

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MY TOTAL: 35
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1. owned/rented an apartment/house.

2. broke the law in the police's presence.

3. made out with someone who had a gf/bf

4. got in trouble with the police.

5. talked to a stranger.

6. hugged a stranger.

7. kissed a stranger.

8. rode in the car with a stranger.

9. been harassed.

10.been verbally harassed.

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MY TOTAL: 39
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1. met face-to-face with someone you met online.

2. stayed online for 5+ hours straight.

3. talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight.

4. watched TV for 5 hours straight.

5. been to a fair.

6. been called a bad influence.

7. drink and drive.

8. prank-called someone.

9. laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex.

10. cheated on a test.
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MY TOTAL: 47
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I'm a very bad influence?

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If You Have Less Than 10.. write [im a Goody Goody]

If You Have More Than 10.. write [im still a goody goody]

If You Have more Than 20..write [im average]

If You Have More Than 30..write [im a bad kid]

If You have more than 40..write [im a very bad influence]

If You Have more than 50..write [im a horrible person]

If You Have more than 60..write [i should be in jail]

If You Have more than 70..Write [i should be dead]
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Well, that should be all. Anyway, I tried to type like Sean, and trust me, it's hard not to type perfect English. It'll kill me!!
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Well, that's about it. Goodnight people, and have a great Youth Day!!
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We love being young!!!

so happy

2009-06-26T00:57:00.002+08:00

Today i and my honey went to buy the rings at white sands. Then he proposed to me^^ Finally............

GIVE ME A SIGN

2009-06-07T18:55:00.004+08:00

I know it's been a long time, and I really wanted to actually kill this blog, but what the heck. Things have happened. Many other problems have arisen. I have actually considered leaving my honey. Now I have decided. And it is to stay by his side. And my reason would be that he loves me for who I am and that I love him for loving me. These few days I've been going out with Justin and Harrish, and other friends like JMS and Sean( other person ) and also big-eyed Sajit. Well, we've all been having fun and making music by playing guitar hero. It's so fun. Well, so many things have been going on, and I still hate the 2 people who made me miss my chance of going to the Hilary Challenge. And I've been eating too much junk food and also tried swimming alot. Well, I just want life to be just the same as last time. Where everybody were friends and that no one would fight because of me. I don't want people to like me. I just want many many good friends, and many people who are my brothers. I want things to go well, I want good results, I want people to have peace. I don't think I should complain bah. People are suffering because of me, and I really hate that fact. People punch me, please!! Well, I just want to make everyone happy. So do whatever you want to do to hurt me, but just make yourselves happy. I'll just post a picture. Hopefully that picture will make everyone happy after seeing it.

TAKE PITY ON ME. I'M JUST A SMALL GIRL.

MYE, TAKING A BREAK

2009-05-17T01:50:00.003+08:00

I'm going mugging these few days so I won't be blogging. I like the PSL blog though. I just remembered all the times I had there. It was mostly bad but atleast I look stupid in a lot of photos. Haha. Going mugging tomorrow with Justin and a few other friends. Then I'm going to mug at tuition. I have a new tuition to help with my maths. It's really helping. And I like the company. Plus I'm having nights under the stars(or not so many stars) with my honey. It's really romantic and aloha loyang is now really deserted, which makes the place totally deserted, thus, me and my honey can do whatever we want there!! Haha, seems like there's a good thing that the swine flu is going around. Well, don't ask why I'm up. I had a nap. And this guy from Singapore Sports School. Cool, must be fun being in a sports school. Going to have a tennis competition next week. Going to get trashed badly, I think. Sorry for writing all of this in one sentence. I'm having some things on my mind, and plus I have been speed reading, so it's driving my brain alittle crazy but it's doing me good for my maths and english. I'm taking a break in june to cope with all my camps, then return to being a soldier in the school again and mug like a corporal stuck in the world war 2. Haha. I'm back to reading literature books. I'm done with "animal farm", and I'm starting on "the five people you meet in heaven". It's a great book, except for the gory part. Well, I can finally say I'm this is the first time I'm really taking my studies seriously. My marks are like shit in term 1, and I'm quite sure it's going to suck in term 2.
...
AND GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE FOR THEIR MYE. HOPE YOU ACHIEVE WHAT YOU AIMED TO GET. AND SMILES EVERYONE. EVERY ACHIEVEMENT IS A EFFORT SPENT WELL. EVERY FAILURE IS ANOTHER LESSON LEARNED. I'M NOT BEING SMART, BUT ITS TRUE. HAHA. ANYWAY, JUST HAVE FUN LEARNING(:
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We love breaks!!!

MORIJI(:

2009-04-05T22:43:00.006+08:00

This message is for Kelvin, which was partially for David, and also 1 quarter for Timothy, which I have no idea who. SCREW YOU KELVIN!!!
Ok, I got tagged again to do another quiz. I have nothing better to do than to study, so why not? I just hope the people don't get pissed to do it again. But I have more people to ask this time.
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A) People who have been tagged must write their answers in their blog.
B) Those who are being tag cannot refuse.
C) Continue this quiz by tagging 8 other people.
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1 . Arthur Leonard Soo
2 . Nicholas Tay
3 . Sean Tan
4 . Alvin Teo
5 . Joseph Lee
6 . Yan Qi
7 . Hui Yi
8 . Miffy
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1 . What have you been doing recently?
Going out with dear to star gaze(:
2 . Do you ever turn your handphone off?
Never, unless the battries are at it's last.
3 . What happened at 10am today?
I woke up 2 minutes before dear smsed me good morning(:
4 . When did you last cry?
Actually on thursday... but only my brother knows why...
5 . Believe in Fate/Destiny?
Believe in fate, that it can be changed(:
6 . What do you want in life now?
Atleast pass my studies, which I have failed badly in.
7 . Do you carry an umbrella when it rains or just put up your hood?
I'll only put up my hood if I have one, if not, just run and enjoy the cool breeze.
8. what's your favourite thing to do on bed ?
First would be sleep. If it doesn't work, then hug moriji and read a book.
9 . What bottoms are you wearing now?
FBTs!!!
10 . What are the nicest things in your inbox?
dear smsing me say he loves me and muacks^^
11 . Do you tend to make relationship complicated?Wad kind of relation?
I love it nice and simple. Small ones with big bonds.
12 . Are you wearing anything borrowed from anyone?
My uncle's adidas shirt. I love wearing those type of shirts(:
13 . What was the last movie you caught?
Confessions of a Shopaholic. Funny and quite ironic.
14 . What are you proud of?
My boyfriend(: And also my tolerance and loud voice...
15 . What does the oldest text msg in your inbox says and who is it from?
Sean was smsing his passwords, so I can't say what is written(:
16 . What was the last song you sang out loud?
A thousand Miles. I was going through my lyrics folio.
17 . Do you have any nickname(s)?
Spikeball(don't ask why), Retard, 龙姐, dar, Ryt, doggie, Little army girl.
18 . What does the newest text msg says and who is it from?
From Joseph, telling me to tell Nigel I'm the queen of demons(which I am)
19 . What time did you go to sleep last night?
I died on the sofa at 10pm.
20 . Are you currently happy?
Of course I am. I watching football!!!
21 . Who gives you the best advice?
Myself. I give myself best advice other than my teachers.
22 . Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
Only for awhile, before getting dizzy because of the oiliness.
23 . Who did you talked to on phone last night?
My mum, when I was calling home.
24 . Is something bugging you right now?
MY GRADES!!! And all my maths homework. Plus my missing ezlink card.
25 . Who is the last person to make you laugh?
Sean(:
...
Hopefully the people will do this quiz. I just had nothing better to do, that's why. If dear doesn't do the quiz, I'll do it for him(: Muahaha!!!
I want to go star gazing again!!! So fun and beautiful the night was.
Going out for bowling again tmr with my good friend Will(:
...
We love Moriji!!!

Must it end like this?

2009-04-02T23:15:00.000+08:00

Well, I'm not really in a good mood now, so I'll just post a really short post. Well, on monday, my friends asked me out so I went to play bowling with them. Then we had some small games of DM then we had a small chicken rice dinner. Then I took a cab home. Oh, and the best thing was I DIDN'T PAY FOR A SINGLE CENT(: Because my good friend Wilfred said he would pay for everything. I didn't expect that he meant lunch and dinner too. Well, I tried to say goodbye to dear that morning by going to see him one last time before he left, and I was late for school by 2 mins. Didn't expect to see ZC also.
...
Then on tues, Wilfred asked me out again, and we went to Bishan to get some stuff. So I said I wanted to watch a movie, so I thought this time I could pay for myself. I didn't think Will would pay for it again. Finally for lunch, I could eat my own lunch which I paid for myself. But then he paid for the snacks, and it was alot of snacks. He was just going on and on spending on us, especially me. Then after we watched "Confessions of a Shopaholic", we went to the arcade. Wasted quite alot of money there though. Haha. Then we had a Haagen-Daaz buffet. Thus, Will paid again. Cost 83 dollars plus!!! Then I joined a membership of it because of the big receipt. After that, Will and Dao Ming sent me home. That was sweet of them(:
...
Wednesday came after that. Someone gave me a huge Moriji as a farewell present. Just to make it clear, it's the guy who was leaving, not me. Then I was hugging it all the way to my grandma's house then all the way home. My sister thought of it as a punching bag. T.T
...
Thursday was just any normal day. I had my day of school, but when I went to check my results, they were really really bad... I didn't think I would fail 5 out of 7 subjects. It has been the worse marks I ever got. Then I had NCC. Wore my number 4. Left early. Reason: suppose to get my phone. Thus, I went to my usual place. I accidentally saw your dad, which made me shocked. So I just chilled with Joseph, to make it look like I was following Joseph and not you. I just didn't want you to get in trouble. I didn't think you would understand. I know how you'd feel, and it hurts me alot to see you sad because of this. I'll just stay by myself then. I wanted to just be with someone at that time, and you were not around. I just felt sad.
...
I felt sad when I left the bus stop on monday. I felt sad in class for 4 days because I knew I couldn't even hear your voice. I felt sad that I couldn't see your face, and the only thing that made me happy were your pictures, but that wasn't enough. I finally got my giant moriji, but it cannot substitute you for that long. I wished to see you today, and send you home, so that I could see your smile. But all that I got was you getting mad, and also because it was my fault. I felt sad because of all of that. And now that my subjects came out so badly, I'm very sure I will get scolded and it wouldn't help in any of this. Now I just wish to see your face. That is all I ask for. A smiling face. Enough to satisfy all this sadness. All I can do now is just say sorry.
...
[A Thousand Miles]
And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you...tonight
(LOOK FOR THE REST OF THE LYRICS)
...
We love Pulau Ubin!!!

Short Update

2009-03-26T23:15:00.003+08:00

Sorry for not blogging for a very long time already. I'm just going to make this short and simple. I have been sick for the past few days with stomach virus, and thus I have left my com to rot at the side of the table for more than a week already. Now that I have time for it, I'll give a small update. Just to say what's going on soon.
...
My investiture is up soon, and I have not even gone through my interview. What a pain. Plus I'm so sure I won't make it in cause alot of people don't like me. I'm not sure why but I heard it's becuase I'm too loud and irritating or something. But I don't really bother what you guys think so I'll just think that I'm just a loud girl who doesn't like to be wrong, and that I may be small, but atleast I know what's right and what's wrong. And please, getting along with all you other people is as hard as smiling to the devil and saying thank you for killing my life while I'm trying to make everyone else happy.
...
That's all I have to say. Goodnight everyone. And good luck to all montfortians tomorrow for your sports day. All the best for all competitors(:
...
We love sports!!!

I didn't expect that, I really didn't^^

2009-03-19T10:47:00.004+08:00

Well, I stopped blogging when my exams came. Now it's time to go back to the past and see how it was like. Let's just put it in a way for my studies:
English - passable
Emaths - dead
Amaths - dead
Physics - dead
Biology - maybe
Chemistry - passable
Geography - dead
Social Studies - passable
Chinese - dead dead
...
Well, now we can conclude how intellectual I am. What's more, I wasted alot of time during the common test period. Monday had to go for some stupid briefing for Spec course. It was invaluable information though. Doesn't work at all. Then the Sudoku challenge came up also. THEY SPELT MY NAME WRONGLY. I'm going to kill them. And they bloody wasted my 8 hours of studying for Biology and maths. Well, it's all over now so we might as well carry on with life.
...
Saturday, scouts from montfort went to jalan kayu for job week. Sadly, already 2 groups went so many houses were covered. Darren also made a trip down without letting us know. After that, we went for lunch. Then the 2 groups of scouts which came with Sean and Marven increased to 4 groups when Darren came with another 2 groups. They crowded the whole house so I had to move them down to the park. Then they were all playing with the big bouncy blue ball. Then alot of funny things happened to the ball when the cub scouts left. Skipped swimming to join them to do jobweek at tampines. Didn't do anything though. Then went home.
...
Sunday, went skating around Pasir Ris. Didn't like near my house because the roads were all going up and down. Wanted dear to go skating with me, but he couldn't go out so I skated on my own. Went around Pasir Ris for awhile and circled E hub alot of times because of the pouring rain. Then went home. Wanted to excersise because I knew the next day is spec course, and I would need alot alot of muscles. Didn't think I would have gotten a small cough and headache because of the rain. But it was fine after eating 2 mega big panadols.
...
Spec Course was alittle irritating. With the Lieutenant Chang keep irritating me for being loud and too small sized. Well, met Benjamin again. I don't need to explain. You can find me for the answer. Then had lessons the whole day for the first day. And the food sucked. It made me so bloated during lessons. Couldn't concentrate much, but atleast I can do my knots well already. Just can't remember what are the uses. The sencond day was almost the same. Sir Steven gave me his personal rope, for being the best Seawomen he ever saw, or whatever he said. It was an honour. Then my first time doing splicing was actually quite fun. Haha. Atleast I know I'll atleast get a 3rd Sergeant. Finished my test first. Got irritated by CCKSS platoon. Everytime I walk by them, they will say "Benjamin" really loudly. Stupid idiots. Then after Spec course, I took a joy ride around Singapore before going back home.
...
I went to watch a movie yesterday with Sean, Bryan and Syafiq. Watched Push. Then everybody show their "Push" power. Haha. Didn't think so many people wouldn't watch the show. Something also happened in the cinema. Under a jacket......O.O
Don't wish to get into the details so we'll leave it as it is for now(:
Went to buy Vanessa's present, had dinner then sent dear home. In 88, met Li Rong's family. Wah, so suay. Then her dad made fun of me for pat tor-ing so late at night. Haha. After sending dear home, I went home myself. Fell asleep quite fast. Then woke up again. Slept late after that.
...
Actually had an infection so I needed to go to the doctor's today. But it got better after putting some cream on, so I didn't go, and here I am blogging now. I'm still remembering what happened yesterday...^^
...
We love cinemas!!!

Thank you for that wonderful night

2009-03-08T12:56:00.005+08:00

Friday night was unforgetable. Thank you for letting me have such a memoriable day. Laying under the stars in your arms was more than I could ever want. Hearing your heartbeat was so relaxing. Poking each other was really fun but hurts at a later point. Seeing 2 guys kiss on the other side of the road was sick. I mean REALLY REALLY SICK. Spending a night with you, and feeling the love you were giving me just made me think I was the luckiest girl in the world. Everything important and non-important was forgotten, and all the fights we had have all been forgiven. And touching each other was just plain funny. That just shows something:
...
I love you and you love me too^^
...
Well, since you are willing to try your best to change your attitude, I'm just overjoyed you're doing this. I bet David and everyone else around you will be really happy too. I'm also making this rule. If you can go a day without saying any vulgarities and without using any foul actions, then you'll get a really big surprise from me!!! And it's no lie, so I'm counting on everyone to be looking out for you. I'm sorry if this makes you feel alittle weird or being too secure of you. If you want me to stop it, just tell me ok? Or I will continuously worry if you're unhappy with it.
...
Yesterday, we were playing tennis in the rain after training. So much fun. THE FLOOR WAS SMOKING!! AND THE BALL WAS HOT!! Well, we all went down to the point that the water on the floor was condensing from the heat which we was on the floor when we kept sliding around during training. Then the super cool effects like those of the prince of tennis were also there. The water effect, and all the other effects. In all, only 1 ball remained in the court as the other balls were all shot out of the court. Luckily, it wasn't by me. Went home quite wet, but had a really fun game. Hopefully others will join and it'll rain next week too. Oh, and we also went to play bowling. Well, not me, but the rest, as I had no more money. Well, Wesley, I'LL REMEMBER TO GIVE YOU MY LEFTOVER PRAWN EGG IF YOU EVER NEED IT:D I was also quite happy as my swimming was cancelled, so it left us with more time to play. And when I'm asleep after you guys had finished lunch, PLEASE WAKE ME UP. DON'T LEAVE ME SLEEPING THERE ON MY OWN. Had so much fun, but over strained my left arm. So please don't touch it. And especially don't squeeze it.
...
Well, today is my dad's birthday. As you can see, but you can't, the rest of my family is sitting at the dining table watching Slumdog Millionare while I'm on the sofa blogging. I don't mind the lonliness though. It's been like that for the past few years. Well, I went to get the cake for him just now, and we're going to cut it once he comes back from his soccer game with my god father.
...
Common test begins tomorrow, and I'm totally not prepared for any subject except that I know I'll do well for english and pass SS and Geo by border marks. I hate it when we're not allowed to take HE, Art or DnT just because we belong to the express stream. Should have thought twice before going into that school. But time can't turn back, and I've already gone through all of it already, so might as well end it good rather than killing myself just to please others who won't ever say thank you. Ok, I'm just going to try studying. It's like NEVER for me as I can never remember anything. Well, I'll just try my best or just sleep it off. I still got briefing tomorrow...
...
I love Sean!!!

Why wouldn't you just understand?

2009-03-05T05:46:00.005+08:00

I have alot of problems now, including the headache I keep having after the ball hit my eye. The EL department in my school is sending me for so many courses, NCC is sending me for spec course 2 weeks later, and also for the next AKE if I find a partner soon enough. And I have 2 maths test today and I'm totally unprepared. Have also tons of school work which I need the time to do and also alot alot of help with. And my exams are coming up next week, I really need to study. My mental capacity is going really really low. The cross-stitch thingy is the only thing that'll keep my mind at peace for now. I can only get comfort from people near me, especially Joseph. I now have another problem...
...
I just wanted a small break from all these problems. I know you well enough and really hoped you would just listen for once. I know someone told you I was at mac. No one told you that my rehersal had been cancelled though. And I really just needed to talk to David and Justin and Syafiq. I had to discuss something with them that you couldn't know. But I know you'd hurt if you were there. It hurts me as much as it hurts you. The comfort that I always needed didn't come from you, but Joseph. But he was the one that pushed me to stay by your side.
...
I didn't want to tell you that my rehersal was cancelled because I needed to talk to David and Justin in private. So far as I know, Justin is close enough to you to help me with information. Atleast I'll be able to know that you're doing fine in school. Is that not simple enough? You have really good friends in your school, just take the time to trust them. I didn't want to meet you because I really needed the time off to talk to them. They told me alot of things that made me more unhappy than I wanted to be. And just talk to Joseph, can you? It's not like he'll kill you or something. He's my brother, and he's always tried his best to be there for me.
...
And I never left you because I loved you. I never had a doubt that you'd love me too. But today just made me lose my heart. The answer you gave was a big shock to me, and now it is really hard to recover from it. No one is to get blamed for telling me anything, especially those close to you or are trying to help you. I stuck to you because I just wanted to be with you, not because of how you looked or who you were. You were just too close to me already. If I didn't love you at all, I would like been like others who would leave you because of your bad attitude, your lacking in any initiative and looks. None of this had affected me that much. But now you're already talking about breaking up, so why? I thought you really loved me, and everybody knows you're the only thing I care about most now. I just wish you would understand. And when you were walking at the opposite block, I was scared already. I already knew you had doubts of me. I know I'm short, I'm not that smart, I'm not pretty or divine looking as you would want your girlfriend to be. I already have doubts about myself, and I know you'd also have doubts about me. I can understand if you want to break up. I also didn't expect this to happen. Whatever the choice, I leave it up to you. I'm just going to sleep all my sadness away on friday, and have a long chat with David tomorrow.
...
Everyone just hopes you would change for the better, even me. But all I really ask for is for you to be beside me and be true to me. I know you only asked for stead last time because there wasn't any other girls around you, and you really had alot of help from Scott. But ever since I accepted you as my boyfriend, I just wish you would stay with me. Please think of how I would feel, and to how everyone feels. The world doesn't just revolve around you, it revolves around everybody. And the we are all trying our best to help you, so just please...
...
THINK ABOUT OTHERS TOO.

Passion!!!

2009-02-25T21:11:00.007+08:00

Haha. Sorry for the late entry of the posts. Sometimes I think I say sorry to many times just because I do not post my blog on time. Now, it's time to tell the tale. Of very long story. Or, sort of:)

...

I was kayaking at Changi Water Venture. Went there with Kai Xuan. Actually others wanted to go, but last minute told me they didn't want to or their parents didn't allow them. So we went there on our own. We met Tricia on the way there. Had some preparation before going out to see. Saw alot of hot guys there. Woots. Muscular and cute, and also quite smart. Can't say much of all that though, because we set sail before they did. And they were still there waiting for another group of people. Went through 1 and a half hour kayak and reached Pasir Ris Water Venture, which is at Pasir Ris Park. After we reached the beach, I quickly got out and started drinking my 100+. Muahaha... Was sooooo thirsty...Then we made our way to the shelter at the water venture. Had our small lunches there. By then, our skins were already the same shade as the tables. Haha. Then at the same time, another group of boys from Marist came over from the Changi WV also. They were a group of hunky guys, with a few fat ones though. Then we were eating away our lunch. Sad for Steve, because his pieces of chicken dropped on the floor the minute he opened them. Atleast he ate ONE of the peices. That was enough for him though, because he was bloated during the trip to Pasir Ris WV as he ate too much for lunch. Haha.

We made our way back quite soon after taking afew pictures. Actually wanted to meet dear for our anniversary that day, but we couldn't as his parents wouldn't let him out of the house. By the way...

HAPPY 7TH ANNIVERSARY DEAR!!!!

...
So we made our way back. A bad storm was already brewing and we saw fires coming out of hdb flats at Pasir Ris. I was getting so scared as I thought that dear's house was near there. There were 3 fires going on. And when we were further off, another fire started. Well, I tried to reassure that dear would be ok, and he is!
...
Well, on our way back, we found alot of dead fish. I picked up afew, and wanted to bring them back to Changi Beach to dig them a grave. I hope that all animals can die a peaceful death.

Well, you can see the 2 fishes lying at the front of my kayak. I'm going to kill Kai Xuan for knocking both the fishes back into the water which was so dirty that white oil was floating above the water and up came with it all the fishes, large ones. Oh, and the kayak I am using is called a swift. It's very easy to go straight, and only 2 star and above are allowed to use. The thing about it is that it's really hard to turn, and if you're a very unbalanced person or a left-handed person like me, you'll see that the kayak will always go too left or too right, and totally hard to turn back to the correct direction. That was why I kept being at the back of the group when everyone was kayaking. We got stuck in a pretty bad storm though. One hour, and also the lighting were so close that it actually could be felt through the kayak when the lighting struck. The vibration was really scary. The water was really choppy and the boats kept rushing around in the water. A small break to catch our breaths were impossible. To stop halfway would immediately kill you. I was really scared that I would lose my life in the sea. Well, I kept thinking what would happen to dear if I really died, so I just tried my best to withstand the waves and tides. It felt so painful, but atleast we made it back in an hour. Dropped back into the water too cool down my body. Didn't think that anything would enter my leg. Unfortunately, a crab's claw got stuck in my foot, which caused my foot to be really numb after that. This was how big it was, but when they saw it from the foot, it only looked like a small piece of rubble.

You have no idea how painful it was. Well, let's explain. They couldn't use any large object to get it out because it was stuck under the skin, so they had to use a bobby pin to pull it out first, then use nail clippers to pull the rest of the claw out. From that point onwards, I couldn't feel my foot. Just that there was pressure on it. I couldn't feel my toes.....0.0

...

After we bathed, and cleaned up, we left for Changi Village. Had to thank the guys for pulling in all the kayaks including mine, because my leg was immobile. They had a small meal of Nasi Lemak at the Changi Village before we all left for our designated places.

...

I went to my god bro's house for a game of tennis. Actually needed to take care of my brother in the swimming pool, but they forgot to bring the float, so what the heck. I carried on playing my game. And when the balls flew out of the court, they all landed in the drain. Brian, being a smart alec, threw the wet balls at me, knowing that I am wearing a singlet and fbt, the balls landed on my arm and face. OHHHHH!!!! But I had to say sorry to him when I accidentally hit the tennis ball to his face and caused his specs to fall. I am really sorry about that. So it was my turn to take the balls. It was totally wet and soggy and full of moss. I couldn't take it so I went back into the court.

(Compare the red ball with the tennis ball, and the blue guy is Brian aka Nadal. haha)

Brian was playing with my racket aka "Big P". I told him it was a lucky racket but the player using it will be quite unlucky. It was true, and quite believable. Because when he was volleying the balls, he did quite a good job. But some balls hit him when Big P was facing the other side of the court. Well, maybe it was just a lucky racket. Sad to see the P going to fly away when I have to get the racket restringed. Oh, and we were playing with this red colour ball we found in the other court, so it was quite funny. They left after a small game, and my family and my god bro's family went to have dinner at the nearby kopitiam. After dinner, we returned home and I just dropped to sleep. Too tired to say anything else.............

Had a small game of scrabble on monday or tuesday. It was around 45 mins, and the score was so easy to tabulate. Oh, by the way, C=Clausen, Y=Yuan Xin, R=Rytha and A=Afiqah. The tally is at the end of the score. See, my english so pro right? Muahaha. But if I don't start bucking up, I'll really get worse grades. Mdm leck isn't going to let me off this or next year, so I really have to show that I am able to bring my standards up.

Oh, and today after sending dear home, I saw a rainbow in the sky. From my house it looked really big. Next time if anyone comes to my house, I'll show you why. Haha. I was so peaceful after seeing it. Atleast I know that the rain that I kept running in was no waste, even though I got wet and smelly and just plain tired, it was really good to see such a beautiful thing being created after all of that.

...

Well, I should end soon. It's so late now, I'm going to get some sleep. Tomorrow is Montfort's Investiture, so I'm going to be going there and bear through a long talk and a small walk around the school. I'll just end with a song.

...

Everybody's got something they had to leave behind

One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time

There's no use looking back or wondering, how it could be now or neither been

All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

...

I never had a dream come true, till the day that I found you

And even though that I pretend that I've moved on, you'll always be my baby

I never found the words to say, cause you're the one I think about each day

And I know no matter where love takes me to, a part of me will always be with you

...

Somewhere in my memory, I lost all sense of time

And to tomorrow can never be, cause yesterday is all that fills my mind

There's no use looking back or wondering, how it should be now or neither been

Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let yo go

...

I never had a dream come true, till the day that I found you

Even though I pretend that I've moved on, you'll always be my baby

I never found the words to say, you're the one I think about each day

And I know no matter where love takes me to, a part of me will always be...

...

You'll always be the dream that fills my head

(yes you will, say you will, you know you will, baby)

You'll always be the one I know(I'll never forget)

There's no use looking back or wondering, because love is a strange and funny thing

No matter how I try and try I just can't say goodbye

No no no no

...

I never had a dream come true, till the day that I found you

Even though I pretend that I've moved on, you'll always be my baby

I never found the words to say, you're the one I think about each day

And I know no matter where love takes me to, a part of me will always be

A part of me will always be with you

...

We love songs!!!

Picture Explanation

2009-02-17T22:06:00.010+08:00

I've been going out or being busy, so these pictures will help cut short the story, I think. Well, here it goes...
...
I went to some war memorial at City Hall. Very weird cab driver. He kept talking to me about the total defence thingy. Well, he was a nice man. Hope he gets lots of business. Then we were there taking pictures. Many turned up in their no.4 uniform. Wish I could go in my uniform. It would be soooooo grand.
...
After the event, the few of us went to have breakfast in City Hall. BENJAMIN, YOU STILL OWE ME $5.50!!! Then we made our way towards the bowling alley at the other building. Benjamin left already, so Wei Han, Kimberly, Jor Yeong, Faris and played. Jor yeong didn't want to play and we also didn't have enough money, so only the 4 of us played. But the funny thing was, when I tried taking videos of them playing, only one turned out bad. The others all scored well for their throws. And this was how it went...

I look like I'm in a twisted position, having an umcomfortable time.

This was Wei Han with his shot. It merely missed the left pin and went into the gutter. Felt sad for him when it rolled in slowly..... I think it was affected by the man standing on the right....

This time his shot was better. Only 1 pin was left standing. He got the highest score for the first round.

Kimberly played quite well too. As you can see, Jor Yeong was just standing there and being a pain in the ass for everyone when we were trying to score well. Kimberly striked well too. Good for her:)

This time, it is Faris. He scored well, and missed only one pin. He nearly spared. Haha. Seems like his reaction was bigger than any of ours. Super funny.
...

Lastly, it was my shot. I got someone to help video, as I know this might be the only time I am spending time with my friends. So I might as well take a momento. Well, as you can see, I say thank you toooooooo many times. So I am addicted to saying stuff like this all the time. Pardon me if you really cannot stand me saying sorry or anything. And I remembered someone swung the ball behind, and it flew out of his hand and the ball suay suay hit my right hand.
...
These were the scores for the 2 rounds...

...

We later made our way to Vivo to meet another friend. I forgot the person's name, but we did have a fun time. Made our way to Daiso first then had fun in the water. After that, we played truth or dare. Used the bottle of tennis balls and spinned it. Found a funny fact that Faris only liked girls with the name starting with C. Crystal... Cristabel... Cherie... Then we left for our destinations. And I went to have tennis with my god bros and Alvin and the gang. Feel like saying Alvin and the chipmunks...
...
We had fun. And I was playing so hard until my racket started to turn black. I'm getting slower with my serves, I'm not really sure why. And I finally found out why Kalesh hits the ball so low until I have to bend till I fall to the ground. Haha. Should have seen me fall. Kept falling and falling on m side, so I look like I am a sarcastic person trying to make a joke. I had such a fun time, until I noticed that the soles of my shoes have turned blue because I was sliding too much on the court. And my left shoe is wearing out much quicker than my right. Going to get new ADI SPEED shoes soon, I think.

I went to find dear on monday too. Went to see him swim at his swimming class. Was trying to pretend not to know him, but it was very hard because I really had nothing better to do, and what's more, I was in my no4. I had IMT before fetching dear, and I'm very happy because even though it was a right handed rifle, I still managed to get marksman. I'm so happy. Woots!!!! But going back to the topic, I was some sort of a centre of attraction. And my nametag was super bloody obvious, so I was found out by dear's friends very easily. I got bored, so I took a picture of my boots. Got really nothing better to do......

OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH!!!! I also saw all these big huge gigantic soft toys. I'm going to continue saving for them until I get all the 5 there. I've already started. Going to get the orange one first. Muahahaha. Wish me good luck!!!

...

Think I will be resting soon. Hope montfort's investiture runs well, because I'LL BE COMING!!! So look out, I'll be monitoring you guys' actions and how well you can plan it. And LOOK OUT AKE!!! HERE I COME!!!

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We love AKE!!!

Happy Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T22:10:00.000+08:00

Haha. I know many of my friends had very good valentine's days, but also many of my friends had quite bad valentine's days. Well, let's just say that I had my own, and it was really nice. Let's see how it started...
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Well, my dad fetched me to tennis class today, then I went in first because I didn't know where the parking lots were and how to enter the building when in the car. So I thought my father would have left already, but he actually still came and saw me playing tennis. We were playing cat on the hill. During that time, I only had 4 lives left. Lucky when my dad came, even though I was really really tense, I tried my best, and well, I served more shots without dying than usual. Seems like when people are under stress, and they are put in a situation, you really have to control yourself. And those wondering what my dad said to me when he asked me to go out, he just told me I was doing good and gave me some money. I think he wanted me to celebrate my own valentine's day well when he heard love songs on the radio and started humming to them. And I left class early to get back to school. I took a one hour bus to Serangoon.
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But I recieved a call from my teacher that the meeting today was cancelled, and postponed till tomorrow. So that was around 1pm. I was still in the bus, so might as well take the bus all the way to my dear's school and meet him for valentine's day. So the bus took about another 15 minutes to reach.
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Sadly, when I reached there, David got angry at dear(again!) because dear was all around shouting vulgarities and also pointing his middle finger(again!). Then they also missed the taupok session for him as they all forgot. Well, they'll give it to him next saturday. I walked to the field next to their school and found 3 people sitting on the grass waiting for me. I returned Hwee Seng his cap I was wearing around, because his cap was really cool and my hair could fit into it. Then we went to kopitiam to eat, and we also saw Clive korkor and the ventures sitting and eating around. Then when I went to change, the ventures all left before I even came back. Then we had our lunch. Right after that, Hwee Seng left to meet his friends which gave him the cap I was wearing around. Seems like he treasures the cap alot... Then me, dear and Syafiq went down to White Sands library to rest.
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I kept asking dear to stall for time until my swimming lesson ended, because I know my mum would still want me there even though my dad allowed me to spend my valentine's day with dear. So the 3 of us all slacked in the library. I was trying to sleep, while dear was poking to me to stay awake, and Syafiq was totally addicted to the psp. I kept trying to sleep in dear's shoulders, but he made it alittle uncomfortable, then my head slowly rolled down to his stomach. Felt more comfortable, but then dear went on poking me, so I just rested my head on his lap and tried to pretend to sleep. Heard he said I looked cute when I'm sleeping, so I thought the tormenting would end. Didn't think it would continue. Then I tried to make dear stop, so I made him horny. But what was worse was that instead of stopping, he made me horny too. Well, both of us had a really fun time, but I was actually really trying to sleep. I was quite tired. Well, then I sent dear back home. He kept saying sorry that he didn't get me a valentine's day present. No matter how much I asked him to stop, he would stop saying sorry. Well, I didn't get anything for dear also. Actually wanted to make chocolates for dear but I added too much milk, and the whole chocolate wouldn't stay in shape. So I dumped that project. But for dear, he actually gave me his time during valentine's day, which was what I got for the first time. He knew that I suffered my last year's valentine's badly, and this year, he changed it all. I really cannot thank dear enough for giving me his time, even though it couldn't last that long. Well, I sent dear back and gave him a goodbye kiss, then I went home to sleep.
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Had to cover up the rest I tried to get just now. So I konked out quite quickly and slept for awhile before going online to listen to songs. Seems like my mum wasn't asked out by my dad on valentine's day, so she was in quite a foul mood. I didn't wish to interfere with her business, or I'll be in a bad mood, so I went upstairs before she could use anything to hammer on my head.
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Well, just to say, this year's valentine's day was the best valentine's day of my 15 year life. Hoping for many more to come. Hoping that everybody had celebrated their valentine's day well, even though I know many of my friends didn't have anyone to celebrate with except their friends and families. Well, that's good enough. You guys can give each other hugs and kisses. Haha. Just a joke. Got to rest now, having a small headache and still quite tired.
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We love valentine's day!!!

Paiseh, people. Valentine's day is coming

2009-02-12T21:29:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry for not blogging for so long. Was too tired to post and also too tired to even go online. But these were what happened the few days before. Maybe afew pictures can help me explain it more easily. I know it's been more than a week already. I'll try my best to write everything in.
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Well, I was quite busy last week for Total Defence Day aka TDD. Went to Kranji War Memorial and also Ford Factory. I learnt more about Singapore's past years. I am still quite sad I didn't get history. I opted for it, but got SS and Geo instead. WAH!!!! It's ok, it's already past, but still favourite subject of mine even though I'm not studying it. I also remembered that my history notebook is still with Sean... I am good with teaching history, so just ask me any questions about it, and I can help. Also, when we were finding the places, my teachers got mixed up with the roads, so I had to help them out of the place with the map. SEE, I USED MY SUPER GOOD A-STAR MAP READING SKILLS!! Managed to get them off the ERP in about half an hour. Took alot of pictures but no idea how to load them... Sadden...
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Then the next few days, I just continued with my life. Study, end school, stay back for rehearsal for TDD presentation, then go and send Sean home. Then a big thing came on.
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SL Camp was on fri and sat last week. Was sooooo tired... Then was rushing in and out of school so many times because they kept saying that the logistics have not bought their stuff... Really slow... Then I went back to school to prepare the water bombs.

After that, they stayed there to play water bombs. I went to prepare the cordial. Thanks for Elaine, I could get the ice for the cordial. Cordial was really really good... But then the stupid softballer guys came for the drinks and wouldn't go away. Wish to kill them...And then just went to serve them the water. Had a hard time to teach them cheers as they wouldn't listen. I meant the sec2s. And the seniors are the best. Just stood there and did nothing but talk. I thank Jac and the rest who helped with the cheers. I really appreciated your help. Then had to scold them here and there Because so many of them just went off to slack. I kept telling them... Take my words seriously and pay 100% of attention to me. If you don't, screw up and I won't even care. It's not my job to take care of what happens to you guys. Then had confidence walk. Went to spread chili sauce on the sec2s and flour. Also mooed and made screaming sounds when they were on the stairs. Super cute when they were making alot of screaming noises. Then they had movie mania while the seniors had meetings until super supe late. I got my phone confiscated also, so no contact until the next day. Let's just skip to the next day. They had games and I also got a small scolding for my fbt tear( remember the one I got from playing tennis and Jonathan made me climb the fence and it tore?). Then they had breakfast. I was there eating the rest of the skippy peanut butter. That was all I ate. Then they had mass cleaning up. I forgot to get the jerrycan. Sian. It's ok, atleast I returned it to safety. Met Sean after scouts too. And missed my swimming because I really didn't want to go. Was too tired for surviving on one meal for the past 36 hours.

...

The next few days, I went to fetch Sean from school. Then one of the days, I borrowed his venture's cap but didn't want to return it. Ehehehe. Going to wear it on sat to return, then bring an extra one to cover my head. Haha. Well, this was how I looked with it on. And I'm still not zilian, just that some people wanted me to upload it^^

I'm thinking, how he'd look in the dress....... hehehe....

I'm bored. Got nothing to do. Thinking of what happened last week. Hais... Stress......

Don't I look like someone familiar? Someone stupid? Or just plain crazy and bored?

I know now it's just a zilian photo, but maybe you might want it? Who knows?

Oh, everyone knows this week is valentine's day. So well, I already got my first present!!! It's from my brother and it's really nice.

I'll let you hear it too. Just press play. It's really nice.

Can't say much now, but just to say sorry for not posting for a very long time already. I remembered why I stopped. I was having a really bad stomachache after school, then I went to bed. Kept waking up in the morning and wanted to vomit, so I went to get a nearby pail. The pail kept dropping though and luckily, the pain subsided after awhile. Wishing that my valentine's day is spent differently this year....

We love caps!!!

I'll give you an explanation

2009-02-04T21:40:00.005+08:00

People can say that I'm boring, I'm always injured, I'm always tired. Yes, I know. I'm like that. It's because I have alot of things in my mind swirling around. Well, this has been happening these few days so I shall explain.
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I went to a restaurant with my brother. He treated me with a good meal because he said he was going to leave soon for somewhere. So he treated me to Eighteen Chefs. It was a restaurant run by ex-convicts. Well, I was scared when I first saw that it was run by ex-convicts, but when I went there, it was super cool!!! The windows were filled with writings by others who visited the place. I didn't leave my name there though. But I was fine with it. Haha
THE TABLES WERE THE MENU!!! IT WAS SUPER COOL!!! I'M GOING TO BRING PEOPLE THERE NEXT TIME!!!
I ordered Cheese baked pasta, with Creamy white sauce, mushroom and minced beef. It was really good. And my kor kor also got me a drink and ice cream. It was super nice!!! I'm seriously going to get my dar to go there with me next time.
I was too hungry and kept on eating until my kor took my pic of me eating so quickly. I managed to finish everything, because I was sooooo hungry. Now I can tell everyone that I have a very big appetite.
OHOHOHOHOH!!! And I found a odd shaped tomato my brother bought. It was sooo cute. Maybe next time we can get other fruits to grow in odd shapes also.
Ok, and this was what happened when I had nothing better to do during the 2+ hour CE period. The char sao bun is called Domo, and I tried to make a copy of it on my foolscap. I added alot of other funny faces with it also because I really had nothing better to do.
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Well, I have to now say goodbye to my racket's string. I will be replacing it as my coach says its too dense, and it has to be restringed and tightened. I needed to do better in tennis, and I have raised the amount money for it and I'm going to say bye bye to it. So this are the last few times I can see the Big P before this saturday.
I know both photos are upside down, but I couldn't rotate it as I took the pictures upside down. Haha. It's ok. So long as the pictures last forever, it's good enough. Well, I'll be writing some stuff now. Actually, only one person has to read them, so those who are not the closest to me, nothing bad for you. Just enjoy the day as much as possible^^
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I WILL EXPLAIN WHY I STILL TREAT HIM AS A BROTHER. IF YOU HAD SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU, AND HE JUST MADE A SMALL MISTAKE THAT MADE YOU HATE HIM, WOULD YOU STILL TREAT HIM AS A PERSON? LET'S SAY IF SOMEONE LIKE YOUR SISTER TOUCHED YOU WITHOUT YOU TELLING ME, WOULD YOU FORGIVE HER AND WANT ME TO FORGIVE HER? YOU WOULD, RIGHT? SO WHY WON'T YOU? AND YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT HE WILL DIE SOON, SO WHY WON'T YOU JUST MAKE HIM HAPPY AND LEAVE HIM ALONE? WHATEVER HE HAS DONE WAS JUST TO GET US BACK TOGETHER,DON'T YOU GET IT? WHY WON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? HE KNOWS YOU HAVE PROBLEMS EXPRESSING YOURSELF, AND KNOWS THAT YOU'RE NOT A GOOD BOYFRIEND. HE WAS THERE TO COMFORT ME WHEN YOU COULDN'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING NICE TO ME WHEN I WAS HURT. I HAD TO ACT IN FRONT OF YOU THAT I WAS OK BECAUSE I KNEW YOU COULDN'T DO ANYTHING TO COMFORT ME. AND EVERY NORMAL BOYFRIEND WOULD KNOW THAT HE HAS TO BE FIRST TO START THINGS, TO HOLD HANDS, TO HUG, TO EVEN PUT YOUR ARM AROUND HER. I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO SAY ALL THIS TO YOU, BUT I HAVE TO, JUST TO MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND. YOU SHOULD KNOW HOW I'M FEELING NOW, BUT I WON'T DARE TO SAY THIS IN FRONT OF YOU. YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IF I SAID IT TO YOU FACE TO FACE.(eyes are red now.........)
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Well, I shall end here tonight. I have been doing a bio experiment at home. When I finish it, I'll post about it because it's so cool!!!
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We love Eighteen Chefs!!!

Last time I might see my racket like that

2009-02-01T22:41:00.005+08:00

I actually wanted to post a picture of my racket because it may be the last time I will see it like that. Because coach found out why I keep hitting so hard, and he saw that it was because of my racket. My racket strings were not tight enough, so I need to restring my racket. Sad to see the big P go, and also quite sad to see my money fly away because my dad isn't going to pay for any of my tennis things except for the fees. Sadly, I want a good racket so that I'll be able to play better. Every step closer for me to get better in tennis is worth it all. I'll be digging out my allowance to pay for it, so I'm going to be starved for awhile. Going to live on energy drinks and small snack bars. A good time for diets too.
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I was also really really happy that I scored an ace yesterday. People who play tennis would know what an ace is. Well, I shot it with a jump, and it was my first time. I was just going to play well, that I didn't even notice I scored an ace. I accidentally sprained my leg because I went for the jump, and I landed with my leg twisted a little. But I didn't tell anyone because the pain didn't last much. It hurts more now though. Anyway, it was fun yesterday. Had no swimming also, so I could play longer. Going to buy tennis balls soon, because I want to play tennis even after class ends. Hopefully, my dad takes away my swimming class so I'll have more than enough time to play tennis with my friends. Maybe this week or so, plus I heard that they sell tennis balls at queenstown for a very cheap price. $76 for 60 tennis balls is way cheap. And I mean it. Hopefully we won't hit it to the windows like what we did to urm.... I forgot that guys name. Damn, I should really get to know my tennis mates well. This doesn't help at all.
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Well, we went off from tennis because we got no more balls to play with already. And please don't think that I'm saying it in a sarcastic manner. I went to church after parting from my friend at the mrt station. Then I made a somewhat one hour trip to Payalebar. Met my church friends there. Then I changed into skinnes. I looked like a white ghost with red shoes. Haha. Super cute though. First time in church for a long time aready. And just got information that Pastors are going to Los Angeles to join Pastor Kong and Sun. Just to say, they all lead amazing lives, but I'm not really sure I'm a convicted Christian anymore. My really good brother, whom everyone knows, as the fat guy, has been going through alot of pain. He made a deal with the devil for the sake of making me happy, and now, he's got about 44 days left to live. Don't ask why, don't ask how, don't ask anything. Just know that everything is painful as it is now. Trying to bear the pain that he's going to die in those 44 days, I just wish that I'll be beside him when he goes. He just paid too much for my sake. I really wished that he would break the deal. And to know that he thinks of how I look and sound when I cry, makes me think how much he is suffering that he sees me suffering. Well, as I told you, very few people have seen me cry, and I have only cried once infront of everyone in sec1 when they were all toturing Matthew, and I knew that they were just too heartless. Even I know where the limit is. And only my tan family knows how I look when I am crying with no tears. Don't tell them how I look. It would just make the look come back.
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Well, I do not want the post to be with an unhappy ending, so I'll try making it happy.

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please listen to the song while looking at he lyrics.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bq4rzCIc6rg&feature=related ...
...

EVERY MEDICAL FEED WANT A PART OF ME

I'M DANCING HOLES FOR MY LIP TO SEECALL ME YEAH

THEM BUTTS TO GET A PART OF ME

I TURN YOU UPSIDE DOWN TO SAY "OOH AH AH"

OOH VEYKA HELMET SPLIT "OOH LA LA LA"

YOU'RE SO FREE

SUZANNO'S MELODY
...

OOH WHOA AH AH

DANCING MEAT BALLS

CRAP I NEED A HAND THERE

YOUR SONG IS YOURS

TO KNOCK STICKS IN A VAN SET

PRESIDENT LIED

PLZ I NEED A COIN CENT

MEDICAL HELP I'M CARAMELLDANSEN

...
OOH OOH OHH WHOA WHOA

OOH OOH OOH WHOA WHOA OHOOH

OOH OOH WHOA WHOA

OOH OOH OOH WHOA WHOA OH
...

YOU PLAY THE SAXOPHONE IN THE UPPER STOVE

THAT IS WHERE I LOST AND SLIPPED MY NOSEC

ALL ME "L"

RETARDED STICK THAT'S ON THE END

OOH WHOA WHOA OH

SUE LICKED A PHONE SAY "OOH AH AH"

HELL LICKED A PHONE SAY "OOH LAH LAH LAH"

YOU'RE SO MEAN

SUZAN O.'S MEDODY
SO COME ON

...
DANCING MEAT BALLS

CRAP I NEED A HAND THERE

YOUR SONG IS YOURS

TO KNOCK STICKS IN A VAN SET

PRESIDENT LIED

PLZ I NEED A COIN CENT

MEDICAL HELP I'M CARAMELLDANSEN

...
DANCING MEAT BALLS

CRAP I NEED A HAND THERE

YOUR SONG IS YOURS

TO KNOCK STICKS IN A VAN SET

PRESIDENT LIED

PLZ I NEED A COIN CENT

MEDICAL HELP I'M CARAMELLDANSEN
...

OOH OOH WHOA WHOA

OOH OOH WHOA WHOA OH

OOH OOH WHOA WHOA

OOH OOH WHOA WHOA OH

...
SO COME ON
DANCING MEAT BALLS

CRAP I NEED A HAND THERE

YOUR SONG IS YOURS

TO KNOCK STICKS IN A VAN SET

PRESIDENT LIED

PLZ I NEED A COIN CENT

MEDICAL HELP I'M CARAMELLDANSEN

...
DANCING MEAT BALLS

CRAP I NEED A HAND THERE

YOUR SONG IS YOURS

TO KNOCK STICKS IN A VAN SET

PRESIDENT LIED

PLZ I NEED A COIN CENT

MEDICAL HELP I'M CARAMELLDANSEN
...

And this last picture is for him. A dream, takes only one person to fulfill and the other to feel happy.
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We love Caramelldansen!!!

Nothing better to do

2009-01-29T00:27:00.005+08:00

I was just taking afew breaks here and there during CNY as not many people were around. I didn't think that they'd take so long to come. So I was just staring blankly at my laptop, because no one was talking to me on MSN as they had to help out for all the CNY preperations. So I just went and played with my phone and took stupid pictures of myself. There were alot more pictures, trust me. But they're not that funny, so I won't be posting them. Maybe next time. And people, FYI, those aren't my specs. I only take picures of myself for an amusement, and I always make funny faces. Or else I won't take myself. I'm not so zilian one ok!! Haha. Hope to take some photos with some good friends next time. Then we can always remember the days.
Damn, I look so constipated. Haha. Or maybe I was just doing a bad kissing scene.......

OH, and my aunt brought us to some flower place. We bought quite a number of flowers so I could keep on decorating them in pots. The one I call on top is "the afro". Haha. Because it looks exactly like a bob of hair.

Oh, and I have a bigger one. Sorry guys, I can't rotate the picture. I don't have the time to rotate it. But if you could, then good for you^^ This one is the one I'd like to call "The One". It sounds so weird, with 3 ones coming out all in the same sentence. I call it that name because the Chrysathemun(or how ever you spell it) is the tallest among all the flowers and also the biggest. Sadly, these flowers won't last very long. Most probably around 2 weeks. I'm going to say bye bye to them. But if by luck, the plants survive, I'm going to be soooooooo happy.

Oh, and my uncle found a bird when it was near death. He had been taking care of the bird for around 2 weeks. He thought he could give it to me because I liked animals alot. But my parents and grandparents both disagreed because they thought it might affect my studies. I think it would though, because the bird kept wanting more food and water, but the next minute, it would just poop everything out. Weird bird...... and it disgustingly pooped on my hand once. I was screaming my head off. It looked like the papaya I fed it and also with additional water. It smelled horrible too. It was given to me on the first day of chinese new year. So I wanted to give it a name. But sadly, it left on the second day of chinese new year. Sad. Well, atleast I won't have any pets to drive me crazy except for that tortise which keeps wanting to come out of the tank, when it knows it's too big to even reach the top.

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So on the day we went back to school, during UA, I won a box of ferrero rocher for answering a question when no one else wanted to. I didn't know the prize was that big. And it was the only prize. Not to mention the answer and question were really really simple. That should be a good time to tell people that do not be afraid, just willingly stand up and say it out. You might be right, but even if you're wrong, atleast you know you tried. Half the box is gone already, by the way, so no one please ask me for the chocolate and what's more, do not open it when I didn't even give you the permission to. I can't believe as my seniors, they would do that. They should be the ones learning the lesson, not us, for just being younger than them.

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Well, got nothing much better to say. I just wish for my good friend, don't wish to say the name, to get better soon after eating too much heaty food. Maybe that was a lesson learnt, but it was a good lesson:) And it goes to everyone who has a sorethroat or runny nose after the CNY celebrations. HOPE YOU GUYS GET WELL SOON:)

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I already know I'm going to get in big trouble for just missing one training of NCC. What's worse, the teachers found out why I missed the training. But just to be with you for that period of time, it made me happy to think that it was worth it all. I'm going to get a big scolding today, but I do not want you to worry. Just focus in school. And I already know what made you angry, so you do not have to explain to me if you want to.

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We love CNY!!!

Had so much fun during my anniversary

2009-01-22T21:04:00.007+08:00

I'm going to be really in deep shit if any of the NCC people see this, but who really cares. This was my first time ponning NCC. Everyone knows I'm a NCC freak, but this time I'll show you I'm more than just an obedient kid.
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Sorry about the PSL meeting also. Had to rush off. Because I had a meeting with Miss Lim about the NE Ambassador thing. I'm her so called current secretary. I'll copy notes and everything for her. Only if needed though. I'm going to be helping out in the Total Defence Day and International Friendship Day preperations. Will be passing her the notes we got from the course there.
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OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH!...................... Nothing special...................... Only that something embarrasing happened to me................................ People who know, don't say. People who don't know, don't ask........ just 2 words are enough............. stained pants.................... Well, I'll forget about it then. Skipped half of SS period just to look for a pair of extra pants, which I couldn't, so I went to find Sok Hong, to get from the council. Seems like they didn't have any also, so I just had to make do with the old Peicai skirt(you know, the brown one). Then I looked weird, with white pe, brown skirt and red shoes. But it was fine with me, as looking weird was one of my specialties. (Ms Chew, of course the new uniform is nice and I like it alot^^)
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Oh, and people, new news for you. Any bad things I wish to say, it'll be in white. So you guys won't be affected by what I write. Especially those who aren't near to me but is in my school. I suggest you stay away from the white parts.
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WHAT THE HELL. PEOPLE, I JUST WISH TO QUIT PSL. MEETINGS ARE TOLD ON THE SPOT AND WHEN I ALREADY HAVE SOMETHING ON, YOU GUYS HAVE TO JUST MAKE IT WORSE BY MAKING EVERYDAY A LIVING PIECE OF HELL. LIKE THE PLANNING OF THE UPCOMING CAMP. WHEN OTHERS DON'T TURN UP, EVERYTHING IS TOTALLY FINE. WHEN I DON'T TURN UP, YOU GUYS SCOLD ME AND BLAME THAT IT'S MY FAULT THAT THINGS ARE TAKING TOO LONG . WELL, SO MUCH INFORMATION NEEDED ISN'T THERE, AND SO HOW THE HELL CAN I BLOODY MAKE ANY CALCULATIONS AND THE BUDGET? IS IT ALL MY FAULT? YOU GUYS BLOODY PUT ME IN THOSE POSITIONS WITHOUT EVEN ASKING ME, AND ARE STILL BLAMING ME FOR BEING NOT AROUND. I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO MY FRIENDS AND DON'T BE IN ANY ACTIVITES, SINCE I'M ALWAYS THE ONE AIMED AT. PEOPLE USE PHONE ALL OVER THE PLACE, YOU DON'T CONFISCATE. I USE PHONE IN PLACES PEOPLE CAN'T SEE, AND YOU STILL HAVE TO THREATEN ME TO KEEP IT EVEN WHEN YOU OPENLY USE YOUR PHONE AND SHOUT VULGARITIES ALL OVER THE PLACE. AND YOU STILL DARE TO CALL YOURSELF THE DISCIPLINE HEAD AND ADVISOR OF PSL. YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND GO TO HELL. AND ALSO TO MY PEERS. SHERYE, PLEASE DON'T TREAT ME LIKE A STICK WHEN I'M THERE ASKING YOU A QUESTION AND YOU JUST WALK PAST ME LIKE I MEAN NOTHING. AND PLEASE, A CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE, DON'T ACT LIKE YOU ARE IN THE SAME STATE AS I AM IN. DON'T FAKE THAT YOU'VE ALSO BEEN PRESCRIBED FOR A SPRAINED BACK, WHEN YOU'RE TOTALLY FINE. PLEASE BE SERIOUS, IT'S REALLY HARD TO BEAR WITH YOU.
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Phew............ Finally managed to cool down after writing it down. Now I want to explain what happened to my grandma. She's alittle sick now, but getting better. I don't wish to say about my sister. Those who have heard, please be a kind soul and explain to others what happened to my sister.
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And about yesterday and today, my anniversary. I'll explain yesterday first. I spent awhile with Sean in Mac with Syafiq. Was playing with him. When I hit a certain spot on him, his leg jumped up and hit the table. Haha. So funny. Had lots of fun. Now I'll explain today. Something in the bus happened which I didn't want to say.(You should have known that I hate fights) Then we went to Mac again. Seems like Syafiq and Joseph were in the bus earlier than us. Met with Scott and seems like he was still as tall as ever... I'm getting a little jealous. Then me and Sean played again. But this time I was at a disadvantage. I was wearing a skirt. No fair, I must bring 2 sets of pants next time. And the skirt was quite loose and also quite long. So I folded it 5 times and also used Sean's tie to tighten it so it won't come off. Haha. He won't get his tie back.....ever...... muahahaha.
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I was so sad when you started the fight with Marven in the bus, so I just kept quiet, because I couldn't really do anything to make you smile. I wanted to apologise to Marven, by asking David for his number. But seems like David told you what happened. I'm really sorry he made you mad. I just didn't want you to be upset, that's why I kept running away to call him. Seems like I can't really make you happy, especially what day today was. I just don't know what to do now. Should I just concentrate on my work, or continue what I've been doing for a very long time, find you to stay with you as long as possible no matter what.
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I've got nothing to say now, actually. I'm actually in a towel now as I have to put my clothes into the washing machine, and I'm taking some time to write this post. Haha. Well, I'll bathe soon^^
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SEAN MADE ME HORNY...........MUAHAHAHA.......
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We love white letters!!!

First day of the week was a scare

2009-01-19T19:49:00.004+08:00

You want to know why? Well, many people should already know what happened to my class. If you don't, I'll explain.
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Well, this morning, I heard from people that my class was vandalised. It had been smashed with eggs which were raw and also sprayed with soya sauce. We found the bottle but forgot that it had fingerprints, so we threw it away. I couldn't believe I did such a stupid thing!!! Then I went to clean up the rest of the room with Lisa while the people went for class at the library. Then I had to bring as many books as possible to where the class was. I was told they were at the Emmanuel Hall, so I walked there. Then they weren't there, but I thanked the boy for trying to open the doors for me. Then I walked towards the ava room, thinking they'll be there. So I was screaming into the room to ask someone to open the door. Couldn't touch the door because the books were so heavy. Then when someone opened it for me, I asked Mdm Yusma where was my class. She didn't know, so I left, but accidentally banged the door too hard because I had to close it with my foot. Didn't have the chance to say sorry. Then I took a short break at the canteen when all the books dropped. Had a friend to help me bring the books up.(thank you gilbert^^) Then I finally met Mr Razali which told me my class was at the library. I took what energy I had left to walk to the library. Then Ms Lam had to kill my spirits that the books should have been left near class, as the class will be going up later. Then I took the last of my energy to walk back. Guess I have talked enough of the class stuff. Had alot of soya sauce spilled on me. I smell like urine!!!!
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OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! I almost forgot. I baked a set of cookies yesterday. Had comments that they tasted like granola and were dry. Well, I'll try my best to improve it. Actually wanted to let my dear try, but forgot. Ehehe.... Going to let him try tomorrow^^(I better see his face like this or I'll kill him!!!)

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Well, I have to prepare for tomorrow soon. Just got posted to food IC of the student leader camp. And if anyone falls sick, it's my fault, again. Now, I'll have to end here. I have not bathed yet. Should be posting soon. If I don't, you should know who killed me......
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We love cookies!!!

Sports day!!!

2009-01-17T00:50:00.004+08:00

It's the last day of the second week already. Time passes by really fast. Hopefully everything slows down. I had that PSL meeting again...... Everyone will be able to see why I'm avoiding PSL so much..... It should be obvious. With the type of people, the kind of unfairness they give, just to those who are different. I have a word for those still in the board. We may not be your friends, just because we're different in our little ways, but at least listen to us. It's not that hard. Now with alot of activities falling on saturday, I hate the planning of school more and more. Especially the next thing that's coming on next. I have a sort of interact thing at CJC on 31st jan, which is on a SATURDAY, AND THERE IS NO SWIM CLASS ON THAT DAY!!! My long hours of tennis has just flown away..... Should have thought twice about it. But it's ok, because I'll be accompaning some of the sec2s who are some of my favourite, because they like hanging out with me.
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I'll explain why they hang around me. Seems like they are the so called school nerds or school rejects. After seeing that they were in a much more pitiful state than I was, I went to help them. There is a reason we are called interactors of Peicai. Seems like alot of people forget why. Especially the people who are sec3 and above. And now these sec1s whom I'm taking care of, they are so much better off than the others. At least they have a sense of respect for each other. I wish to let my teachers know, that I was always near the brink point of quitting PSL.
First reason is that the people there are killing the Peicai Pride, especially the Discipline Master.
Second reason would be that the sec2s are all learning from the sec3s and above. I could just say bye bye to alot the sec2s who were going to dedicate themselves to PSL have turned into lost faith.
Third reason that is after I quit, I will have so much more time and energy to spend with my precious sec2s.
Seems like I'm getting a little too angry about my PSL thing. But I'd like to say I have one reason to stay, and that is to be in the Interact Board. There wasn't any other reason why I would choose PSL to Council. Somehow I feel like I made the wrong choice, because my school student council is so much better than PSL. And if the teachers read up on my blog, I'll be glad to let them see it, big and clear.
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Ok, to the more happier things which happened on friday. There was a softball match going on, with Montfort and Peicai playing. I was wondering what would happen again. And I couldn't send Sean home because my meeting ended too late. So when they arrived, I was sitting with my sec 1A students wo were ex-montfortian softballers. Sad Spencer couldn't come. They were all so eager to see him again. Well, people, you should know I'm a noob at softball, so I didn't know who was scoring or anything. If they clapped, I would just clap with them. And the thing about it was that if Peicai scored, we would clap, but if Montfort scored, no one cared execpt the players itself. Montfort would also clap if we scored. No wonder Montfort players are so much better. No offence to Peicai softballers.
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While the game was going on, I went to play Rugby with Mr Fahmy, Clausen, Mr Ong and Amir. They were teaching me how to kick the ball correctly. And the same thing I would say that made me wonder. Why when people bang into me, I wouldn't fall. Instead, the other party, which is larger than me by 2 times and alot heavier, falls and incures a injury. If anyone found out the reason why, please tell me. I'm getting a little freaked out myself. Muahahaha!!! I can make mountains fall!!! Especially the ones in school!!! So after the small game, I continued watching the match. Didn't understand much still, so I went to play softball with my sec1s. They couldn't find a left-handed glove, so I was having a difficult time throwing the ball. Then I started catching low throws, so I have to lower myself alot. I'm not sure why, but I like to keep my legs straight, instead of bending. So my sec1s kept asking why I kept doing splits just to catch the ball. You can ask me real life, and I can answer the whole complex question why I keep my legs straight.
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After the few games, I finally saw how Jason looked like. He's much taller than he looks...... Don't want to mess with him. But he's a really good softballer. No doubt about it. Then I made my way to Chomp Chomp. Went to have dinner with my sec1s then went to walk around the club at Serangoon Garden. Was actually going to the gym with them, but seems like they already went. So we just took a small walk around. Then we sat around and talked. After that, Aacus was kind enough to send me to the bus stop, because he knew I didn't know the place well and my eyesight wasn't good either. Then from there on, I went home. When I reached home, I went to charge my phone on my com, and left it at BRB on msn, hoping no one would talk to me. Sad people couldn't see. Then I was forced to go and bathe before I get too tired. To say the truth, I was already dying to sleep, but I didn't look that way because my eyes were still wide open. So when I went upstairs to bathe, I literally fell on the bed and slept till 12.15. Then I woke up for no reason and went to bathe. Now I'm blogging:)
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Why is it you're giving me the feeling that I'm going to be replaced soon? I'm feeling so insecure. Please tell me what is going on. The more you hide, the more I get worried. You are mine, and I'm so afraid of losing you. You're just too important, please don't go.
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So that's about it already. Time to go back to sleep. I have tennis tomorrow morning. So need lots of sleep. My left leg still hurts after Mr Fahmy fell on me. Ouch.....
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We love sports!!!

MOOOOO!!!

2009-01-13T21:31:00.002+08:00

Sorry for being a little random. It really is boring at home. Well, I was shopping for people's birthday present. I found one for Ben's present but I everything was at a buy 2 at a 10% discount. So I also bought another album. I think I'll just give it to Benjamin for his birthday. DON'T TELL THEM THAT THIS ARE THEIR BIRTHDAY PRESENTS!!!

I'll give them the presents on their birthday. I was actually looking for a birthday present for ZC, but I couldn't find the specific one. I'm going on a hunt for it tomorrow. It's a joke, so I'll keep it a secret until it is out. Muahahaha. I'm to evil!!! School was ok, as ever today. But as the usual me, I would sleep in class, and the teacher would always ask me what was wrong. I would just tell her I am too tired because I have alot of things to settle at home until late. Well, I do. Especially with my family. Me blogging is only when I have enough peace and quiet. Now I have a little peace, because i think I'm going to sleep soon, I think.

And I have been quite tired for the past few days. SOMEONE PLEASE GET ME A WAKING UP PILL FOR THE MORNING AND COFFEE IN THE NIGHT!!!! THANKS SO MUCH!!!!

We love David!!!

Well, things are normal as ever

2009-01-11T09:15:00.007+08:00

We shall recap from friday, as it was very very fun on friday. It was CCA open house for the sec1s, so everybody were preparing to welcome the sec1s to their booth. Unluckily for us, we got stuck with the very last one at the end. Which sucks alot because we were blocked by people from the Saint John's. They kept stealing our people away. Because of that, we had to shift our platoon down to the driveway. Then we were given a short period of time to walk around with our uniforms and rifles to jio people to our booth. But it seems quite impossible, as manyo f them have already been pulled away by other CCAs, especially the girls. But we were hard to give up, so we went to trash the other CCAs by going into their games and stuff telling all the sec1s
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"WE'RE GOING TO SHOOT YOU UNESS YOU JOIN NCC!!!"
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So we had alot of fun running around places. We turned a little hungry doing all that, so we went ot the Girl Guide's booth to eat pizza...
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Then we finished off by packing everything. After that, I went to study at Mac(my favourite place to eat rubbish and also talking corner with friends). I studied from 6+ until 9+. Had a small chat with Benjamin also. Seems like he has improved well in life. Hope the best for him for this year, since it's his last year in Montfort. Then after the studying, I had nothing much to do, so I went to copy articles that I could find in my file. As it seems, I couldn't find many. Only 5. So I just copied them until 9+, continuously going to the toilet to wash my face to wake myself up. Then after the rest of the copying, then I walked towards the school. They were also on their way there so we just went to the bus stop. Then we took the bus to Pasir Ris and sat there for awhile at Mac. Just to take a small rest as my bags were heavy and so were my clothes. Didn't want to carry on walking with a 1kg+ uniform while people kept calling me tiny army girl and looking at me with the weird stare... Then I sent Sean home then went home accompanied with my PSP, which has songs that make me laugh alot. Or I'll just go crazy and sing along with the songs and look like a complete fool. Then when I reached my stop, which is the Seletar Camp, many people thought I was going into the camp because of my clothes. Then I misled them by walking the other way, which was home. Then I went home and let my mind take a small break, then woke up the next morning.
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The next morning, which was saturday, I woke up early to go for tennis. This time, I won't make the dumb decision of taking 30 mins to travel to Yio Chu Kang rather than going to Woodlands in 20 mins and its atleast 6 stops nearer to Dover. Then I met Alvin there, so we went to Dover together. Oh, and I've got to tell the people something. I'm not with Alvin. He's just a really good friend of mine. And to remind my dear friends, my best friends are mostly guys. So please do not mistake it just because he's older than me, smarter, stronger and obviously taller. Oh dear, I'm giving another intro again. I've got to stop praising people. Haha. I'm feeling like I'm very fortunate to have these kind of friends. Especially that I don't hang well with the people in my school. Ok, I've got to get back on track. That day, Clarise, or I may nickname her "the screaming girl". It should be obvious why I call her that. If you guys don't know, just check my past blog. Then I met afew new friends.I only can recall Jordon, for his huge size.(No offence, Jordan, but I really wish I could grow tall like you). I still remember that there was this guy in the class called Jonathan, which kept telling me the same sentence
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"You're older than me, but I'm still taller than you."
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Then got really irritated when he kept repeating it. Oh, and I also learnt a new japanese word from Shuu. It's a Hiki(He said it was a lovebite in japanese). We found out about it when we saw the marks on his left arm. PS: I keep thinking that Shuu was a girl.....
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Nothing much to talk about already. Only to tell people that my schedule of NCC Training has been changed. It has been changed from monday to thursday. So if anyone wants to go out with me on monday, please do!! And book me fast, as there are people I do not want to see which may book me for that day. Plus, another good reason would be that I want to buy birthday presents for people. Ok, it's late already. And people, I might not be able to post much as my parents are monitoring my blog. Have to watch what I write already.....
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FIKRIISKANDARHASINVITEDMETOACONCERTONMYBIRTDAYANDISTILLREMEMBERTHATHEOWESME6DOLLARS.
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We love urmmmm..........perfect english!!!!

Flashbacks

2009-01-07T22:51:00.004+08:00

Well, I was passing by afew days in school while the sec1 orientation was on. Many memories were running through my mind when I was attached to Sec 1A 2009. They reminded me of the times when I was taking sec 1A 2008 last year. Good times when I lost my voice. Well, this year, sec 1A was much better, but still not that good. They were more well behaving, and needed less scolding. I had my fun while guiding them.

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During the camp also, I was put with some people in stations for the 2 days. I was away from people for awhile so I was just retracking for the past few days which I had fun. Then I got reminded of the time when I went for my first tennis lesson at SP. I was having too much fun to notice my hand tearing, and also had afew back and neck pains. But it's all gone now, almost, actually. I also remembered there was a unusual girl in the class with an unusual accent. Her name was Clarice, if I'm not wrong. If I am, please do correct me. About the girl, she is only 14 this year. When I told her I was going to turn 15 this year, she replied me with this

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"wow, you're that old?"

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I was stunned. That I was called old. And when I went for swimming class in the afternoon, I got the same comment from one of my classmates, that I was old. But this time it was for a better reason. The kid who said it was only 7. So I didn't mind as I was twice his age.

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Another recap I did during the camp. Songs are what is keeping my heart in tune to happiness. Funny tunes like caramelldansen or showtime make me happy. Whereas tunes like check yes juliet and love story reminds me of romantic scenes. Especially when I saw alot of romantic places in Perth, when I was there. Then it continued by reminding of the family we made in the trip. I WAS THE AUNTIE!!! WOOTS!!! NEXT TIME CALL ME AUNTIE!!! Haha. Just joking around. Only Ruey Feng and Fazarul can call me auntie. The rest of you guys must either call me big sister in chinese, or long jie. Or you can just call me by my name.

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Well, I'm forced to sleep as I have school tomorrow, and after school, I'm going to study somewhere and also collect someone's birthday present. And I might also be playing tennis somewhere so I'll just bring my tennis racket around for fun, joy peace and laughter. But if what my friend promised me, that he'll stay in class for me to teach him tennis, then I'd be glad to help. Ok, I've got to stop. I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning and reply to the rest of my emails and tags. I'm going to put up a picture because I just feel like putting one up.

left to right:

Channel(mother), Fazarul(son), Amir(father), Ruey Feng(son) and me(auntie).

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We still love tennis alot!!!

Tennis mania

2009-01-03T20:20:00.004+08:00

I was actually looking forward to posting a happy post of what happened today. But my parents had to piss me off (again), so I'll try my best to be happy and write all about today's happy memories I had.

Well, firstly, today was my first tennis lesson at the new place. Accidentally went there too early and reached around and 9am. Was waiting for Alvin to come and I alot of people with sports stuff all over the mrt. It reminded me of the time when I went to Singapore Poly to have the History Trial. Good times. Then while I when he arrived, we made our way towards the courts. He told me it was going to be a long walk. I didn't think it was though, as I walk that long to get home. When we arrived there, some people were already there. So coach did some intro of the swings and hits to me first. I actually don't really know tennis well, but I was willing to give my best. I was really happy when coach was giving me alot of compliments. Then had alot of fun also during the whole time in class. Met afew new people with funny accents and stuff. And also weird people who had internal conflicts with each other, and it made us quite irritated. I learnt so many new things, like cat on the hill and what is a serve. (I actually didn't know what was a serve O.O) Then it started raining so coach stopped class from there onwards. We went to the bowling alley to take in some air con and rest. We resumed our tennis with a 2 on 2 at the second court. Was playing with Alvin, Jonathan and Ben. By then, the skin on my hand was scraping off, and I was wondering why there was a smell of omega oil on the grip. I found out soon. Had alot of fun during the 2 on 2. Had a few shots that reminded me of my badminton. Where the ball came from high up and smacked right infront. Took afew shots that nearly made me throw my racket again. Because if those people who play tennis with me, they would know that if I use my back hand, the racket will fly as I always thought of the tennis racket as a badminton racket. So the racket will fly, and when it flies, it flies high and far. People should be really really careful of me...

Then also I made friends with funny people. And some are pervertic. (Ahem...Jonathan, I'm talking about you...) And some of the pervertic people are disgusting. I would call them the Singaporean spitters. Haha. After lunch (can't really said I had lunch as I only took a drink that finished in less than 1 min, being the kind of camel I am.) We made our way to the mrt, and saw alot of girls in fbts...O.O. Nothing that I don't see many times. Sad for everyone who is salivating now, the girls are all 17 and above already. Haha. Have fun catching up with age. So after that, I made my way to APS. There I found out that my shirt stunk really really badly. And my irritating swimming class. Wish I could end it asap.

Well, the next few parts I'm making it unseen, because it's all complaints and pain and everything you wouldn't want to hear. If you find a way to read it, good for you. But if you do not want to, just scroll down to the rest of the blue words.

I AM SO PISSED WITH MY PARENTS. THEY THINK JUST BECAUSE THEY PAY FOR MY FEES, THEY CARE. WHEN WE GET INJURED, THEY JUST SAY "ORH". WHEN WE SAID THAT WE HAD COMPLIMENTS FROM THE COACH OR TEACHERS, THEY WOULD JUST SAY "ORH". WHEN WE ASK WHETHER WOULD THEY CARE IF WE DID WELL, THEY WOULD JUST SCOLD US BACK AND SAY THAT WE ARE UNGRATEFUL AND UNFILIAL CHILDREN. WHEN WE GET LECTURED, THEY THINK EVERYTHING THAT THEY SAY TO US DOESN'T HURT, AND THAT WE CAN REMEMBER EVERY WORD THAT THEY SAY DURING AT LONG PERIOD OF TIME. AND WHEN THEY ASK YOU REASONS WHY YOU JOIN OTHER COURSES THAN THOSE FROM GOOD SCHOOLS, THEY ALWAYS SAY OUR ANSWERS ARE BULLSHIT, WHEN THEY THEMSELVES HAVE NOT EVEN GONE THROUGH IT THEMSELVES. AND THEY ALWAYS THINK JUST BECAUSE THEY HAVE GONE THROUGH THEIR SO CALLED LIVES, THEY HAVE NEVER KNOWN THAT THE WORLD IS CHANGING EVERYDAY. EVERYTHING HAS TO SUIT THEM, NOT US. THEY HAD NEVER THOUGHT THAT WE WERE ACTUALLY THE FUTURE, WHEREAS THEY ARE THE PAST. FOR ONCE, I JUST WISH PARENTS COULD SEE WHY WE CHILDREN HATE PARENTS. I'M SAYING THIS FOR THE GROUP OF PEOPLE WHICH ARE FIGHTING FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVE WHILE BEING SUPRESSED BY THEIR PARENTS WHICH THINK THAT WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS THE BEST FOR US. IN FACT, THEY'RE KILLING US, AND OUR SCHOOL WORK. BECAUSE THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT OUR GRADES IN SCHOOL, AND MY MUM CAN STILL SAY THAT THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT OUR GRADES BUT OUR ATTITUDE. AND ITS NO LIKE WE'RE PERFECT, SO CAN'T YOU ATLEAST GIVE A SMILE OR THUMBS UP WHEN WE DO SOMETHING THAT IS BIG TO US, RATHER THAN SAYING, IT'S STILL NOT GOOD ENOUGH? WE MIGHT BE JUST KIDS, BUT WE'RE STILL HUMANS AND WE UNDERSTAND, AND WE ARE TRYING TO LIVE BY WHAT WE BELIEVE, WHAT WE CARE FOR AND ALSO TRYING TO MAKE YOU GUYS PROUD. BUT PARENTS, PLEASE JUST CUT US SOME SLACK. AND IF YOU CAN'T FIND THE REASON WHY MANY STUDENTS DON'T LIKE STAYING HOME, WELL, YOU CAN BLOODY HELL ASK THEM AND THEY'LL GIVE YOU THE STRAIGHT ANSWER. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT IT IS. "I DO NOT WANT TO COME HOME AND THE NEXT MINUTE, MY PARENTS START SCOLDING ME FOR JUST TURNING THE MUSIC ON, FOR JUST PUTTING A PLATE OF EGGS ON THE TABLE, FOR JUST TALKING ON THE PHONE FOR JUST A MERE MINUTE WITH A VERY GOOD FRIEND, FOR JUST TRYING TO ESCAPE TO OUR ROOMS TO AVOID YOUR VOICE OF SCOLDING." WHAT'S WORSE, MANY PARENTS DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS THE MEANING OF REACHING THE LIMIT. AND WHEN WE CRY, WE ALWAYS CRY IN SILENCE BECAUSE WE KNOW THAT YOU GUYS WOULD JUST SAY WE WERE WEAK AND YOU GUYS WOULDN'T EVEN COME TO COMFORT US. I'M SAYING THIS ALSO TO MY OWN PARENTS. AND IF MY DAD FINDS OUT ABOUT THIS SMALL PORTION OF WHAT I WROTE, I'D BE GLAD HE CAN READ THIS AND UNDERSTAND US ATLEAST ABIT. BUT I'M SURE HE'LL FORGET IT AS SOON AS HE CLOSES HIS LAPTOP. TRUST ME, ADULTS ARE ALL LIKE THAT. PLEASE, PARENTS, JUST BE LESS STRESSFUL WITH YOUR KIDS. I KNOW HOW THEY ARE LIKE, SO JUST TRUST ME IN THIS. IT'S NOW YOUR CHOICE, PARENTS. YOU EITHER FOLLOW THIS, AND LET YOUR KIDS ENJOY MORE AND GAIN MORE RESPECT FROM THEM, OR IF YOU DON'T, JUST LOOKOUT BECAUSE YOUR KIDS WILL TAKE EVERY CHANCE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE AND RUN AWAY.

If I insulted anyone, I'm sorry. But this is the truth and only the truth. I wish to forget all of this, so I hope everyone enjoys their life as much as possible. Please don't be too badly impacted by what I write. And check out for more posts, because I will update my blog as much as possible.

Well, let's end this blog with a funny picture about myself. Scroll down

We love tennis!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

2009-01-01T19:46:00.003+08:00

Happy new year everyone. To everyone who made me live through a wonderful 2008, I hope I'll be able to repay everyone this year by also making everybody happy. And to those who think they made my life bad last year, do not worry, as you are forgiven. I know some people didn't celebrate their new year well, do not worry. Because we still have a whole year ahead of us. prepare for the real adventure this year, Where many of us will get into our primes and others will become real teenagers. Sadly, some of my kors will be leaving or poly or uni for their further studies. Now All I can say is that I have to change from this weird little girl into an average human. This was how I looked like in 2008. I'll promise I'll look differently.
Oh, and this will be my calendar for the year. It's really precious to men, and if I see anyone vanalising my calendar or doing anything to it, I'LL SERIOUSLY KILL YOU!!! It was given to me from Sean when he was in Japan. Other than the pair of earrings he gave me, this was the first present he gave me. It means alot to me, and I'll never forget 2009 without the calendar.

Now since the year has already started, I'd like to make afew new year resolutions. And hopefully, I'd adhere to them this time.

1. Spend more time with firends and less time with all my activities. Also make time for myself though.

2. Study more this year and organise my life more this year without turning into some neat geek.

3. Less commitment to my own needs and more commitments to the needs of others and church also.

4. Exercise more and try to keep myself as healthy as possible without getting too tired for my other needs.

5. Start saving up to atleast buy some stuff for myself and also for others. Atleast to be able to buy my own stuff, like clothes.

6. Go into a tennis class with Alvin, like he asked me to. And master it well, so hopefully it won't go to waste.

7. Get my own trumpet andpractice it always. If I can't do it at home, then I'll do it somewhere where I can find peace and tranquility. And also get help from my band friends.

8. Try to spend as much time with my dear as possible and hope that nothing much happens when we try to meet. And I really hope we can have a chalet again.

9. Get a good head sart for 2009, and get alot of money and luck for this year. And live a life of happiness for as long as this year lasts.

10. Fulfil atleast 5 of these resolutions, or I'll kill myself by next year.

I'm going to enjoy school tomorrow with my new uniform, my new classmates, my new juniors, and my new year. Hopefully, I'll enjoy it more than what have been going through last year. And to my kor, do not worry anymore. Only one sideo fme is Lilith. A very small part. And to Sean, hopefully our relationship will flourish next year. I'm missing you so^^

Well, that is all I have to say.Hopefully I'll enjoy my year this time. And I almost forgot. Today is the birthday of my blog. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLOG!!!

We love blogging!!!

Great time with great friends

2008-12-29T05:10:00.004+08:00

Just to let everyone know, I was also doing another puzzle after finishing my 6 disney babies panorama. It was a 500 piece Lilo and Stitch puzzle. I took only about 2 hours to finish it though, because alot of pieces were stuck together, so I took it easy. And someone... didn't want to talk to me because he was too sleepy to talk to me. He was always tired at night that he wouldn't talk to me for ever 2 hours. Sigh, it was always quite boring while doing puzzles.But it's ok, because I hav my phone with me, so I can replay my songs over and over again. And those songs were sent to me by others, so I was always singing the songs while doing the puzzles. Haha. Don't think I'm crazy singing to myself, ok? I like doing that.

Anyway, I went to my godbrother's yesterday to play tennis. I was there 2 hours early though. I didn't like being late. I never liked being late at all. When I am late, I just keep making the face that I hate myself for being late. So I got there arund 3+, and wondered around the house awhile. I found that my god bro, Jia Sheng, had a sketch book exactly the same as mine, and the top drawing was what he drew in class. Zoom in and see what it is. It's really funny and cute. He has also have really good drawing skills. I didn't tell him that I was having some fun looking around his room when he's not around.

So we went to the tennis courts around 5pm. We started the game first before the other team came. We had a small game first. Then we had other rounds when the other group came. I teamed up with Alvin while his other brother teamed up with Kai Sheng to play 2 on 2. My brother kept going into the middle of the court, and we were all afraid of hitting his head. And especially that Alvin is a hard-hitter, my brother had alot of chance to lose his special parts. Haha. I kept wanting to kill the ball because I kept missing it by only an inch. And I was always too short to hit the high shots. Even with all the jumping... Then I played with them 2 hours straight. Had blisters on my left hand and feet. Then we had dinner with my god parents. Alvin's family couldn't stay for dinner as they're mum is sick at home so they needed to rush off after the game. By the way, small intro for Alvin. He's from Hwa Chong, so he's really really smart. But he made me laugh abit with his new hair cut. He still looked cute though. He used to have a fringe. So after dinner, I got really tired so our aunt drove us home. Right after that I fell asleep, so I'm awake now, blogging, because I woke up at around 3+ and I was hungry.

Now I'm going to talk about what happened 2 days ago. I went to a concert with Ben, as you guys know. He was really tall, and I mean really tall. I had to look up to see his face. When we arrived there, we had to wait about an hour before the rest of the guys came. We went to NTU, and went for te concert inside. Something funny happened in the bus though. You want to know, just ask. Made afew friends during that time. Too bad I was the only girl, and also the youngest in the group. The twins were also jokers. The whole group were really fun and cute guys. And Ben gave me chocolate for christmas!!! Haha. He was the only guy that gave me chocolate. Only 3 friends of mine, all guys, have given me anything for this year's christmas. The chocolate tastes great though. The present I got for Ben was abit weird though. It was something I can't say because it is really too weird. But just to say, I really had a really good time, and I thank Ben for inviting me and even paying for my ticket^^

the cold and bitterness I go through
the only warmth I could find was in you
in everything that I do for you, and I mean everything
I felt like it wasn't just for nothing
Thinking of you day and night
I always thought that I was right
In making such a decision
Even for you, in such a situation
I always hoped that your parents wouldn't mind
how mine and your parents will find
us together, with our dumb ideas and sacrifices
hopefully, we won't turn into misers

I think that's about all for today. Going to school later for NCC and PSL. Getting my other unifrorm and also my books. Going to prepare for year 2009 already. I'm growing old while staying the same height... *crying my heart out*

We love tennis!!!

No title. random post

2008-12-27T11:25:00.006+08:00

my puzzle is done!!!

I'm so happy that I've finished my puzzle. Took me quite a long time to finish and well, it was a success. Just that some people won't even stay up afew more minutes just to talk to me while I finish the last pieces. But it's ok, because I stuck myself in the attic for around 5 nights to finish the whole thing, and stopped my regular meals just to make sure I had enough time to finish it by today morning. So I had been mostly surviving on chips and coke. Yesterday was the last day, so I changed to soup instead, to keep my body warm and awake. Monday, I'm going to get it framed and settled. It's going to be great. Wonder what coloured frame though.

I got tagged to do this quiz by Kelvin, so I might as well have the fun and plesure of doing it.

#1 The first person who tagged in your blog is:Ivan

#2 Your relationship with him/her:Senior in NCC

#3 Your impression of him/her:He's a geek

#4 The most memorable thing he/she has done for you:Help me create a Cbox

#5 The most memorable thing he/she said to you:Thank you?

#6 If he/she become your lover you will:Try to make him more man

#7 If he/she become your lover, thing(s) he/she has to improve/change will be:He's has to be stronger than me, or he's not considered a man

#8 If he/she become your enemy, you will:I will fight with him all day

#9 If he/she become your enemy, the reason will be:That Iwas sabo-ed by him and scolded by the teacher

#10 The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is:Make him a man

#11 Your overall impression of him/her is:He is good, but still a geek

#12 How you think people around you feel about you?: they think I'm loud, weird and totally incontrolable

#13 The characteristic(s) that you love about yourself is:I can talk to people well(some), and that I look average, which makes me happy enough

#14 On the contrary, the stuff you hate about yourself: I'm lousy at studies, my memory sucks and I'm really too small sized for my age

#15 The most ideal person you want to be is:Obama!!!

#16 Say something to those who care and like you: I know I couldn't have gone through all my hard times without you guys cheering me on.

#17 Pass this quiz to 10 people (tag those with blogs):

1. Sean tan

2. Joseph Lee

3. Samuel Sinn

4. Sherwin

5. Clive

6. Alvin

7. Jia Sheng

8. Bryan Lim(because it's his birthday today...)

9. Nicholas

10. Jake(I chose your name randomly)

#18 Who is no.6 having relationship with?: He's single

#19 Is no.9 a male or female?: Male

#20 If 7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?: NO WAY!!! THEY'RE BOTH GUYS!!!

#21 What is no. 2 studying?: English, maths, science, chinese, SS etc...

#22 When was the last time you had a chat with no. 3?: This morning. He was telling me about his girl...

#23 What kind of music does no. 8 like?: Soft and simple, I think.

#24 Does no. 1 has any siblings?: yes, he has a brother called Melvin...

#25 Will you woo no. 3?: He's a nice guy, but he's got a girl, and he's just a really really good friend of mine

#26 How abt no. 7?: He's my godbrother. He's a really good brother, but not my type. Haha.

#27 Is no. 4 single?: Yes.

#28 What's the surname of no. 5?: I forgot...

#29 Whats the hobby of no. 10?: All I know is that he has a guitar...

#30 Does no. 5 and 9 get along well?: They're both in the same school but I don't think they even know each other

#31 Where is no. 2 studying at?: Montfort Seconday School.

#32 Talk something casually about no. 1: Someone so close to me that I'll die if he leaves

#33 Have you tried developing feelings for no. 6?: Not really, but he's a really good talker.

#34 Where does no. 9 lives?: Somewhere in hougang

#35 What colour does no. 4 like?: Not sure...

#36 Are no. 5 and 1 best friends?: No. It's a senior junior relationship

#37 Does no. 1 have any pets?: Yes. 2 hamsters which are adorably too cute.

#38 Is no. 7 th sexiest person in the world?: urm... I wouldn't consider it so.

#39 What is no. 6 doing now?: In malaysia enjoying time with his family.

Well, those people who I have labelled are to do this quiz, and please make me happy.

I'm going to a concerrt with Ben later so I'll not be online much today. And I'm really happy that my dad allowed me to skip my horrible swimming class which nearly killed me once. Going to have some fun later to tease Ben for his height. Haha. Ok, well, all I have left to say is...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRYAN!!!!

We love saturdays!!!

Weird Christmas

2008-12-24T23:49:00.004+08:00

(you'll understand this later)

Sorry guys!!! I know I haven't posted for a long time already. I'm here now, posting about my life, when I was in Thailand, and back.

My life in thailand wasn't good, as it always hasn't. The post before this one can help explain why very clearly. And there were afew crying parts I didn't add in, because I didn't want people to worry for me. Unluckily, some people found out and started to worry badly or me. I had to stop their worries, and tell them I was fine. My brothers all stood next to me when I was in pain. I couldn't thank them for standing by my side when I needed them.

But the sad thing was that not only were my brothers suppose to stand by me, there was some other special person that should be too. And he should be really close too. Some people even pity me for staying with him through all these tough times. Then I to start reminding myself, telling myself that it wasn't true that staying with him is a pity. Rather, it was a fortune to have met a guy like him. I had to keep reminding myself that I was the one who chose to be with him. And to be with him will be all I want. Something happened to us when in the cinema. I wanted to blog about it but when I tried to, the whole thing got deleted when I was publishing it. And because my memory sucks badly, I decided not to write it again as I know it'll remind me of how I felt during that time, and I know I won't be happy reading this post.

Well, it was supposed to be posted on Christmas eve, but I as I had said, the post got deleted when I was publishing it. And I had to spend the rest of the time with my family and stuff. When I got all my presents and everything, I went up to the attic again to do the puzzle my kor kor bought for me. It was what I really wished for christmas and he made an effort to get something that big for me. I really appreciated it. It was the puzzle of 6 disney babies. I will treasure it for a long time to come. It's because I have 6 people I consider my sons and they all matter alot to me. I doubt without them, I will never be able to survive with their father for so long. I'm going to finish doing it today and I'll get it framed on monday. My christmas has never been so happy.

And I posted late because on christmas, I stayed a long time at my god bro's house, which was only a small walk away from my NCC headquarters. So it was a fond place for me to go. And when my parents wanted to go back home, I thought it was still too early, so my brother and I stayed back while my parents went back with my baby brother. Then I stayed and played psp with my god bro. Then we had a small game of spastic, speed and 21. It was really fun. Then we got abit bored so we went to turn on the electone. We had some fun playing with it. We got bored then we went to book a one hour slot for the tennis court to play. The reason I wanted to learn how to play tennis is because I was given a tennis racket by my uncle. So I didn't want it to go to waste. While waiting for our time slot, Jia Sheng, my brother and I started playing poker and our money were all uno cards. After we had our games, we went to the tennis court to play. I was practicing while they threw balls at me to hit. Then we had some 1 to 1 games. I hit some of the balls too hard that they bounce out of the court and all over the place. There was also one ball which I hit, and it hit the lampost, which it then hit one red car, and then it bounced to somewhere near a ventilator. Now, the ball is stuck at the second storey of some block. Haha. After our game, we went back and played more poker and psp. Then we had our dinner and waited for our parents to come here. While then, we planned a tennis outdoor thing on sunday. With my god bro's family and some other friends. Going to have lots of fun on sunday. And we are also planning to go to Batam to fish at the kelong there. Going to be super fun. But the bad thing is that I'll be the only girl there with the same bunch of tennis people. First time for me though. Going to be a good experience. Hope it doesn't fall on monday, because I need to go to school for NCC, then PSL, then I need to buy my books. But it'll be fine with me if I have to miss that day. I don't mind.

Anyway, I'm going to a concert tomorrow with Ben and some friends, so I'll have to talk my dad to allow me to skip the swimming lesson I have. I can die in my swimming lesson. Hope to see school open again. I have to say our new uniform is really nice. It's white and blue now. And the pe is translucent, so guys, please don't drool over it. Haha.

We love tennis!!!

First day in Thailand

2008-12-17T23:47:00.003+08:00

My first day and it sucks already. I told my mum that I can do stuff better in an outside of the hosue environment. I proved it to her. And I proved it well. Everything I did made the family happy. Or so I think. No one had any troubles. I was the one running around doing the errands. Making everyone happy. Who'd guess, after there was no crowd left, when we were out of the public, I would get scolded by my mum over and over again. For being just a freak. For being different. For just helping everyone. And I still am pissed off with my sister and brother. My sis, everything that I say, she has to say something bad about it. She's just a super old always in the way kaypo. So she think she's the oldest, she has the most priority. She has some, but she has got to remember that she's still no smarter nor stronger than me. And also not that matured and experienced. Well, enough of talking about the bitch. Now we'll talk about the other gay bitch which has spoiled my whole entire life ever since he was born. He had to scream at my ear, hit me with things that make me injured and scar me, try to argue with me(which makes my sister scold me and not him, when the situation doesn't even involve her), and what's more, my mum will side with him and scold me more. I had enough scoldings from the family already. Having to take care of the old ones and the young one is already tiring enough for me, and I don't even get any thanks for suffering. I told them, if they wanted to come, go ahead. Don't bring me along, because I'm sure you guys will scold me for everything that I do. Be it helping them and making them proud or just doing a small mistake. I was forced to go, and well, I wish to cry my heart out. If only the politicians continued the fighting, I won't be in this country that may and will be taking away my life. Right now, I'm fermenting in this apartment, forced to sleep on the floor of the living room. God, if anyone could help me now, I'll be willing to run.

Hais, I think I better end all the misery here. Will be sticking with my father for the whole trip. Can't be bothered by my mum already. She's just going to be a pain in my ass. And if they ever find out that I posted this, let them read. It's for them to understand why my mood wavers on a line as thin as an ant's leg.

We hate trips with families!!!(Especially mine)

Had so much fun

2008-12-15T22:02:00.004+08:00

Today, I went to Kuo Chuan Pres. to pass Miss Goh the cookie monster. She was a really good teacher. Hopefully she'll come back before I graduate from the school. I actually went to Pres. High by accident, thinking that it was KCPSS. Haha. Then after I went to both schools, I took a bus back to bishan. I thank God that I took the bus because the 2 guys I saw coming out of the school when I was talking to Miss Goh were still walking half the journey. I was thinking I would be late meeting Sean and Jin Quan. Actually, and fortunately, I was early.

After I met them, we went to select the movie. (Is it really that hard to select a movie?) After we chose the movie, we bought the tickets then went to buy food at kopitiam to eat. After collecting our food, we went to the balcony of Vivo to eat. The place reminded me of when me and Sean celebrated his birthday. While eating our food, Sean and Marcus kept playing with the cucumbers and chopsticks. They threw the chopsticks over the wall(because we were at the top of the seatings) and heard the sticks fall to the floor on the other side. Then they threw the cucumbers towards the front, near the cleaner.
(Sigh. guys will always be guys)
Then we went off to roam around vivo before the movie. We then went into the cinema for our movie. It was really cold, trust me. Next time you must always bring a jacket along, or you can just ask the guy to hug you. Couldn't get the hug so I was freezing in the cinema. I don't regret it though. Was laughing my ass off watching Madagascar 2. I was actually amazed by the amount of green tea I drank while watching the show. Sean was then gobbling down the whole packet of lays.

After the movie, we went to Toys r us. OHHHH!!! Wanted to kill them. They should know I hated to go inside but still, we had to go. Especially when I walked in, I was still talking to them when we were walking inside, so I was facing them. When I turned around, the next thing I saw was a big magic set on a discount. They were all trying to kill me. So then we played hide and seek inside. Then I was like a dumbass running around. I thought I could just run off and go around wondering. Would have loved the time alone. When I finally ran back, went to kick all their asses. After that, we went to the balcony again.

Had alot of fun playing in the water. Because Sean didn't want to come into the water after the first round of splashing, I had to take his slippers away from him and go into the water. He could only get it back if he exchanged something with me. So I went up to him to exchange. Haha. It's something mouth to mouth. But not CPR. After he got back his slippers, we went back to sit. Was abit disappointed as he didn't wrap his arms. He was as blur as ever. Then the next round came. I managed to take his whole bag, with his phone and everything inside. Haha. The game was getting more exciting. Then I was running around in the water, around and around the plants. Then he had to find me and chase me. He was actually really tired already, so went back to rest. Then Jin Quan came with my phone, and dared to put it in the water. So I dared him back by turning Sean's bag upside down while unzipping the bag slowly. Then the next chase began. Because Jin Quan's pants were less absorbent, he could run as much as I could. But they still didn't catch me. Then I ran around and went to get Sean's slippers also. Then I ran back into the water. Then Jin Quan and I made a deal. If Sean were to exchange again, then I would return him one thing. So I had one more of mouth to mouth, and I gave back his slippers. Then we had a last walk around the water, the one where we had to walk all 3 pools. After that, Sean exchanged one last one, a not so good but better than the last one. Then I gave him back his bag. Haha. I killed 3 birds with just one small stone. So after the last one, we went to change. Sean changed on the spot, while I changed in the toilet. After I came out, the guys went in, so I went in again to dry my fbt. Seems like I scratched my fbt abit on my butt while trying to pull Sean in the water just now. I took off my fbt to dry( was wearing two piece inside so it was ok). It got dryer, atleast. Then we went to walk around Vivo again and went to Superdog to eat. I was wondering why was he talking to me in an angry tone... After the meal, we took the mrt back. Then Jin Quan push me towards Sean's chest and told me to lean on it. I was more than happy to do it. Then I wrapped my arms around him. I was really liking it alot. After we changed train, I was holding on to him like I would never let go. Even when my legs were injured and still shivering, and so were my injured arms, it just felt like I couldn't let go. Only when I knew that it was the end of the end which I could see him, then would I let go. After I let go, which was at Tampines, I gave him a farwell kiss then left. Hopefully, I'll be able to see him sometime soon.

I took a bus back, which was 1 hour, I kept falling asleep in the bus. Then the only time I woke up was when a bunch of children were bouncing around the chairs and landed on me. Then I walked home from the bus stop. I really wished the day wouldn't end.

Ok, I think I'll just end it here. Getting pissed off with my mum and brother pissing me off everyday of my life, which couldn't get any better.

I just wish I could put all those photos all over to let everyone to see. But because of all my restrictions, I'm forbidden to show anyone the love I give you. Hopefully everything will turn out well.

We love water!!!

Random

2008-12-14T07:08:00.003+08:00

This was what I have been watching for the past few days as I have been so bored out at home. Well, just watch it. It's really cute.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUwYYOSRiGU
Well, I liked these songs also. They have been my favourites since my young age. So here you go. I don't really know how to upload youtube videos so I have to upload them like this. Sorry for the inconvenience to everybody.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2P3SWl0EAAs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOjaJrgwzwA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwNpO0I_u1w
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlEMjwDrlZA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqvtxIkBBok
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hV46-cNl9w
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nb0K0w3W04U
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvO4XMxtlFM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOAR37d8X7c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YcfRN5efM0
Go and check out what I've been listening to. I've been too bored to upload anything. Maybe tonight I will, or the next day, or the next day, or the next day, or the next day, or the next day...

We don't love anything today. It's to rainy to love anything.

Bad burns and alot more pain

2008-12-11T09:54:00.003+08:00

These were the sun burns and peircings that caused me alot of pain for the past week. Enjoy.

Right arm sun burn
Left arm sun burn
Right ear peirce

Left ear peirce

I wanted to post this afew days ago but didn't want to as I was too tired. Was busy doing stuff and resting to do any blogging. Now that I have some time, I need to spend it on everybody. Christmas presents are already bought, so now it's time to finalise the wrapping and everything. Well, I got some scolding from afew parents for calling their children when they were in Japan, but I didn't really care as I was busy plaing my DS and already knew that it was coming. I think this post will be most likely short as I didn't do anything fun the past few days. I am looking forward to a time where I can see my dear again. Somehow something tells me it'll be a long time before I can see him again. I went to peirce my ears for one reason only, and well, I hope that it was a correct reason. Now I'm abit in pain as the peircings are causing me alot of trouble here and there. I won't be home later until quite late as I will be going out with a friend of mine to celebrate his birthday. And I changed my blogskin. Some of my friends say that it's too plain and it doens't show what I want to express out. So they found a more understanding blogskin for me and uploaded it in. The moment I changed my blogskin, I noticed that my dear's blogskin was changed to the exact copy of my old blogskin. Now I don't know whether to change it back or not. If I don't, I'm afraid that my dear will be upset. If I do, later all my friends will be asking why did I change back to my old blogskin just to suit my dear. I'll just leave it like that until I understand what I can do next.

Ok, seems like this will be what I will be writing for today. I hope I will be more active, because I'm being bored out and growing fat at home.

We love dear!!!

WEIRD AND LONELY WEEK

2008-12-09T09:45:00.002+08:00

well, since I was asked to post a blog soon, I'll just post a really short one. I was going present hunting today again so that I could finish my list sooner or later. Better to get it done sooner. Went out with some friends and their cousins. Syafiq came along too. Was great to see him again, with longer hair. Haha. So we went to hunt for presents, and I managed to find afew at IMM. After that, we headed to a library, which was closed for that day because it was a public holiday. Sad for some people who had to carry us over the mud for nothing. Haha. Then we headed to Science Centre to bring Syafiq back to his mother. After that, we took 66 all the way to Bedok for fun. Actually just to waste time and sleep in the bus. And I was killing the guy who tried to wax my hair and it turned out to be a disaster. I had to walk around with my hair undone and totally messy for the whole day. So we slept all the way there until we reached the mrt stations. They went back home and I went to Pasir Ris to loiter around. Managed to find afew more presents for people. It was actually quite hard as the presents left to buy were all for guys, and I don't really know what guys want. So I bought home some stuff. After I returned home, there was steamboat for dinner. We had some guest around so I quickly ate. I don't know why, but I felt sleepy after my dinner, so I escaped to my room to sleep. But my sis was around and I couldn't let my mum know I had not bathed yet, so I escaped to the attic to sleep. Slept quite well until some people smsed me and the ringtone kept ringing, and I was awaken. So I after smsing, any sms that came after 2 wasn't answered. So I slept pretty well that night. When I woke, it was already 8+. I was freaked out when I saw the skin around my shoulders tearing into 2 colours. I then finished bathing and answered the rest of my sms. Then I had a long conversation with Ben. Hopefully my bill doesn't burst. But I think it'll be fine, because I will be gone for a week. Then today I will be going to school, I think, to pass my teacher her christmas present, before she leaves. Hopefully, I'll make it in time.

Guess that's all I have to say today. Now to get back to wrapping presents.

We love Christmas!!!

Christmas Crazy

2008-12-05T22:06:00.002+08:00

Went out with some friends today to play badminton. This is going to be a short post because I don't want to reveal much to everyone. I went with friends to Clementi to play badminton, and mostly the people were all younger than me. Then had to wear singlet and skirt, because someone dared me to wear a miniskirt to play badminton, so I did. And it was fun, because people wanted to upskirt me. Because I said that I wasn't wearing fbt. as my fbt was longer than my pants. So we had many fun games, and well, I tore a hole in my favourite pair of socks. We actually went to the arcade before our game, and I helped pay a big sum to let them play. Then we took some neo prints, and well, the machine ran out of paper, so we wasted 5 dollars. But it's ok, so I didn't care. After playing badminton, I went with a friend of mine to Tampines to buy presents for my friends and teachers. So I actually spent alot of money on everything, and I spent aroun 100 dollars. So I felt happy I finally have less people to buy presents for. But now I need more money to buy other things. Hopefully I'll buy everything else in bangkok so I'll save up on alot of money.

Please don't joke anymore. I really hope the misunderstanding will end. If you explain to me, I'll be able to understand. And if you would just give me time to explain to you, I'll let you understand why I'm so insecure.

We love Christmas!!!

Well, let's recap

2008-12-04T17:17:00.003+08:00

I've been going abit crazy this past few days. I'm not really sure why, but I just have. Let's see what happened that made me crazy.

Monday. I went over to Afiqah's house to skate with her at East Coast Park. So we took 109 from her house and stopped somewhere near White Sands Mall. Then from there we skated from Pasir Ris bus interchange to Ehub, then to East Coast Park. We skated from the start of East Coast Park all the way to the end. We had a little trouble at the start of the park because the road there was really rocky. I remember that I used to skate there during the chalet, but Sean was the one who carried me over the rocks. So we skated to the end of the park, then made a small call to Joseph. For some stupid fun, of course. Then after the call, we headed to Ehub, and we say Dinali and Tania again. Seems like they were looking for White Sands Mall but walked all the way to Ehub instead. Then we stayed at Ehub for a small lunch break. After the lunch break, we took the mrt to Orchard mrt station to collect my fbt, which I bought in May. It's a long story. Then we took the mrt back to Serangoon. From Serangoon onwards, we skated back to Afiqah's house. Then Afiqah packed up to leave for Johor Bahru on that day, so I sent her off to thebus stop. Then I skated back home without my parents knowing, because my mum wanted me to take the bus home instead. So when I skated back, didn't eat much, and went to sleep. I was really crazy. I'm not sure whether it's my body that wants to lose weight or am I trying to take away the unhappiness with excersise. So I went home, but abit sad. Because I was so close to his house, yet I couldn't even see him for a moment on that day.

Tuesday. Went to Sentosa with Joseph and the lot of 2B people. They are all from Peicai. Then we went into the water and played. Got thrown into the water quite alot of times by Joseph. Then he firelifted me into the water alot of times. We had alot of fun. Then the teacher came bck with some other food and Eton came also. By the way, Eton, don't ever whistle in front of me. I know I'm without my shirt but you don't have to. Then after some water games, Joseph had a few leg sprains so I had to fix them for him. So we sat quite afew games out. After almost everything ended, me and Joseph had to head back first because Joseph had to reach home first. Then on the way, he talked to me which made me lose my confidence in why I first got to know Sean. The conversation started to get worse, but I couldn't blame anything. It was all too true, and I actually felt like I didn't make the right choice. Then I started thinking, why did I choose you? Why did you choose me? Are you still in love with her? What I do, is it correct? Should I even be in this state? I got so tired of thinking like that, and thought all the facts are wrong. To try to prove myself wrong, I went to get something for the both of us. To make sure we wouldn't fall apart. Hopefully, it'll stay like that. Then I went home by taking 39 from Pasir Ris. Again, I thought. I was so close to you, yet I couldn't even peek a glance at your beautiful face.

Wednesday. I finally went to meet him. Too bad I got badly sunburnt the day before, so I had to wear clothes that did not touch my body much, because my body hurts when something touches it, especially my shoulders, back and legs. I also did not have alot of clothes since I came back from my Perth trip. They were all washing. Then I passed the present to Sean so that he could give it to his venture, Shawn. Then both of them came out, Shawn thanked me for the present. Then I brought Sean home. The whole way, he didn't poke me. I was wondering why not. If he did, I'd be really happy. Because I would then be able to snug a small hug from him. So he didn't, so I didn't get the hug. Abit sad. After sending him home, I went home, because I didn't want people to see me in my clothes. They were quite revealing, and my shoulders hurt, which meant I couldn't wear my bag around, so more of my back was exposed. Once I came home, it was still quite early. So I decided to post the rest of the Perth pictures. Then I went to skate around the Seletar camp. I was lazy to change my clothes, so I just went skating in my skirt and singlet. I think people saw me upskirt, but who cares. My brother came with me, and was he a pain in the ass. Then after we skated, I came back and took a shower. I hated the shower, because my shoulders were hurting when I was cleaning myself. After the shower, I had a conversation with Joseph, Sherwin and some other girl called Chloe. Then I went to bed.

Wednesday. Today. Really bored. Some people were suppose to come to my house to help me cook, but in the end, they didn't. So I was at home the whole time. Going online, going offline, watching movies, sleeping, and then awake again. Then I thought back, why had I been going to Pasir Ris. Was it by coincidence or was it on purpose. Then after I stopped thinking, I told myself I needed to post another post, so here I am, and this is the post.

Well, I have to go to my grandma's house now for dinner.Will go online on my phone, so I can talk with everyone before I reach home.

We love Pasir Ris!!!

Australia pictures part three(last part)

2008-12-03T15:34:00.021+08:00