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Rytha

Rytha Lew Chiu Min
劉秋敏
21/06/1994
lionheaddragonclaw@hotmail.com
Nan Chiau Primary School(graduated)
Peicai Secondary School
4F '10
Female
Past Interact Club President
NCC(Sea) Staff Sergeant
Kayaker
Adidas Lover

[In my world, take backs only happen once.]
[You found my blog? Good, that means you know where you stand.]


I have a mouth for a reason

a monster that make boys cry
Wednesday, July 28, 2010 10:06 PM

Maybe I overreacted yesterday. I guess I wasn't feeling well, and my body just wanted to blame the whole world for it. I just wish I could relax and get rid of this damn flu, so I wouldn't feel so bad. Maybe if God just gave me a damn cure for my flu and sorethroat, I wouldn't be cursing away at everything that comes to my mind. I should have been more controlled. I need my discipline back, I just wish I would get it back soon. Just know that I'm sorry. and I feel stupid.

12:40 AM

The more I think, the more I feel like you'd say something bad about everything I say. So I shall just note it down here. I have a bad ass attitude and I don't think anyone would be able to change that. I love myself for who I am. I don't regret what I'm doing. Or what I did. If you wish to blame me, it's totally up to you. I wasn't the one who was going around liking people just for their assets, and staring at them like some weirdo. I wasn't the one walking around with no clothes on and trying to do stuff with me. I'm not the only one who wants to bang my head on the table every time I think about stupid things. I just wished you took things more professionally. Thinking you're a 17 year old, I should have thought twice.

Yes, I am in somewhat the wrong, but I know you wished you didn't do it too. I want to say sorry, but does it look like we talk much anymore? Can't things just return to normal? We can talk, and just be friends. I'll explain everything now then. All things happen for a reason. I did all those, because I had felt something, and you're warm, and welcoming. Of course attraction would happen right? Law of forces proves everything! And if you're thinking why I always wear that kind of clothing, well I like it. I'm like that. I like to be loose, because I sweat a hell lot and I don't like anything covering below my neck. I feel really uncomfortable. And it takes more than just time to change habits which die real hard. It's as hard as asking you not to say the F word. And I like what I wear. Like Vanga said, if you got it, flaunt it. And I'm not sorry to wear what I want. I make my own decisions, and you can dislike it as much as you like. Guess you're just trying to hide the fact that something happened, but you should know that's never going to happen. Running away won't solve anything either. Just to advise you, I mean. I may be young, doesn't mean I'm not as strong mentally. I may be selfish, yes, but I'm trying my hardest not to ruin it for everyone already. I know I made a mistake, but I just want to take a step back so that it doesn't worsen for everyone else.

This is bullshit except for those from WV:D
Written at 1am in the night, with a bottle of johnny walker and memories of...... stuff.

Saturday, July 24, 2010 2:56 AM

I guess everyday, I look at my blog, and get too lazy to post anything, because there really isn't anything much to post about. Well, there's the Racial Harmony Day thing, but other than that, there isn't much of anything else. Oh, and if you're thinking why I'm eating noodles and blogging in the early morning, I just can't sleep. I want some company but there doesn't seem to be any. It's ok, I'm fine on my own(:

Racial Harmony Day was quite awesome. No school, plus get to wear costumes:D I was quite happy, what's more, I went to watch Despicable Me at AMK and also met Joseph on the way. Kept talking all kinds of sick crap, which was quite normal every time we met. Made me spend money of them again. But it was worth the time, I guess.

Also, hugs are nice:D Really really nice. I love hugs. And everyone knows that. Hug here and hug there! Loving hugs all the way!

Should I cut my hair? To cut or not to cut, that is the question. It's getting really long and really thick. Or should I just cut it all the way up above my neck? Hmm, it's an option. Or should I just layer? OK, you know what? It doesn't really matter.

And I need to find a song to sing. Any suggestions? Vanga, you can input here also:D and no laughing! For teachers' Day. Hmm, still finding songs. Need help! Gotta submit names by monday.

I NEED TO EXCERSISE! HAVE BEEN EATING TOO MUCH COMFORT FOOD! Should have saved the money instead, for the upcoming stuff that I wanna buy. Anyway, that should be about it. I've been stoning in front of the com for too long, watching glee and online crap that I shouldn't, and waiting for facebook to react to something before I stone to death.

Sunday, July 11, 2010 10:45 PM

What am I supposed to feel now? I don't know. Am I supposed to feel, yay, it's not going to cause any more problems? Or am I suppose to feel, shit, it's not going to make anyone happy? Well, I don't know, but I don't want to feel any pain right now, so I'm just going to feel absolutely nothing. Or at least pretend I don't feel anything.

Well, had kayaking today, around Sembawang again. I should really get out of the area for awhile, before I get too attached to the place. I'm going to promanade to kayak soon for the opening of the marina whatever. And I'm so going to enjoy myself.

My urge to do anything has been lost, my will to sleep is gone as insomnia struck, I should have drunk that vodka. I worry, yet I myself am stuck in an emotional shitty position. I always want people to be happy, so is that why I can't stop smiling when I'm still so messed up inside? I've lost the urge for food already, I'm losing a lot more weight than I should be. Taking a lot of things up these few days, and challenging myself, will I still be doing well in school? My brain is mixed, my feelings are pissed, my arms are so willing to punch things right now, just wishing I could find a punching bag.

If I'm still awake later at 2.30, I'll be up watching the world cup. And the person I'd blame for giving me insomnia isn't Jevons le, it's pancake head! And if I really do stay awake, next week, I'M SO GONNA TAU POK HIM! And I just remember I have a test tomorrow. Crap. Nevermind. I had my exercise and I'm happy enough. Hope Hanson is feeling better after today. AND HOLLAND BETTER WIN. OR I'M KILLING SOMEONE TOMORROW IN SCHOOL. BET WITH ME I WILL! After I raise the flag and change out of my uniform. And show off my damn nice arm muscles:D

I'll just get some sleep tonight, I guess. Bring me to sleep. I'm so going to need the sleep, before the insomnia leads through the week. I feel pissed. And I'm so eating a lot of crap tomorrow.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010 5:12 PM

Ah, i just can't go to sleep
Cause it feels like I've fallen for you
It's getting way too deep
And i know that it's love because

I can't sleep til you're next to me
No i can't live without you no more (without you no more)
Oh i stay up til you're next to me (to me)
Til this house feels like it did before
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah

I found this, and well, the song just got stuck into my head and gave me insomnia. Seems like the fact that I keep forgetting what I want to say on my blog. That is how shitty my memory is. Well, anyway, I've not been sleeping well, cursing the person who took my phone. Well, what I can do, I do. And I'll do without my phone first.

Having obsessions of awesome dancers or dances. Envy people with the ability to dance. They swish here and there with ease, making the passion in your heart burn. Bringing every feeling to push you to move your body to the music, and dream about what you desire all your life. And they remind of every memory you loved. And every moment you enjoyed in your life.

Well, school's been quite insane, I guess. I kept stoning in every period, and fell asleep in bio class. Then I started day dreaming for hours for the whole day, but at least I'm able to answer everything the teacher asks me. Thank God for tuition, if not I would be lost by now. I'm still stoning by the way. Knock me out of my trance for God's sake! I'm totally not thinking right!

I'm not eating right. Is something wrong with me? I'm having stomach aches now and then. I keep having the urge to go running, and also the urge of gyming all the time. There must be something wrong with me totally. But I'm feeling fine, so what's going on? Can someone tell me? I'm still confused in many areas.

Sleep? I'm not feeling sleepy. Work? Can't get myself to do. Eat? I'm not hungry. Talk? There's no one around to talk to. Play? No one to play with. I'm trying to cherish everything around me, but there's nothing to cherish right now. I'm just looking forward to school tomorrow.

Thanks a lot insomnia!

Monday, July 5, 2010 5:38 AM


I could always use a little dash of spice in my life. Haha, my life these few days have been tiring. Firstly, I'll talk backwards. Had kayaking yesterday, from morning to evening. Kenneth Lim Pancake Head accompanied me into the water to train. Capsized soooo many times. Stupid Pancake head. Haha. Anyway, had a lot of fun though. Wish Vanga was there too, to TOW HIM AWAY!!! Anyway, I've met new friends, got a broken middle finger, found out Kenneth was a sicko, and a had a lot a lot of fun. Great day:D


On friday, like I said, I'm moving backwards, my school had ignite. Stupid teacher said stuff about my clothes, so what? And my damn skirt is just below my knee, thank you very much, if you're blind enough to see. And I'm talking about my NCC skirt. Anyway, at least I had a great time during that concert. Slept 13 hours after the concert. Must have been too tired after the first week of school. I still am though. I still can't really balance everything together, but at least I'm trying and at least I'm not degrading. Well, putting everything together, it's been good. I miss you so much darling. SHREK TOMORROW! By the way, I would like to ask everyone to watch A-Team! It's an awesome movie:D

I shall never eat spicy food at Ajisen. Thank you pancake head>.<

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